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Hawkman
05-24-2012, 09:27 AM
Not a word was writ
to the funeral tick
of the death-watch in the rafters
for upon the desk
was the page that he’d left
while enjoying a plate of afters.

A couple of seals
he’d scoffed for his meal,
their meat had been fresh and tasty;
but his stomach had swelled
and he felt quite unwell,
then he knew that he’d been too hasty.

It’s a terrible sin
to put food in the bin,
a lesson he’d learned from his daddy,
only shortly before
his pa fell to the floor,
on a golf course in front of his caddy.

It took seventy men
to lift him again,
the hearse was a chieftain tank;
the grave was so big
they’d called him a pig,
but he’d only himself to thank.

When appetite drives
we dice with our lives,
of this you can be quite certain,
the gaining of weight
from clearing your plate
only leads to the final curtain.

It’s a terrible shame
when an author’s to blame
for his death due to over-eating,
and it gets pretty dire
when the body expired
then explodes ‘cause of central heating.

No more will he write
of the gourmet chef’s plight
or describe how the menu unfolds,
the novelty ceasing
and safely releasing
his fans who'll survive to grow old.

Jack of Hearts
05-24-2012, 02:42 PM
Hey weight's off limits! This reader has been trying to get to 15 percent body fat for like two months now but this stubborn 7lbs won't go away.

Aside from that, no complaints. A half-smirk well spent on a Hawk dropping ;-)





J

AuntShecky
05-24-2012, 04:27 PM
Oh yeah-- the old, old joke about digging one's grave with a knife and fork--
getting to the point of a pandemic here in the gold old U. S. of A.

I admire your deft use of meter and rhyme, sort of a modified limerick stanza
right? Perfect for humorous themes, a la my new "fave," Lewis Carroll, aka
Charles Dodgson.

Hawkman
05-24-2012, 06:36 PM
Hi Auntie,

Not so much a modified Limerick but more a variation of the music hall comic monologue, with an echo of Robert Servis. :) Glad you find the scheme fit for purpose.

Live and be well - H

Hawkman
05-25-2012, 05:06 AM
Jack: Sorry, old boy, I didn't mean to slight you, I am merely guilty of the sin of blindess and poor concentration :frown2:

By the way, hawk droppings are called mutes :D Feel free to indulge whenever you please - lol. (you may need a spoon) Rest assured that this author spends far too much time in front of his own computer and is consequently getting paunchy, even though he's not a huge eater.

Thanks for reading anyway and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Live and be well - H

lallison
05-25-2012, 05:34 AM
Hi Hawk, just poped by to read your latest. My favorite line:

When appetite drives
we dice with our lives,
of this you can be quite certain,
the gaining of weight
from clearing your plate
only leads to the final curtain.

Same old humor and wit. Best-

Hawkman
05-25-2012, 05:38 AM
Lallison, old fruit, what a jolly thing to see you flitting through in your cannoe, doubless propelled by an outboard jaguar engine :D Thanks for reading :cheers2:

Live and be well - H