The old lady and the robin

[whitman]

Asleep the robin saves his song the moon waits
observes the shaking breast and he listens
to the music in a dream that creates
the morning hymn as last moonlight glistens
an old lady hungry for some music feeds
one hungry bird and he sings for brown bread
tears fall from brown eyes one little bird leads
to memories that soothe his breast of red
shadows sing and memories on the wing
leave an old lady, as one bird tires, moon comes
and listens to music in two dreams swing
the robin opens his wings, distant moon hums
The little bird waits for his winter treat
his friend passed away her song is complete.

[tailor STATELY]

Very impressive to my tender sensibilities.


The old lady and the robin
Asleep the robin saves his song the moon waits
observes the shaking breast and he listens
to the music in a dream that creates
the morning hymn as last moonlight glistens
an old lady hungry for some music feeds
one hungry bird and he sings for brown bread
tears fall from brown eyes one little bird leads
to memories that soothe his breast of red
shadows sing and memories on the wing
leave an old lady, as one bird tires, moon comes
and listens to music in two dreams swing
the robin opens his wings, distant moon hums
The little bird waits for his winter treat
his friend passed away her song is complete.

One dream, then two, the moon is privy to; and the passing of an old friend in the winter of her years so very sweet and moving - the robin left bereft of food and friend.

Your poem might improve with some punctuation, but that is very minor.

My favorite part:
he listens
to the music in a dream that creates
the morning hymn as last moonlight glistens... enchanting.

Sincerely.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY