paindrops

[MystyrMystyry]

drops of rain

aiming for
murk puddles
of hidden depth

accumulate by curbs
lay in wait
for a speeding car

targeting
holes in the ceiling
above your bed

drops of rain
with
sneery
snarly
little faces

[cafolini]

I like it. Needs "and," a conjunction before "targetting" because it is not conditional on cars hitting the water. It could also be a disjunction, "or."

[Bar22do]

such a lovely, delicate allusion to pain, strongly evocative... I tend to think that as it is (as an independent strophe), it doesn't need a conjunction, though I see cafolini's point.
a little patience, and on your side of the world spring will come, while we, here, will suffer your present suffering....

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks caf - more paindrops!

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Bar :)

At a point that the entire day becomes nothing but a collection of endless droplets of pain that continue on from the previous day, well you start doubting that there will ever be another rainbow.