Inigo Montoya's Villanelle

[MorpheusSandman]

For anyone who doesn't know, Inigo Montoya is a character in the book/film The Princess Bride, and this is mostly based on a scene in the film where he duels with the Man in Black (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIc96jVFdDY&feature=related) (Only thing I hate is that I couldn't work in my favorite quote in the whole film... maybe that's for another attempt).

My name’s Inigo, you killed my father, prepare to die.
Or maybe not, and I’ll keep searching for the man.
I must admit, you’re better with a sword than I.

I do agree we men of action shouldn’t lie,
so tell me if you have six fingers on your hand,
and if you do, you killed my father, prepare to die.

I will not kill you ‘til you reach the top, alive,
I swear upon my father’s soul, so understand
there’s no one you should better trust than I.

Yet I know something you don’t know, as I’ve belied
that I’m left-handed. You did too? There goes my plan!
But if you killed my father, you should prepare to die!

You seem a decent fellow; I hate to kill you. Why
are you dressed all in black? For me it all began
with that six-fingered man who was older than I.

There’s not much money in revenge, and all of my
attempts to find the man have failed. But I won’t stand
for him to live; he killed my father, so he should die!
And maybe with your help, we’ll have more luck than I!

[miyako73]

It sounds and reads childish like I'm watching a grown up man in a TV room rooting for an anime character and eating pop rocks-- too noisy.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I love the swish-swish-swish of the swordplay throughout this but I cannot claim to be able to translate it into plain, prosaic Hungarian.

[Charles Darnay]

Your poem as a Villanelle "I don't think it means what you think it means."

Your poem as an homage to Inigo: there's some great stuff here. Without having to resort to childish metaphors, I think you could tighten it up in spots.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

I liked it a lot. Perfectly captures the spirit of the film, particularly that scene.

This is one of those poems that one can't really comment on unless they understand the context--the poem won't work at all if you haven't seen the movie.

[miyako73]

Of course, you've seen the movie Mutate like Morph.

[Silas Thorne]

Great fun, and a good attempt at the villanelle's style. I also think this is a good homage to the film 'The Princess Bride' and to this character in the film. Anyone who hasn't watched the movie, might be pleasantly entertained by it, and will definitely get more out of this poem.
I think this starts strong, and loses its power somewhat towards the end. About the villanelle form, it is a little loose, but it actually reminds me of the loose style of the villanelle Hayden Carruth wrote, entitled 'Saturday at the border'. I don't think there was a fixed form for a villanelle in its early history anyway. I actually think though that due to the constant repetition of 'My name is Inigo Monteya...., prepare to die' in the movie (if I remember correctly), it may be possible to do a strict formal villanelle with this material.

[Delta40]

Never seen the movie but your meter is just fine Morph! lol. I did get sick of every rhyme ending with the I sound though. It became rather repetitive for me. Just out of interest, are there any examples of poetry which rely on a single rhyme throughout each stanza? I figure you're the best person to ask.

[MorpheusSandman]

Prince: As others have said, one must really have seen the film to get the reference. It's mostly contained within a single scene, slightly reworded and reordered. Most of the scene can be seen here. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIc96jVFdDY&feature=related) The movie is highly recommended viewing regardless.

Charles: Personally, I'm not a fan of fixed refrains in villanelles, so I take liberties modifying them. I agree it needs cleaning up; any ideas?

Mutatis: Thanks.

Silas: I'll second your recommendation of the film (obviously). I'm a voracious cinephile (something like 6000 films seen so far) and The Princess Bride is in my Top 50. One of the few films I never tire of seeing (or quoting).

I agree with you that the last few stanzas are flawed. What you point out about that phrase (...you killed my father...) being repeated so much is why I thought it would be perfect for a villanelle. The problem is, though, that if you want to use the quote in the same way every time then you must jump around through different parts of the film, and how does one make that transition? Since most of my favorite quotes are in that duel scene, I decided to limit the piece to that, but that created its own problem about maintaining any order of the events with the refrains. So it became impossible to include the duel between Inigo and the actual villain... plus, there's not nearly as much talking in that scene, anyway, so how to maintain it across 6 stanzas?

So, it's actually more of a challenge to work it into a villanelle than I initially thought, and that's not even considering finding another refrain to accompany and compliment it. If you have any ideas about how to better it, I'd be much appreciative.

Delta: In my response to Prince I linked to the scene on Youtube from which most of the piece is taken from. Actually, there are two rhyme sounds in this villanelle: the long I and the short AN, but that's the nature of villanelles; they're innately repetitive (both in the rhymes and refrains).

I don't know of any forms that utilize only a single rhyme throughout. Usually, two is the minimum, such as in villanelles and Rondeaus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rondeau_%28poetry%29). Forms like Rondeaus and ballades (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballade) are very difficult to write in English because there just aren't as many rhymes as in, say, Italian or French. The villanelle is a bit easier if only because the refrains take up 8 of the 19 lines.

[qimissung]

I adore that movie, and that final scene where he is fighting the six-fingered man is one of my very favorites in all of cinema.

I realize you are writing about the scene where he is fighting the man in black, before they know who he is, and I personally, find this a very charming rendition of that. Poetry is meant to evolve, and I see nothing wrong with a "loose" version of the villanelle. I wrote one once, and they are a @#*$#* to write.

So, well done, Morpheous!

[Charles Darnay]

Poetry is meant to evolve, and I see nothing wrong with a "loose" version of the villanelle.


I agree with you on this. Morpheus just left himself open to a Inigo-style jab that I couldn't resist.

[Bar22do]

The Princess Bride, MS! a classic! and your villanelle is an excellent rendition of the scene. I too could "hear" the sword!
I tried myself at a villanelle here and there, with such a poor result that it ended up in a trash, so my admiration goes to your achievement unreserved!

[MorpheusSandman]

Qimi: I currently have TPB as #48 on my Top 300, right behind Distant Voices, Still Lives; and just ahead of Star Wars. So that's how much I think of it, personally. I'm glad you read and liked this little tribute to it.

Charles: :D No harm done! That bit you quoted is actually my favorite quote in the film that I couldn't work into this.

Bar: Thanks so much! :)

[Jassy Melson]

A villanelle, like a sonnet, is a strict poetic form. Your poem is not a villanelle.

[miyako73]

It is a villanelle to him because there are five tercets and one quatrain. Content does not matter to him. He needs to browse "The Making of a Poem" to find out if villanelle is conversational or has a story. He should check "One Art" by Elizabeth Bishop to get the idea how villanelle works.

[MorpheusSandman]

It is a villanelle to him because there are five tercets and one quatrain. Content does not matter to him. He needs to browse "The Making of a Poem" to find out if villanelle is conversational or has a story. He should check "One Art" by Elizabeth Bishop to get the idea how villanelle works.The villanelle is determined by form--the rhyme scheme and refrain pattern. That's it. I don't buy the notion that a villanelle can't tell a story or have a conversational tone, and The Making of a Poem is the only book I've read that (futilely) attempted to define it by content. If the pattern is this:

A1
b
A2

a
b
A1

a
b
A2

a
b
A1

a
b
A2

a
b
A1
A2

then it's a villanelle.


A villanelle, like a sonnet, is a strict poetic form.And there have been variations on both going back hundreds of years. I'm hardly the first to vary the refrain, (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/one-art/) or to use half-rhymes (http://www.tfl.gov.uk/tfl/corporate/projectsandschemes/artmusicdesign/poems/poem.asp?ID=136).

[Jack of Hearts]

Well, this reader will tell you one thing. It's definitely not a haiku.






J

[miyako73]

If you want to be strictly true to form, maybe this will help.

From the originator of Villanelle:

Villanelle

Jean Passerat (1534–†1602)


J’AI perdu ma tourterelle;
Est-ce point celle que j’oy?
Je veux aller après elle.

Tu regrettes ta femelle,
Hélas! aussi fais-je moy.
J’ai perdu ma tourterelle.

Si ton amour est fidelle,
Aussi est ferme ma foy;
Je veux aller après elle.

Ta plainte se renouvelle,
Toujours plaindre je me doy;
J’ai perdu ma tourterelle.

En ne voyant plus la belle,
Plus rien de beau je ne voy;
Je veux aller après elle.

Mort, que tant de fois j’appelle,
Prends ce qui se donne à toy!
J’ai perdu ma tourterelle;
Je veux aller après elle.

I don't understand French, but I can see its form. Yours is not the same.

If you want English, American, pentameter (somewhat), and more recent, let's summon Sylvia Plath. Also check the content.

Mad Girl's Love Song

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary darkness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said.
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

--Sylvia Plath

[Jack of Hearts]

Oh, leave him alone about it.





J

[qimissung]

R e m i n d e r

Please refrain from posting in this section of the Forum

if you feel you are unable to show respect towards those who do not share your thoughts and beliefs.

Posts containing personal and/or inflammatory comments will be removed without further warning.

[MorpheusSandman]

I don't understand French, but I can see its form. Yours is not the same.The only difference between that and mine is:

1. I vary the refrain (Bishop's One Art does this)
2. I use half-rhymes (Roethke's The Waking does this)


If you want English, American, pentameter (somewhat), and more recent, let's summon Sylvia Plath. Also check the content.I posted two recent villanelles that make changes to the form that I made. Content doesn't matter.

[Jassy Melson]

I can see it all now: someone will write a 100-line poem and call it a villanelle. Any criticism will be met with the statement: The writer thinks it's a villanelle to him, therefore it's a villanelle. The fact is there are strict poetic forms. They allow no diviation. But I can see the day coming when there will be no poetic forms. Poetry will be totally free verse. When that day comes, the nadir of poetry will be reached.

[Twota]

haahaa, I love it, reads funny. :D

[MorpheusSandman]

The fact is there are strict poetic forms. They allow no diviation. I already linked to two poems that are frequently featured in anthologies under the label of "villanelles" and have the same variations mine has. It's fine saying a villanelle or a sonnet is a "fixed form," but what I'm missing is for someone here to actually describe what that fixed form is and how mine doesn't fit that description. So far, all I've seen is a lot of people saying it doesn't (without saying how) and links posted to other villanelles that, ironically, utilize variations themselves.

[Jassy Melson]

A villanelle contains six stanzas, the first five contain three lines and the last stanza four lines. The same number of syllables are in every line; i.e., one line cannot contain eight syllables and the next line six. The rhyme scheme is a b a for every line, except for the last stanza which is a b a a. Any deviation from this makes the poem not a villanelle.

[Jassy Melson]

Do not go gentle into that good night
by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn to late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[PrinceMyshkin]

A villanelle contains six stanzas, the first five contain three lines and the last stanza four lines. The same number of syllables are in every line; i.e., one line cannot contain eight syllables and the next line six. The rhyme scheme is a b a for every line, except for the last stanza which is a b a a. Any deviation from this makes the poem not a villanelle.

It seems to me to be a disservice to this poem (and by implication to every poem that employs an approximation of a given form) to point out its deviations from strict adherence to the form, without mentioning the many ingenuities in it, the wit and the invention.

[Jassy Melson]

One more note about the form of the villanelle:
The first, sixth, twelfth and eighteenth lines are all the same line; the third, ninth, fifteenth and nineteenth lines are all the same line.

[Jack of Hearts]

Just wanted to revisit this poem and say what an entertaining and worthy read it was.







J

[Jassy Melson]

Too bad it's not a villanelle, isn't it? The poet should change the title.

[MorpheusSandman]

The same number of syllables are in every line; i.e., one line cannot contain eight syllables and the next line six. Everything you posted about the villanelle is correct except for this. Edwin Arlington Robinson's The House on the Hill (http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16153) does not have the same number of syllables in each line. The reason most (English, at least) villanelle's DO have the same syllabic count is because they're written in iambic pentameter, tetrameter, or trimeter. Accentual syllabic verse requires the same number of syllables and the same rhythm of stresses in each lines. But there's no law that says a villanelle can't be written in accentual or syllabic meter. Do Not Go Gentle, afterall, is only a decasyllabic verse, and not iambic pentatmer, while mine is hexameter verse. In this case, the accentual meter was forced on me because of the phrase in the film itself. There's no way to turn "My name's Inigo, you killed my father, prepare to die" into a decasyllabic line without compromising the phrase itself, but it works just fine as accentual hexameter (free 6 beats).


The first, sixth, twelfth and eighteenth lines are all the same line; the third, ninth, fifteenth and nineteenth lines are all the same line.Those lines are called "the refrain," and "refrain" merely means that something about them is repeated. There have been plenty of villanelles written where the refrain varies in some way (I already linked to Bishop's One Art).


Just wanted to revisit this poem and say what an entertaining and worthy read it was.Thank you, Jack. :)