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cacian
05-17-2012, 05:11 AM
to be someone
is possible
eventual
to be other
is tangible
acceptable
to want to have
is something
less inventual
but factual
with self deserved
emotional of rational
to own is to
identify terrestrial
from someone's
else matrial

around the globe
in 80 days
can be a treck
although one
could imagine what
it would be like
to be the one
that made the fun
of going round
insatiable

intensity comes with
city where
people move in versity
life has anything
from fast to slow
witty and pro
to seek a voice
in time of
sheer austerity
is savity
challenges are
in things that brew
minds to levies
of curious stability
an intellect
capable of
turning
worlds into
a stroll of
ethereal eternity

AuntShecky
05-24-2012, 03:13 PM
In my indisputably humble opinion, I believe this one should lose some of the
abstractions and replace them with solid, concrete images. Also, check your spelling: "tangible," "trek." What is "savity"?

cacian
05-25-2012, 05:53 AM
In my indisputably humble opinion, I believe this one should lose some of the
abstractions and replace them with solid, concrete images. Also, check your spelling: "tangible," "trek." What is "savity"?

Hi AuntShecky 'savity' from 'savoir' or 'savvy'.
Thank you for the feedback and reading.