The Essence of Your Soul

[Dark Muse]

The Essence of Your Soul

I am trapped behind the glass
watching you
outside,
only inches apart,
yet worlds away,
you are lost in your own nocturnal dance,
beyond the pale,
I am entranced,
there is sadness
in your beauty,
like a candle flame
I can never grow closer
but I trace your movements,
though the window
and our souls have touched
a moment before you fly away
knowing I tried to draw too close.

[Jack of Hearts]

It's like a startled bird taking flight. It's also got your signature style throughout, Muse.






J

[Dark Muse]

It's like a startled bird taking flight. It's also got your signature style throughout, Muse.J

Haha you are not too far off, it was inspired by watching a moth

[Hawkman]

Hi Muse. I like the idea of this poem inspired by a moth. Not sure that your policy of eschewing full stops is helping it though. there are a couple of places where the extra punctuation would be beneficial. I'd also suggest moving "beyond the pale" to before, "you are lost in your own nocturnal dance," as it would be more comfortable there. Apart from this, a really nice poem.

live and be well - H

[firefangled]

The candle flame seemed like a hint to me. I guessed moth. I liked this one very much, DM. Well done.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you, I debated with myself if I should make a more direct reference to the moth or just let it be elusive and open to interpretation.

[Bar22do]

Subtle and well crafted, Muse! and faithful to your style!

[Mojtaba-Iraqi]

I'm afraid I should not comment here, since I consider all the critics my teachers; but I wanted to express my admiration.
This text reminded my of Thomas Hardy's "An August Midnight". The glass, nocturnal dance, the moth, candle flame and others. Beautifully written.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you very much.