Are you wearing? # 15

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING A SOMBRERO?

Are you wearing a sombrero?
Have you been somewhere in the sun?
I was told you were in Cahoots
I didn’t believe it for a second hon.
I told them you can’t go there alone
You have to be there with someone.

ARE YOU WEARING A PITH HELMET

Are you wearing a pith helmet?
Oh the great white hunter yet
But that’s just a pose you strike
Great white tin opener more like

ARE YOU WEARING SUNNIES?

Are you wearing sunnie’s?
Oh dear you do look funny
I almost didn’t recognize you honey

You’re spending the week incognito?
Oh how lovely I’ve always wanted to go
But no one recognizes you though

ARE YOU WEARING A SCARY SCOWL?

Are you wearing a scary scowl?
And now you’re doing the growl
Am I supposed to throw in the towel?

You evil troll you cause me no fear
Back to your bridge do you hear
Your powers are useless here


ARE YOU WEARING CRUSHED VELVET?

Are you wearing crushed velvet?
Our curtains are a similar shade of anisette
I would like to be amidst the folds of velvet
Could I have a peak beneath the pelmet?

ARE YOU WEARING A GRIN?

Are you wearing a grin?
Oh you’re playing stupid agin
And why not you do always win

ARE YOU WEARING FRUIT?

Are you wearing fruit?
It doesn’t really suit
And there is a lesson
In there though my son
Never let 3 year old Joe?
Hold a ripe tomato

ARE YOU WEARING A SHORTY NIGHTIE?

Are you wearing a Shorty nightie?
No you don’t look at all flighty
You’re my goddess of love Aphrodite
And my desire for you is mighty
So lay back and think of blighty

ARE YOU WEARING A TEN GALLON HAT?

Are you wearing a ten gallon hat?
Well no there’s nothing wrong with that
And after all it does have to be said
You do have a ten gallon head

ARE YOU WEARING A CONDOM?

Are you wearing a condom?
At your age you really have no hope
Sex at ninety six will be like
Trying to shoot pool with a rope