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NSAM
06-20-2012, 01:58 PM
They found your phone
By the river where we’d searched for you
The screen cracked in abstract violence

Mum slowly thumbs the face
As if to coax out an Avatar
From a universe, back-lit
And built along fractal fissures
A cosmic web in miniature

Mum is a glassy-eyed shaman
Staring three feet into the past
Dousing for you

I am no mystic
I can only observe
Waiting for a breakthrough

I’ve never felt time accumulate this way
In acutely painful significance
The crushing weight of absence
Each day a backward birth

I wonder if you’re in Limbo too

paradoxical
06-23-2012, 02:20 PM
I found this poem to be very exciting and evocative. You had me right at the opening lines.

DocHeart
06-26-2012, 04:42 PM
Hello NSAM.

The subject matter is particularly gloomy, but so are many subjects that afford richly emotional poetry. I *truly* hope it is in no way autobiographical.

You do a great job with it, I think. I especially liked S5:






I’ve never felt time accumulate this way
In acutely painful significance
The crushing weight of absence
Each day a backward birth




The first two lines are very strong, and the last one is mysteriously ominous. The poem could have very well ended here, in my humble opinion.

Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to more of your work.

Regards,
DH