Are you wearing? # 11

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A REASON?

Are you wearing that for a reason?
That most revealing spray on dress
I can see everything you’ve got
There is no need for me to guess

ARE YOU WEARING GUMBOOTS?

Are you wearing gumboots?
The great dependable welly
They’re only short coming being
They make your feet smelly

ARE YOU WEARING DREADLOCKS?

Are you wearing dreadlocks?
On you they don’t look right
Firstly you’re not Jamaican
And secondly you’re white

ARE YOU WEARING A FRINGE?

Are you wearing a fringe?
I’m sorry it made me cringe
But I have a bit of an aversion
To that Winkleman person

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A BET?

Are you wearing that for a bet?
I can see no other reason
To dress like a total pratt
Unless it’s the silly season

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK GLOVES?

Are you wearing black gloves?
Oh its one of your naked escapades
Just gloves and matching shoes
Well you look like the five of spades

ARE YOU WEARING A HALO?

Are you wearing a halo?
Well angel you look very sweet
But looks can be deceptive
Not every angel that I meet
Is as sweet as they look
And their morals take a back seat
So are you as sweet as you look?
If not then I’m in for a treat

ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR THE CRAIC?

Are you wearing it for the craic?
Surely the convent will want it back
It’s your habit? Well that’s a twister
Get away with you, you’re never a sister
Well I say you’re too lovely to be a nun
But if I’m wrong I’ll be getting none

ARE YOU WEARING A CONFIDENT AIR?

Are you wearing a Confident Air?
There is certainly a hint of smugness I can trace
Just remember that confidence is at its peak
Just moments before you fall flat on your face

ARE YOU WEARING POLKA-DOT PANTS?

Are you wearing polka-dot pants?
What do you mean how do I know?
Well if you wear polka-dot underwear
Under white shorts they tend to show