quick poetry

[cowtipper]

i am in a blue period is it what i or you did
my heart is open yet this mascarade is a fasade
i choose to be broken please give me a token
kudos to the one who mends me
no patriotizm hear
new but no fear
my big bday is near
time for high gear
but what should i do to make it big
i want to smoke my last cig however
that's not going to happen!
unless i get a test
pick up the pieces to repair a mess
says who woemn i have been true
yet each day i am ignored
i feel very bored
time for a kingdom of hearts
i will take care of you and
hoard

[Delta40]

It's very quick and I'm not overly fond of the rhyming scheme or the spelling. More importantly, the force of a poem can change through format. Let me give you an example.
The first opening line is:
i am in a blue period is it what i or you did

Better to frame it like this:

I am in a blue period.
Is it what I (did) or you did?

This way, you're making one powerful statement about your frame of mind and then asking a forceful question. They stand by themselves and catch the readers attention moreso than one continuous line which loses its power completely.

Be conscious of this when writing poetry as you want your piece to pack as much punch as possible and format is one of the ways to do that.

Good luck.