Traumas Of Epilepsy - True Life Story

[Weevie]

Note: I had surgery in 2004 to remove scar tissue which caused me to suffer from epilepsy. The surgery worked but left me very confused which lasted until after I wrote this story in 2008. I then felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders and have to say for the first few months after writing it I still felt a bit shaken and confused. I recently read it back and I know that I must have been very disturbed. I have since put the years of epilepsy behind me and feel like I am able to share my experience.

TRAUMAS OF EPILEPSY

NOTE: I have never studied or researched any of the experiences I refer too here. These are just things I have written down as they have come back to me over a period of about a Week and most refer to childhood experiences. However any physical pains I have included are real. You can read into the rest however you feel. Part of me says that it is definitely real and the rest of me learnt to live with it.

The Experience
Chapter 1
When I was about 18 months old I had a whooping cough injection which went wrong and left me suffering from Epilepsy which I have been fighting ever since and up until I was Thirty-Eight years old (2004) when I had an operation on my Brain to remove the scar tissue that originally caused me too seizure I had an average of about 4 Seizures per week.

In the early years I was just having what would be called a normal Pattie-Mal Epileptic seizure but when I got to about 6 years old I went into what is known as Status-Epilepticus. I went into a seizure which I was half aware of what was going and the other half I had my head in the clouds I can remember flashing lights going on and off in my mind and me saying “Here I go I am a worm and then next my mind was saying “No you are not you are a dinosaur.”

This continued for what seemed to my mind like Centuries then the feeling of been a worm changed into a jellyfish and back to been a dinosaur and then it progressed until I was a monkey then a dinosaur and then the feeling of Dinosaur went and was replaced by noise what sounded like people talking but I did not recognise any of the voices. The monkey feeling turned into a code going through my mind but I could not read this code. The code went and I looked out in front of me and heard my Mother and Father talking suddenly I could see them again they put there arms around me “Come on you will be alright” they said. My focus then my thoughts and feelings came back too me my head was pounding and my body stiff and aching.

Over the next two years these episodes continued and the more I had, the better I got at snapping out of them and became more aware of things that where going on around me. The flashing in my mind turned into a visible code and the feeling of been a worm turned into what felt like just a sharp prick in my mind. It got too the point where I was no longer frightened of that feeling appearing in my head I had found a way of controlling my thoughts and started to become more aware of what these thoughts meant. The voices around me starting leading me through my mind telling me not to look at the code and throw it behind you and don’t look back I learnt too do this very well and very quickly. It would appear about once a fortnight and I could get it out of my mind very quickly using this technique and never had a seizure for about 2 years.

THAT IS WHEN IT HAPPENED

My mind travelled through the code as normal but this time it forgot to throw the code backwards. The voices in my mind became clearer on the one side something was screaming “Give me that code back it is mine!!” but the other side of my mind was saying that it felt better if it kept it. “Give me it back!!” it thundered “You don’t seem too realise who I am and what I am capable of!!” My mind was getting stronger but it felt like it was bouncing but the important thing though was it was not frightened of the code and instead of throwing it away it took it deeper and deeper into the mind.

My mind had opened up and it felt like I could get in touch with the whole of my brain but there was still one side of it arguing between itself. The other side thought that it would take a look at what was going on and it could here voices saying
“Look there is someone here who has broken the atmosphere and should be DEAD!! If it stays like this others could follow and then well I don’t know what will happen.”
The trouble was even though I could hear both sides of the argument neither side could see or hear me and a search started by everything in my body. I knew that if I got caught I was dead and did not know what to do. Then I found somewhere in my Brain where neither of them could get to me I called it Jupiter but did not have a clue where I was just that I was safe.

I wanted to know what the code said but every time I got near it the screaming started again I stayed and listened and soon came to the conclusion that it was God having an Argument with the Devil who was hidden behind my heartbeat.

I was stuck between two Worlds. The Devil on one side was saying if this happens again the World as it was could change forever and that cannot happen because there would be a population boom and someone had to keep the situation under control. God said that his claims where totally unfounded and that there was not even a suggestion that this person even existed. I was frightened and didn’t know what too do I tried lots of things and got the same feeling going on around me that always went on whilst the code was there so instead of following it the way I always did I went the other way. The same feeling went through me that was there when I went from dinosaur to worm but this time it was only very weak. I followed the feeling everywhere around my body until I got back to my heartbeat then bang I was boomed around my body and went in search of that feeling of dinosaur again. I found it in a nerve in my foot the nerve moved I could feel the heart beat faster and threw myself at the nerve it moved and the heartbeat calmed again. I flew around my body and ended up back in the same part of my mind that I was before but I felt stronger now. I could hear screaming “What the hell happened?” “One of the nerves in his foot has just died the heart beat is calm again he will come out the seizure soon.”

I looked around me I was in hospital again with my Mother and Father in front of me. I was totally unaware of what had happened and got discharged from hospital a couple of days later.

[Weevie]

CHAPTER 2
My seizures suddenly changed I started having more of a Grand Mal Seizure and still did not remember anything that happened in the seizure this stage of my life lasted about 2 years. Then one day I stumbled on the code again but I did not look at it or even be slightly frightened of it because I knew where it lead too and my mind opened up again this time however everything in the go between of the two worlds did not know, hear or see me. It had happened again. I became totally aware where the danger was between the two entities and managed to build a path between them both where nobody would even know what I was doing. This part of my mind soon found a way of studying what was going on in the mind when I was having a seizure. It was as if every time I had a seizure it was able to study how my heartbeat and how my nerves affected my thoughts.

Then one night when I was asleep I heard what I thought was the Devil saying to God “It has happened again!!” My unconscious thought to itself this can’t carry on there must be another way and felt that what it had to do was study how the heartbeat affected the nerves in the deeper in mind. On the outside I kept having seizures and got called “Fits” and all kinds of other things at school but all the time I knew something deeper was happening but I did not know what exactly. Then one night I had a complete outer body experience my unconscious mind was telling me that I needed to know something on the inside. It said that it had studied its own mind body and nerves for years now and if it digs at one of the nerves until it comes to life then I will feel a prick in my conscious mind or body but if it then smacks the heartbeat hard enough it can get rid of the pain and use the chemicals that the nerve produces to bring more of the Brain to life and as long as it is careful nothing else would know and that one nerve can teach the next nerve the same thing and you can bring your whole mind to life.

Soon my unconscious mind was able to do this in such a way that my conscious mind was able to sleep whilst it did it. And it told the conscious mind that it would get in touch with it again when it had all the evidence it needed. The conscious mind was worried that it would keep having seizures but the unconscious mind assured it that it wouldn’t.

I didn’t have a seizure for the next 2 years until the hospital thought that it would be wise to change my tablets. I had all kinds of seizures pettie-mal, grand-mal, status all kinds which lead me in and out of hospital and the pricks that I could feel going around my whole body just before I went into the seizures was awful. But there was still part of me that knew that there was a reason for these and to stay positive.

The next two years where a bit of a blur to me and I had all kinds of strange dreams none of which could be proven when I woke up but I knew to stay positive and was told that I would remember these dreams when the time was right.

They are really starting to come back to me now. I remember when my unconscious mind took my conscious mind to a place where it could see and hear everybody and everything but told me not too panic just listen to what was going on around me it said that it would teach me all the things that it dare about the human brain but did not dare teach me too much because I would be deemed a freak and something terrible would probably happen to me. First though you must just listen. I waited for it to say something else but it didn’t and then I heard the devil again screaming at god he said “This break in the atmosphere cannot keep happening I cannot keep control of this place with breaks in the atmosphere what ever possessed you too put these creatures on my planet is beyond me!!” Then I heard a voice screaming “Let me go! Let me go!! I don’t want to be here anymore.” My unconscious mind said that it could probably help her but dare not interfere with nature. The voice was gone and my unconscious mind said “Quickly follow me.”

I heard the woman’s voice clearly now and another voice consoling her “Come on dear you are free of that place now please go that way and find out what life should really be like I don’t know why he has too be that evil in the go between but I think it is because he knows he will lose control if I don’t catch you. It is a good job that it doesn’t happen often but you were the unfortunate one”. Then I heard the woman saying “But I cant see” the other voice said “Yes more and more people are complaining that they cant see nowadays but they soon get over it because what you loose when you loose your sight is replaced with what you need to survive here and I assure you that when you have learnt how to survive your sight will return” the Woman was gone. My unconscious mind told me that they thought that that was god.

My unconscious mind said that it had found a way to stop anybody getting caught in the go-between again but it needed me to communicate with god. To do this, god would need to think that I had just died. It said that it had been trying too think of a way of doing this for years and the only way of doing that was to lather me in the same chemicals that are around the nerves when they are completely relaxed which is generated at some point by every nerve when it reaches the gates of heaven and when the chemicals run out it could snatch me away and make me wake up from sleeping. It told me what usually happened when someone died was there heart would stop beating and the chemicals that went through the nerves at that time propelled the spirit way beyond that level to a higher been and then they never looked back but occasionally some peoples nerves did not generate enough chemicals to get them through the go-between and that was causing major problems.

I became very good friends with god so I asked him what he knew about the go-between. He said that “It was causing problems but he did not know why and yet there was a lot of people getting too him with problems with there vision in the world beyond here and it was taking them longer too get it back.” God did keep asking me why I had not moved on though I said that I was trapped and did not know what to do. He said “Just look up never look back”. So I did and I woke up from that particular dream in the morning in a seizure. The dreams continued and only now am I starting to recall them. The unconscious mind kept taking me back to the same place talking to god at gates of heaven, god seemed to be getting very bewildered by me keeping appearing but I only had limited knowledge of what was going on. It was as if my unconscious mind could dictate how much knowledge of each place in my mind I should have and it assured me that there was always a good reason for knowing some things but not others I was completely at one with it. I can now remember one particular night when I was talking to god and a woman was caught in the go-between. The devil was being his nasty self again so I said to god that there was another way although I didn’t quite know how, he said “Look try anything the last person that this happened to is still blind in the life beyond.” So I looked up and woke up again in the morning in a seizure. That night I went to sleep and ended up at the gates again and the same woman was waiting for me. She put her arms around me thanked me and said “Nobody has ever done that for anybody before and what’s more nobody appears to even know how you did it who are you?” I was bewildered I knew something had happened but I did not have a clue what. “Anyway I have been talking about your problem with god and I wondered whether I could help”.

This was exactly what my unconscious mind wanted (a live spirit that it could guard around the path that it had created) I remember holding her hand and looking up then I woke up after another dream in a seizure but again could not remember it but was assured that it would come back to me one day.

Night after night I went to bed and ended up in a place where all I did was dig with this spirit and my unconscious mind. The light came and we found exactly where we needed to smack to keep me asleep whilst still keeping light. We eventually built a path that the blood could pass around together with the chemicals needed to keep nerves alive but the trouble was as soon as the conscious mind went along the path and brought it too life it would gobble up the chemicals generated by nerves so fast that it could not survive for any length of time at that level and went back too sleep causing me to dream or seizure. This was what the unconscious mind needed to know and it told me that I needed too go back into my sleep whilst it went and did more research and it asked the spirit if instead of going back through the gates of heaven would it consider going off with it too do more tests on the nerves and mind. It knew that it was now at a level where it could do these tests without anyone knowing but the only problem was that it would probably cause me to have a seizure again but if I was prepared for that then it did not know what it might uncover.

[Weevie]

Chapter 3
Another two years passed and I kept having seizures but my spirit kept up then one night the biggest development happened. My unconscious mind took me to a place where there had been no code no pain getting there but instead of guiding me away from where the code had been it dropped me straight on top of it I got boomed right around the path that it had created. This kept happening until I settled down and was at one with myself. I could see and hear everything there was partying and all sorts of things. I was a bit confused but it said “Just stay there and listen and learn I have to do something” and it was gone. I turned around and there was the spirit that accompanied him at the gates of heaven she said “Hello again, don’t be frightened nobody will hurt you, they all want to meet you but first your unconscious mind needs to test things”.

“But I can’t see anything” I said. She said “Don’t worry as long as you can hear for now. Anyway what your unconscious now knows is that the code generated when your heartbeat collided with the central nerve in your brain can be used to unlock more nerves but if it gets to bold and takes it more than two nerves further down the path it has created, it cannot get back through the code and use it on the next nerve and therefore when the chemicals generated within that nerve are used by the mind it will collapse and cause it too initially look for the code and if it can’t find it then it will start to dream and ultimately have a seizure depending on how strong the nerve is. What it wants to know is at what level the brain is no longer reliant on this chemical because all of these spirits above you don’t need it and are frightened of the feeling because they will be caught in what could be termed as prison and are trapped. However if it takes you down this path then they can carry on along it and ultimately end up behind me talking too the spirits behind us in bliss. What it has done is lead you along that path whilst it initially sees how your conscious mind reacts too it and then sees how you respond and what I have to do is see how the spirits behind me respond to you. ”

I followed her and she shouted “Is anybody there?” then I heard a few people shout “Yeah we are in here having a great party do you want too come?” She said
“I want you to meet someone this is the person I have been telling you about say hello I said “Hello everybody.” But as I got closer I heard screaming “Get out of here it is not safe.” And the voices had gone. I was a bit shaken but my unconscious mind “Don’t worry we half expected that to happen didn’t we Pippa (that was the name my unconscious mind had taken to calling the spirit) anyway you are getting weak now and will soon seizure if we don’t get you back I will be back for you tomorrow night and take you along another path.”

I woke up and got up totally unaware of what had happened and didn’t even recall having a dream and I took off and went to school as normal. My unconscious mind was getting very good at doing this.

What seemed like the next night when I went to sleep (but I did not know for sure when it was), I was talking to my unconscious mind again and Pippa was there again it said “I want you to come this way,” so I followed it. It said that it had established that I could survive at the level where I was taken too when I tried to speak to the other spirits and that I could have lasted about 2 hours before the energy surrounding me ran out and now was the time to move up but instead of going through heaven I had too go with him. I went up the path that it had created and it followed behind me throwing the chemical that the code generated behind me and then it told me too just stay where I was. It came back to me in what seemed to be a short time afterwards when in fact I had been there for about six hours whilst my conscious slept. My unconscious mind was convinced that I was able to survive at this level without needing to be reliant on my heartbeat.

What it now needed to know was if Pippa could survive in the same place that I was for any length of time and was she prepared to try. She was and we spent night after night here talking and then when I went back to wake up in the morning she said that she was going to ask other spirits too see if they could survive here as well. Even though initially I did not meet any because they where frightened of me when I appeared Pippa told me that they loved it and all that they wanted to do was explore.

I didn’t know what to do. I was beginning to realise that if I went that way I was going to frighten spirits too death if I died and yet if went back too life I was causing major problems with the devil and life itself and I would probably end up having seizures all my life so I decided to try to go to the place of sanctuary between the two worlds (I still called it Jupiter) at least that way I couldn’t hurt anybody. Night after night my unconscious mind took me back too the place it had created and told me that I was in a unique position and it could teach me anything about the mind that I wanted. However night and night my conscious could only scream and cry about it. What the unconscious mind could not understand was the physical pain so anything it might be able to teach me couldn’t be done physically by anybody else and yet all the time my conscious mind was at this level where all spirits where frightened of it.

My unconscious mind would not leave the conscious mind alone. It was convinced that it could help the situation it told me that it had established the heartbeat needed to feed the nerves when the cells in that particular area are exhausted but as you get older the nerves need more feed whilst at the same time the cells become lazy causing more and more pressure on the heartbeat and blockages in the veins. But it had found a technique whereby it could dig at nerve so as to bring it to life which in turn would frighten the cells and make them move which would take the pressure off the heartbeat and allow the nerves to calm and feed off cells that did not know better than too let them because cells are stupid things.

My conscious mind listened with interest and thought well that maybe but what can I do about it and how might that help others. My unconscious mind said “Look leave it too me I will make your cells work and not be so lazy” (now that my seizures have stopped my heartbeat is very slow and it takes a lot of exercise before it reacts. The unconscious mind tells me that my body doesn’t need it because it has no nerves too feed but I would never believe that yet there are occasions that I sit there and no matter how hard I try I can’t feel it beat at all).

I was at school and my mind started to wander on occasions but I knew something was happening too it but I did not know what. I was getting fed up with it and thought yeah ok so it thinks it has found a new way to survive but what use is it anyway. My unconscious mind spent night after night arguing with the conscious mind. It said “Look if you can get your conscious mind to learn how to stop the cells from being so lazy then you will be able to do so much more with your life. I already know how to communicate with all the spirits and have seen what they can do in the life beyond here. I can even help them build paths around places that no body knew existed”. I said “Oh Yeah How?” It said that if it dug at the nerves whilst I was asleep then it could uncover places in the mind that no other human or spirit had been before but then what it had to do was guide Pippa around it then she could lead others there whilst I slept. I said “Fine but what will happen to these poor spirits when I seizure and more important when I die?” It said that it wasn’t a problem when I had a seizure because it was the first one to have to deal with it and that now came naturally to him. I said “OK FINE but what about when I die?” It said that it had been thinking about this and the only solution was for it too keep digging at nerves so that they don’t need too be stimulated to feed off cells and that in turn would stop the cells being lazy and if it does it right then perhaps any spirit that was in the go between could get this way rather than get stuck in it and Pippa was proof that that worked and she was used too the way that the nerves fed off the cells and therefore could guard the spirits around a different path whilst the nerves fed and eventually they would be free to explore in places where nerves can’t survive which is what they did best especially when they had a spirit on there back”. I said “OK SMART ARSE you do what you feel that you have to but leave me out of it.”

I had all kinds of seizures and went too sleep and ended up hearing voices “LOOK I have challenged GOD about this break in the Atmosphere but he isn’t interested; you know what he is like anything for an easy life! - WHO WAS THAT??”
Another voice said “It must have been GOD there is only us down here and he is the only other one who knows the way in and we would know if someone had died, I just wish that he would let us know when he was coming. I woke up in the morning sweating and screaming I had just seen my whole family being forced into raging fire and I was going to be the next one in.

My unconscious mind took me back the next night too the usual place and said to me “Look if you don’t help me I will send you back there again, besides what did you hear?” I said “Look send me there I don’t care I don’t want any part of it, oh and if it is so important to you this is what I heard” and I told him. He said “This is interesting stuff but I need more.” I said “Do what you like because you only will anyway I wish you had never stepped into my life!!”

When I next went to sleep I could hear voices again. They said “That thing is here again”; “What is it? We need to know or it could be the end for us and we will have too rest but that can’t happen because the planet will be over run with these so called humans. Can you imagine if everyone of them had twelve kids every time they got pregnant Dino is right we need rid of them so as too stop that happening you never know if there was a way, perhaps this kind hearted thing might rest and eventually find his family. His family think he should just rest anyway but I can see where he is coming from and God must agree with him or else he would have made him rest, this place is already over run with them. It needs a war like the one a few years ago it might just cut the population in half and what they don’t seem to realise is if we let the average life expectancy get above where it is now then the place will be still over run, besides the path of life that we have created does not even affect them in there life whilst they are here and you know how carefree they are when they die as far as they are concerned they just want to be rid of this planet. If it was up to them the place would have exploded years ago”. The last thing I heard before I woke up was someone saying “I know who it was, it was that Epileptic guy do you think that he heard us?” “That we will never know unless of course he is stupid enough to come back here again we will have to keep on guard.”

I woke up in the morning no dream, nothing. My unconscious thought it had found a way of getting me in and out of HELL but my conscious new that it had too try and stop it from doing it because it wasn’t normal and would probably DIE. The trouble was because everything that the unconscious did was so easy it did not have time too think of the consequences all it knew was how to relax a nerve in front of it and then just powered through it. This really began too trouble the conscious and I did not know why when I woke up, but it wasn’t till I had a seizure on a night that I was prepared too go to sleep. Then it took me to Jupiter and said “Look what is your problem all I am doing is trying to help people!”

“I know but you have not once stopped to think what might happen if you keep doing this, it is not normal I might be able to relax whilst you are doing it to me but it is obvious that it is not what is termed as “Normal” and that freaks me out, I don’t know what affect you might be having and it is obvious that you have helped the life beyond but I don’t believe you can help here now either go looking somewhere else or stay here and help the spirits but leave me alone!!”

“OK then I will stay here but I won’t stop studying don’t you see there could be real life over here which I believe if I can make a link between you and that life and then you make the connection between us and them down below you might, just might be able to help everyone else. We have established that the root cause of there problems lies behind there heartbeat but we need to know why it won’t rest I don’t believe what it is doing is helping the cause just controlling it!!”
“LOOK there is no way someone like me who now knows a little bit about its own nerves can change things down there, please just leave me alone!!”

[Weevie]

Chapter 4
I woke up in the morning shaking but just put it down to a seizure. Life went on as normal I was having seizures but I was sleeping better which meant a lot to me and I was totally unaware of what was going on within me until I started getting viscous pains in my stomach. It felt like my muscles where collapsing in my stomach I screamed out a couple of times and then shortly afterwards went into a seizure. This became a regular occurrence the pain was there and then I would have a seizure and come out of it a bit bloated but soon recovered until one time I felt my stomach collapse like it now did before going into a seizure but when I came out of the seizure, there was what felt like explosions at bottom of my stomach followed not long after with a smack on my heartbeat. Now even though the pain had gone before the seizure, it came back with interest when what must have been a nerve trying to rebuild a path for the muscles to regenerate in my stomach, my body was in turmoil but I still didn’t know why just that it must be something to do with my epilepsy.

That night the unconscious mind took me to Jupiter again and started talking to me, all I did was cry “I want the ground to open up and swallow me!!” I told the unconscious mind. “Every time I wake up I fear the next seizure, I know that my stomach is going too be in turmoil and the pain will nearly kill me. I don’t know for sure what is going on but I suspect that it comes down too what you are doing to my nerves. Then on the other side of it if you or anyone else up there makes me die you are so aware of what goes on around me means that you will not let it happen and I suspect that if I died you would have too. If you did that it would probably have a strange affect on the life beyond here, you might think that I am in a privileged position but that is not the way that it is at all. I would call it an impossible position!!”

“I am sorry” it said “But I keep trying to study the pain you may be feeling when your conscious confronts a loose nerve and I know that soon the pain will be gone trust me. You don’t seem to understand that the life beyond really needs us at the moment. You are helping the spirits build paths that they can survive on without the need for nerves just the chemicals that the nerves need to stimulate the cells enough for spirits to feed off them until they leave your body. If we can find the balance in your mind between the conscious and the unconscious on both sides of the Brain then it could have a real impact on you and what we are trying to achieve will come naturally to you.”

“Look just do what you have too it obviously really doesn’t matter about me does it?”

“Please don’t be like that it really is all in hand and one day your conscious mind will remember all of this and be able to use it even though at first it might not appear useful but in the long term it will be believe me it will be.”

“Whatever!!”

Actually the pain did go away it was replaced by a prick in my stomach followed by an explosion. Prick – explosion, Prick – explosion and so it continued. The seizures did slow down a bit though.

The unconscious mind said that it was starting to see a pattern between where the pricks where coming from and where the explosion finished up. The chemicals that it creates when it has finished are the same as the ones generated by the code.
“Look if you have learnt this and you think that it is so important then why don’t you build a path just above where the explosion is going to be and throw me into it and then let it power me back up the path?”
“That is what we do already when you seizure and it works really well.”
“Don’t tell me then what you are trying to do is send me along that path and stay conscious at the same time!!”

“You got it!!”

“You have already told me that too generate the chemicals that the conscious needs to survive you need to dig at a nerve and let it give off the chemicals but if you are stupid enough to send me around that path I will either die instantly or end up in hell where I was during that dream!!” “But hey fine who am I to stop you if you haven’t tried this before at least wait until I am asleep.”

“We already do and have done for years now but the trouble is that when you are conscious your brain needs about ten times more of these chemicals too survive then what you do when you are asleep. It is all about building the right path in the right place at the right time because that way all the time it is looking for you we will be one step ahead of it. I will let you know when we are ready to try, it will probably happen as you are waking up one morning.” “Anyway that wasn’t the real development here that we where looking into, it was something completely different.”
“In all the seizures you have had for years now we have established that you always end up going back down the same path having the same feelings of Dinosaur to worm and back to dinosaur but we wondered what would happen if one nerve fed the next nerve the same thing, and because we have taught your cells not too be lazy, the spirits on the outside can use them without fear of being trapped in someone’s nerves because if that happens they end up being forced into the heartbeat and back on the inside of the body fighting against the forces within.”

“OK then but why the big development?”

“We the spirits on the outside have studied the nerves in animals and other things, they are rapidly coming to the conclusion that the different parts of the body where there are different nerves give off the same chemicals when we dig at them but Cause you different pains and reactions. However the interesting bit is that at different times of the day and of night over a year you can make every nerve do the same thing. If we smack a nerve in your foot and study it and the next night smack one in your stomach and study that then sometimes it reacts in exactly the same way. These findings are consistent with all of your mind and body. We can make a connection between some of the chemicals given off by say a jelly fish and try to build a path in your body where we have generated the same chemicals and your brain then thinks that it is a jelly fish. These findings are consistent with all different plants and animals.”

“It sounds like you have been having great fun with my mind and body. Where will all this end? What type of life do you expect me too have all the time that I have you doing your stupid tests and then coming up with your stupid theories? Anyway if any of this is true why the big development? I think they call it evolution down here no big development. Anyway the only thing which I find interesting is the fact that if you put a spirit along these nerves and they get it wrong then they end up down here within me. What that means is when people die there nerves are at different levels and if they get caught in the go between and then end up near some live persons heartbeat they will feed him what he needs and allow him to control initially that persons thoughts and feelings and be able to dictate the path of that persons life. That also allows him to jump between people and do it in such a way that he can create a path for someone then wait until a time when there are nerves about on the outside like when someone dies and then smack someone’s nerve either causing pain or a blockage get out of the body and use a spirit that has just died too get into someone else’s body.”

“You learn well but it isn’t just him doing this, what happens is when he creates a path with a spirit he shows them how too do things like move things, bang things etc. The spirit thinks that it is wonderful and he tells them to learn things whilst he is preparing to teach them other things. When all he is doing is using them too breath and ultimately end up in the surer at the bottom of the sea helping to create life like jellyfish. These spirits need too learn not too allow him to keep trapping them because he is trapping life itself and stopping the spirits spreading life upwards when they die. Yes this only happens occasionally but every time it happens he is getting stronger and potentially suffocating life itself making people fat and lazy. The spirits which are above you now are roaming free in a place that nobody new existed and are learning too do more things with there energies. Things which no human can do and up until now no spirit has been able to do either but they daren’t get too brave or ambitious until it comes naturally because they initially forget and then end up in prison fighting for there life and ultimately in the surer. We are beginning to see that this is consistent for any part of the body and ultimately what they have learnt to do is find the part of the body at that moment in time where there are chemicals generated that will help them move something and see what will happen too you if they use it. Ideally what they want is too be able to do this and remember how they have done it and the only way of doing that is to send you into a seizure. There theory is that if they can get it beyond you having a seizure to do it then they will be able too do these things naturally and never forget them after they have left your body. You would not believe what you have helped create in the life beyond but they still have so much more to learn from you. You have helped a new life form too evolve in the life beyond. This coupled with what they already have learnt from the spirits in heaven makes it so exciting.”

“Exciting for you may be but what about me? It sounds too me like there is someone on the inside digging at my nerves too control life down here and there is definitely someone above me helping him whilst all the time I am standing in the school hall dancing in the middle of assembly and also putting my hands in hot ovens in cookery to name but two!!”

“Oh yes sorry about that one in cookery but it did help us, as you remember you put your hands in the oven with no oven gloves on and lifted the scones out of the oven yes? Well I remember everybody crowding around you to look at your hands and you coming out of the seizure and asking everyone what was wrong because there was not a mark on your hands and there still isn’t today. At that time we had numbed the nerves in your hands too see if they would still work without them but didn’t expect that kind of result there was euphoria here.”

[Weevie]

Chapter 5
It was the talk of the school at the time and I had no idea how it happened either. The seizures continued but I had learned too just get on with it because I knew that it did not matter what I thought or wanted nothing was going to stop it. That night I went to sleep and I ended up back at Jupiter and my unconscious said that it wanted me too follow it, listen and learn too feel what is around you but don’t look back; Never look back. I listened and then I heard lots of voices sounding really excited. “Look it is growing, Pippa said that it would she was right” then I heard her say “Look don’t get to close it might frighten you just stand back and feed it this.” Everything seemed too stand still no voices, nothing and yet there was part of me that felt free as if a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders suddenly I felt like I was floating around. It got faster and faster but felt absolutely wonderful. I questioned too myself where is everybody and before I had chance to think again I heard Pippa saying “We are over here isn’t it wonderful; Oh slow down where are you going you are the fastest yet, everybody follow me it is safe.” She knew my thoughts and where the danger was for me and for them and my unconscious told me “Look you must just learn to feel, you can do anything by feeling on the outside. That is what the spirits that get trapped in your nerves lose it is like a sixth sense. What we want to know is if you can adapt the sense of feeling too all of your other senses then the spirits will be able to relate the sense of feeling they have with yours and communicate with others whilst using your body.”

Now there is part of me that still yearns for what happened next but although I can’t fully remember it I sat there talking to all the spirits around me teaching them ways of doing things with the senses and then they took off did some exploring then came back wanting to learn more and more. I was like college lecturer but when I asked if I could learn more about them all I got told was that you will learn everything when the time is right. In a strange sort of way this did calm me down a little because I thought that there was something away from here and perhaps it might all be worth it.

I now know that there is so much more that went on, some of which he says are exciting like when claims too have brought a star to life using the spirits behind the sun in heaven so too speak. He also tells me that the only thing that they lack is physical presence. If I am prepared to keep writing things down then he says he will tell me more and he maintains that there is another way for everybody but until Dino and all his happy little helpers who feel that the world owes them something are willing to rest then they will always have control over the way humans think and nothing will change that. It upsets him because he says that everybody in both life and death are only using a tiny amount of what they are capable of and are trapped by the forces within each other and made only to walk this planet. It believes that if we where left to our own devices we could reach for the STARS!!

What Do I Think?

Well if you asked me I would say that part of me nearly died in a seizure and got stuck between too entities but learnt to survive there and anything that it might think that it has uncovered is just the rest of me trying to rest but because the I am still alive here then I don’t know if it ever will rest till I die.

10/06/2008