Biggus
05-25-2012, 03:40 AM
SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 12
Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working as an elocutionist
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the clients
When it says Enunciate, Enunciate
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SICK
You have just been sick
And not just a bit
So stop pretending
And spare me the wit
It isn’t just a hiccup
With some pizza in it
BLOODY MINDEDNESS # 1
I stay in the relationship
Even though it’s crappy
Because with someone else
She might turn out to be happy
PRISONERS ARE SUCH A NUISANCE
Prisoners are such a nuisance
When they are justly contained
Because of human rights
We can’t keep them restrained
And it’s so labour intensive
To keep them all entertained
WORKING IN A SWEAT SHOP
Working in a sweat shop
Is, dawn to dusk, sew-sew
Conditions are appalling
And never thought so-so
I DON’T GO ON TWITTER
I don’t go on Twitter
To follow celebrity chatter
I find them contemptible
They should rename it Twatter
CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICKEN.
Chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken,
Lay a little egg for me.
Chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken,
I want one for my tea
And this time if I don’t get one.
You’ll be dead by half past three.
So, chick, chick, chick, chicken,
They’ll be chicken for my tea
CALL CENTER MODE
One day Bimbette was having trouble
With her computer,
So she decided to try the call center
At a time that would suit her
"Hello how can I help you?"
The tech support guy asks
She replied, “I can’t get my computer
To do even the simplest tasks"
"Do you have any windows open?"
The tech support guy asks her
"Are you mad? Its mid December
And I’m calling from Alaska”
WHAT DO YOU CALL?
What do you call?
The first asylum seeker to appear
From his hiding place
Obviously it’s Amir
What do you call?
The second one, come to dwell
To have a better life
His name’s Amir Azwel!
What do you call?
The third man lithe of limb
Immerging from the truck
Amir Azwel Azim!
A MEDICAL MIRACLE
The alphabet of doom
(I’m)
Arthritic,
Bronchial,
Calloused,
(And)
Decaying,
Exitial,
Flatulent,
Gaseous,
(And)
Haemorrhoidal,
Incontinent,
Jaundiced,
Knackered,
Liver spotted,
(And)
Myopic,
Neuralgic,
Overdue,
Preoperative,
(And)
Queasy,
Rheumatic,
Shaky,
Tremulous,
Unviable,
(And)
Viral,
(A)
Worrywart,
Xanthochroic,
Yellow
(And)
Zeroed
(And that’s on a good day)
Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working as an elocutionist
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the clients
When it says Enunciate, Enunciate
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SICK
You have just been sick
And not just a bit
So stop pretending
And spare me the wit
It isn’t just a hiccup
With some pizza in it
BLOODY MINDEDNESS # 1
I stay in the relationship
Even though it’s crappy
Because with someone else
She might turn out to be happy
PRISONERS ARE SUCH A NUISANCE
Prisoners are such a nuisance
When they are justly contained
Because of human rights
We can’t keep them restrained
And it’s so labour intensive
To keep them all entertained
WORKING IN A SWEAT SHOP
Working in a sweat shop
Is, dawn to dusk, sew-sew
Conditions are appalling
And never thought so-so
I DON’T GO ON TWITTER
I don’t go on Twitter
To follow celebrity chatter
I find them contemptible
They should rename it Twatter
CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICK, CHICKEN.
Chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken,
Lay a little egg for me.
Chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken,
I want one for my tea
And this time if I don’t get one.
You’ll be dead by half past three.
So, chick, chick, chick, chicken,
They’ll be chicken for my tea
CALL CENTER MODE
One day Bimbette was having trouble
With her computer,
So she decided to try the call center
At a time that would suit her
"Hello how can I help you?"
The tech support guy asks
She replied, “I can’t get my computer
To do even the simplest tasks"
"Do you have any windows open?"
The tech support guy asks her
"Are you mad? Its mid December
And I’m calling from Alaska”
WHAT DO YOU CALL?
What do you call?
The first asylum seeker to appear
From his hiding place
Obviously it’s Amir
What do you call?
The second one, come to dwell
To have a better life
His name’s Amir Azwel!
What do you call?
The third man lithe of limb
Immerging from the truck
Amir Azwel Azim!
A MEDICAL MIRACLE
The alphabet of doom
(I’m)
Arthritic,
Bronchial,
Calloused,
(And)
Decaying,
Exitial,
Flatulent,
Gaseous,
(And)
Haemorrhoidal,
Incontinent,
Jaundiced,
Knackered,
Liver spotted,
(And)
Myopic,
Neuralgic,
Overdue,
Preoperative,
(And)
Queasy,
Rheumatic,
Shaky,
Tremulous,
Unviable,
(And)
Viral,
(A)
Worrywart,
Xanthochroic,
Yellow
(And)
Zeroed
(And that’s on a good day)