Are you wearing? # 12

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING MOURNING WEAR?

Are you wearing mourning wear?
I’m sorry, you are the grieving wife?
I here you’re not a very merry widow
So did you drive him to take his own life?

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK ATTIRE?

Are you wearing black attire?
I must tell you it rather lights my fire
I’m sorry, you are the grieving wife?
I must apologize for my desire
Oh you are a very merry widow?
Then let’s release you from that attire

ARE YOU WEARING DENIM DUNGAREES?

Are you wearing denim dungarees?
Even for a Feminist its a little lack lustre
And for someone as er.. Voluptuous as you
You do come across as a fat ball buster

ARE YOU WEARING A MUDPACK?

Are you wearing a mudpack?
I’m sorry I don’t mean to scoff
I’m sure it makes you more attractive
Right up until you take it off

ARE YOU WEARING A SPORRAN?

Are you wearing a sporran?
Wow that really is a beut
It’s an unusual choice though
A sporran with a safari suit

ARE YOU WEARING A CODPIECE?

Are you wearing a codpiece?
No, no you don’t look like a wally
And when it stops raining you’ll have
Somewhere to hang your brolley

ARE YOU WEARING A TIARA?

Are you wearing a tiara?
Sparkling with jewels no less
Oh sweet little Essex girl
Daddies little princess

ARE YOU WEARING CHEESE CLOTH?

Are you wearing cheese cloth?
Oh and you have the sandals there
It’s a very nostalgic look, very New-Age
And you have the excessive body hair

ARE YOU WEARING A FACE PACK?

Are you wearing a face pack?
Hello it is you under there?
I know how to check, I’ll cop a feel
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare
That was quite a hand full
So that’s not my wife under there

ARE YOU WEARING A RED WIG?

Are you wearing a red wig?
I know you’re not a natural Redhead
So if that’s not an ill-fitting wig
It’s a very bad dye-job instead