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dark desire
06-01-2012, 05:05 PM
Cyberspace is a hyperreal place. On this forum people discuss literary experiences and tastes. On some forums people give shape to their erotic fantasies and look for comments from readers. There is facebook where people post stuff that interests them. There is online chatting.

Are people are more honest, forthcoming and open in cyberspace than in real life? In speaking out and in listening to? And if so what makes them such?

I have a feeling that people on the web are additionally civilized but I may be wrong.

Leave aside those who intentionally cheat for fun or sex or other things. Also I am not saying that the other life is more or less real. I am just calling it real.

Polednice
06-01-2012, 08:06 PM
Additionally civilized?! Where did you get that impression? Perhaps you're unfamiliar with this accurate equation:

http://www.jacehallshow.com/wp-content/uploads/internetdickwad.jpg

I think the fact that we are not face to face with people, witnessing their gestures, intonations, and body language necessarily means we are devoid of information that keeps us in tune with each other, and this inevitably leads to frustrated misunderstanding.

cafolini
06-01-2012, 08:14 PM
Additionally civilized?! Where did you get that impression? Perhaps you're unfamiliar with this accurate equation:

http://www.jacehallshow.com/wp-content/uploads/internetdickwad.jpg

I think the fact that we are not face to face with people, witnessing their gestures, intonations, and body language necessarily means we are devoid of information that keeps us in tune with each other, and this inevitably leads to frustrated misunderstanding.

That could be said of any medium were there is no hand-to-hand contact. There are thousands. What makes you pick The Inernet to label it with that result?

Dark Muse
06-01-2012, 10:44 PM
I think that to a degree the Internet creates a sort of since of voyeurism that excites people. People will post things online of which they may not in fact actually tell people in person, and give out intimate, private details of their lives because they are under the cover of anonymity, it creates a secret thrill of enticing readers while knowing you can remain safely unknown.

But is this truly more honest?

They may not be intentionally lying or intending to do so, but I do think there may be an overdramtzation, the very fact that they are telling things of which they would not normally speak of is essentially dishonest even if what they are saying is not in itself untrue.

The anonymity also gives allowances to people to act in ways in which they may not do so in person, as example a person who might not feel comfortable being confrontational in person, might take on a more aggressive personality online, and again he might not in fact be telling lies or seeking to actually deceive people, but taking on a personality different than what he or she might normally have.

Mutatis-Mutandis
06-02-2012, 12:37 AM
I think that to a degree the Internet creates a sort of since of voyeurism that excites people. People will post things online of which they may not in fact actually tell people in person, and give out intimate, private details of their lives because they are under the cover of anonymity, it creates a secret thrill of enticing readers while knowing you can remain safely unknown.

But is this truly more honest?

They may not be intentionally lying or intending to do so, but I do think there may be an overdramtzation, the very fact that they are telling things of which they would not morally speak of is essentially dishonest even if what they are saying is not itself untrue.

The anonymity also gives allowances to people to act in ways in which they may not do so in person, as example a person who might not feel comfortable being confrontational in person, might take on a more aggressive personality online, and again he might not in fact be telling lies or seeking to actually deceive people, but taking on a personality different than what he or she might normally have.
This actually describes my online persona pretty well. I'm not at all like I am on here--I'm pretty meek and quiet "in real life." I come here to be someone else, say thing I usually wouldn't say. I think what makes me different is that I'm aware of my portrayal--I think some people actually think they're the way they portray themselves. So, in the manner I present myself, I am a bit of a liar, but it doesn't bother me. Though, when I talk about my life, opinions, and feelings, tag stuff is always true . . . I can't really see fruitful discussions that I'd value coming from me lying about such things.

Dark Muse
06-02-2012, 03:03 AM
One of the biggest things with me on the Internet, is I often like to create a certain aura of mystery about myself. I do like being something of an unknown. I do not care much for mundane chit chat and on the forums I belong to I usually avoid the more social aspects of it. As for example here on lit net, I really don't post in the General discussion threads but once in a blue moon if some topic particularly catches my eye. I stick mainly to the threads that deal with literature.

And when people ask me basic questions about my name, age, location, and such, I usually will give evasive answers, and not because I am self-conscious or paranoid about people knowing these things, but because these sort of details do not interest me. I do not feel like knowing these things tells anyone anything about me.

Some people prefer to know the face behind the name, and I myself enjoy being a disembodied presence online, nor do I feel any real curiosity or need to know what the people whom I speak to look like.

I am more interested in the intellectual engagement than in the physicality of the person.

JBI
06-02-2012, 10:43 AM
Well, the internet in China (the country with the most internet users) used to be the place where anonymous rich kids would go on to complain about everything and pretend to be political. The Government got smart, and made it the law to officially register with your Chinese ID Card to go onto public computers, or to be a member of major social sites. The result, nobody publishes their pseudo-political complaints anymore.

Polednice
06-02-2012, 04:17 PM
That could be said of any medium were there is no hand-to-hand contact. There are thousands. What makes you pick The Inernet to label it with that result?

What does touching hands have to do with anything?

dark desire
06-02-2012, 05:11 PM
I feel very hostile on internet forums. It is not very unreasonable of me to do this though. I often find people irrelevant and verbose to what is being talked about. Then they also talk in uninteresting language which is a big turn off. Somebody is reading you on the internet! Come on! Put greater effort into writing your posts. Then sometimes I feel I care too much about how I write my posts and also that I will take some or a lot of time feel be at ease on internet forums.

I want people to argue more passionately but that does not happen very often. A thread, a post should look active. I am like a very violent thing inside and up until someone responds with equal fervour I don't feel like bringing that side out. While I am passionate, I am also sensitive and would not mind accepting a mistake or two. This entirety of persona is not coming out properly. I am not very much interested in creating a mystery. To know people personally might help in feeling easier on internet forums. This does not mean how they look like but rather how they feel about themselves. And life. And literature. I am pretty sure that every person out here on Lit-Net is a universe in himself/herself. But only minor bits and pieces of those vast spaces are available.

Cyberspace identity for me is an undeveloped avenue for me. I felt some similarity with Mutatis Mutandis when he/she agreed with how Dark Muse described a cyberspace persona. Sometimes I imagine people. Actually I imagine people on internet forums quite dramatically all the time. Then there is the sarcastic nerve in me that I am keeping a tight leash on. I won't mind getting banned from the website but to cause animosity is something I will not do up until I will have a few friends. This might take an eternity at this place. :P

I am exploring. It is a fun thing to be here. I am beginning to become more open and eloquent. Thanks people for responding to whatever I have posted till date. It has meant a lot.

kiki1982
06-02-2012, 05:50 PM
I think, yes, people can take on other identities. Not always in a bad way.

I think the catch is Facebook, LinkedIn etc. I don't think many people feel different when approaching people on those networks than when they approach other on anonymous ones like here. The difference is that Facebook is your real identity (that's why I choose not to go on there), so be careful what you say, because everybody knows it's you. With ever more employers caring about what you say (although what does it say about me that I am not on there, I wonder?), it's dangerous to just blurt anything and everything out.

I personally also have another identity. I namely come across as knowledgable, I am told. :D I am sure most of my friends and family would not recognise me. Partly because the subjects I enjoy, they don't enjoy.
On the other hand, I have a friend whose nickname I know (I don't think she knows that I know; I am happy to keep it that way) and have been really shocked about the things she says and thinks. Interestingly enough, she says the total opposite in real life.

Verbose, there you say something ;).

Declan
06-02-2012, 06:09 PM
No, you don't come across as knowledgeable. You come across as ignorant. Your last sentence there is totally incoherent, expresses no meaning. And you're no friend to that woman or man with the nickname; you're smugly spying on them. If you've two identitites, one hidden from friends and family, that says a lot about you. If that's not what you're saying, then your're expressing yourself terribly.

IntravenousJava
06-02-2012, 06:47 PM
I spent most of my youth, and some of my adulthood trying to anticipate what sort of characteristics would be most appealing to others. Even when I anticipated accurately and projected successfully, I found it too stressful to maintain whatever pseudo-selves I had manufactured to "meet friends and influence people." More importantly, the friends and contacts I made in this manner were ultimately unsatisfying as they more often than not turned out to be myopic and shallow.

Consequently, I try to be an all-too-open book in cyberspace. By allowing people I "meet" online to see my best and worst, only those who are willing to take the bad with the good will apply, generally leading to more productive discourse in the end. After all, I wouldn't be here (in this forum) if I could find sufficient victims in my daily life who were willing to endure my endless ramblings about philosophy, literature, and life.

Mutatis-Mutandis
06-02-2012, 06:59 PM
One of the biggest things with me on the Internet, is I often like to create a certain aura of mystery about myself. I do like being something of an unknown. I do not care much for mundane chit chat and on the forums I belong to I usually avoid the more social aspects of it. As for example here on lit net, I really don't post in the General discussion threads but once in a blue moon if some topic particularly catches my eye. I stick mainly to the threads that deal with literature.

And when people ask me basic questions about my name, age, location, and such, I usually will give evasive answers, and not because I am self-conscious or paranoid about people knowing these things, but because these sort of details do not interest me. I do not feel like knowing these things tells anyone anything about me.

Some people prefer to know the face behind the name, and I myself enjoy being a disembodied presence online, nor do I feel any real curiosity or need to know what the people whom I speak to look like.

I am more interested in the intellectual engagement than in the physicality of the person.
So . . . doesn't that picture you posted of yourself in your profile kind o clash with all this?

Well, the internet in China (the country with the most internet users) used to be the place where anonymous rich kids would go on to complain about everything and pretend to be political. The Government got smart, and made it the law to officially register with your Chinese ID Card to go onto public computers, or to be a member of major social sites. The result, nobody publishes their pseudo-political complaints anymore.
Sarcasm?

No, you don't come across as knowledgeable. You come across as ignorant. Your last sentence there is totally incoherent, expresses no meaning. And you're no friend to that woman or man with the nickname; you're smugly spying on them. If you've two identitites, one hidden from friends and family, that says a lot about you. If that's not what you're saying, then your're expressing yourself terribly.
You may want to clarify who you're referring to, because I assume it isn't Kiki.

Paulclem
06-02-2012, 07:23 PM
I don't think there's any mystery to being different on the forum. In the real we are different to lots of different people such as between our parents and our friends. We all act various roles each day according to who we are playing at the time - parent, boss, employee, service user, customer, activitst, clown etc.

I myself try to be charming, urbane, well informed and knowledgeable here. It is easy with Wikipedia at my fingertips and with many miles between me and you people on the forum who may want to slap me.:biggrin5:

kiki1982
06-03-2012, 05:05 AM
I myself try to be charming, urbane, well informed and knowledgeable here. It is easy with Wikipedia at my fingertips and with many miles between me and you people on the forum who may want to slap me.:biggrin5:

:lol: Yeeeeehes, Wikipedia is a great help. :D


You may want to clarify who you're referring to, because I assume it isn't Kiki.

You bet it is. Sorry to disappoint you. Just look in the P&P thread. The comments in the Emma-thread have been deleted already.

aliengirl
06-03-2012, 07:18 AM
I don't think there's any mystery to being different on the forum. In the real we are different to lots of different people such as between our parents and our friends. We all act various roles each day according to who we are playing at the time - parent, boss, employee, service user, customer, activist, clown etc.


I know that some people really create a cyberspace persona but I don't think it is different from normal human behavior. As Paulclem said each of us play different roles in our daily lives. It is easier to realize this if you are in the teaching profession.Perhaps most people find it easier to adopt a drastically different personality on the internet because doing so in real life would be embarrassing or it would need too much explanation.

Personally I'm less hostile or inclined to get into an argument on the internet. In "real" life my family and friends acknowledge me as a passionate speaker on various social issues. But here I mostly keep to threads that interest me or which could contribute to my literary knowledge. In other words, I use this space to talk to like-minded people. Also as the posts come in written form there is more time to read and reflect. So my responses are more carefully phrased and moderated than they may be in face to face talk.

Mutatis-Mutandis
06-03-2012, 09:16 AM
:lol: Yeeeeehes, Wikipedia is a great help. :D



You bet it is. Sorry to disappoint you. Just look in the P&P thread. The comments in the Emma-thread have been deleted already.
Well, he's banned now. I don't even know what he was talking about.

Edit: Unfortunately, he's back under the ever creative name of "Twitter."

I don't think there's any mystery to being different on the forum. In the real we are different to lots of different people such as between our parents and our friends. We all act various roles each day according to who we are playing at the time - parent, boss, employee, service user, customer, activitst, clown etc.

I myself try to be charming, urbane, well informed and knowledgeable here. It is easy with Wikipedia at my fingertips and with many miles between me and you people on the forum who may want to slap me.:biggrin5:

That's a good point. We all act different roles for different people. I think the role we act on the Internet can be more severe, though.

kiki1982
06-03-2012, 12:57 PM
Well, he's banned now. I don't even know what he was talking about.

Edit: Unfortunately, he's back under the ever creative name of "Twitter."


That's a good point. We all act different roles for different people. I think the role we act on the Internet can be more severe, though.

Nor did I ;). And he has been back briefly uder jmj10 or something, but I gather those comments have been deleted as well, in the mean time.

I think indeed, the possibility of assuming a completely different identity on the net is easier than in real life.

Dark Muse
06-03-2012, 01:09 PM
So . . . doesn't that picture you posted of yourself in your profile kind o clash with all this?i.

There is an exception to every rule, and yes I can be self-contradictory at times. Sometimes the whim does come upon me to diverge from my usual preferences and intentions.

It all depends upon my mood.

Paulclem
06-03-2012, 03:36 PM
Well, he's banned now. I don't even know what he was talking about.

Edit: Unfortunately, he's back under the ever creative name of "Twitter."



We should decide on a name for him instead of him exhausting his creativity like this. He could focus upon coherency instead then.

JuniperWoolf
06-04-2012, 02:48 AM
A Jane Austen cyber bully. That. Is hilarious.

mona amon
06-04-2012, 04:11 AM
I think, yes, people can take on other identities. Not always in a bad way.

...[cut]...I personally also have another identity.

What, here on Litnet??? :goof:


A Jane Austen cyber bully. That. Is hilarious.

It was pretty funny, come to think of it. Jane Austen would have approved. :D

As for creating a persona on the internet that's different from your real life one - I'd love to project myself as this really cool, witty person, but soon discovered it wasn't as easy as it looks. ;)