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Loringthegreat
06-20-2012, 03:03 PM
Hello, I'm brand new here, but I just saw this and thought why not, I have a few decent things I made a little while back and thought that some opinions of real poets would be nice.


Apostrophe to the Mountain

Oh Giant sentinels hear my humble praise
What picturesque peaks, what enchanting vales
what thralls thou call upon all of thy days
Man's feebleness you fret, with the vilest of gales
to only grow silent and ever removed
What force unstoppable created you?

I pale attempts monarchs and manons
build fortresses, walls, and towers high
nay all of which are feeble limitations
for only you shall stand the struggle of time
Whilst men shall bicker with weapon in hand
only tis you to be true ruler of lands

Too often will a man, a settler so
shall find his way to thy slopes and cry
to some vain diety o'er
cursing thee, analouge to eternity
A force to thee man finds he is not
only angels or gods shall choose this lot

My heart should burn with a passion blazing
at the sight of land from atop thy peaks
only whislt merely a guest gazing
does my sight turn to days and to the weeks
no poet, nor painter, nor brush, nor tool
creates beauty, such as the lands thou rule

Whislt here I may close my earthly eyes
my senses shalt tingle with delight
I feel the wind and the essence of life
I hear trees and small faes trapped in starlight
as I breathe the air that pours from thy veins
My faculty loses and soul doth regain

Dreaming seems only thou should be
Destroyer, keeper, creator, three
Take my shaking hands, allow me to raise
Glorious, eternal and worthy praise
Ancient sentinals rest thee the same
eternity and wonder is true thou name.

Loringthegreat
06-20-2012, 03:04 PM
Numbness

Oh heart take thy leave!
I am much too deep in trouble and in my woe
For what should ail my heart such I do not know
As a blanket, numbness convers me so
oh heart I must have feeling to go
Yet why is it you take such reprieve

Oh what a fragile ship, does a heart make
over the seas of pain and lonliness
Each wave a creaknig, each sail a mistake
never reaching shores of contentness or bliss

Long I have felt as a vessel mere
A vassal to some unseen longing
However no pleasure would I find here
Nothing purchase with endless tears

As the mill continues to creak along
dayless and crumbling, without a song
sooner or later its crumbling shall be
cast to oblivion, to eternity

Oh heart! Why does thou ail me in this mode
this infernal medium of horror and of abuse
this frightful burden, this dreadful load
what to me is this any use.

O heart be my guide!
I knew not which way to turn
for a peace doth I yern
whatever this dreadful doth I learn
of this suffering, of this burn
Oh heart take me to hide!