A Greek Tragedy

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

A Greek Tragedy



Ye Athens and thy poets, never drew
A real image of grief and woe

Thou left my tears lost for home
To lay, lament and perishingly roam

Glories of Greek tragedy are but a glance
That decay on the sorrow stage of my trance

I shall fall like a myth
And be remembered that I just lamented herewith

Go gale and cry in sky
That here I lie, and here shall die

For this is a land, of lost hopes
And forgotten dreams, that ever mopes

[Bar22do]

Your poems are always touching, Iraki. This one as well. I think I'd prefer you used modern English through, though. But the juxtaposition of the Greek tragedy with war traumas is original and challenging. Thanks for sharing.

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

Thank you Bar.
You are right, but I intended to shape it in an archaic style, since it is about the ancient Greek. But, as you said, I should transform it into a modern English.

I have a request from you and other critics. I wish you go deeper in the text and highlight the weak points. I believe I can learn from you, so give me a hand.

[Charles Darnay]

I think that if you want to successfully model your form after the Ancient Greek style, you need to pay closer attention to the language and meter of the tragedians. Otherwise this would work better in modern English. Some of the rhymes take away from the meaning you are trying to create.

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

Thank you Charles.
You are right. This point seems to be a shortcoming in the text. I should modify it accordingly.