A Reputable Establishment

[Bonsai Ent]

I haven't been to that bar that they built
on the ground
of the ancient Indian burial mound.

Where everyone pays by card
so the chink of coins doesn't drown
out the sound
of the trendy experimental Jazz.

Where no one gets drunk and a banker's on hand
to lend you the price of a beer
handmade, by a monk, from organic hops
that shops wouldn't sell in this genuine earthenware jug.

Where up on the stage
in a cage,
behind suited musicians hand-picked for the day,
are authentic louts, with their teeth taken out,
Who leer the sort of scandalous obscenities you can tell your friends about.

Where everyone sits with their legs crossed,
because where the toilets once were
has been redeveloped into an espresso bar
that serves artisan bread
And instead
of graffiti there's poetry on the walls
written in black ink and block capitals.

But the sinks are still there, with movement sensors that dispense for free,
water from the dead sea.

Where the good people go
to wallow in the glow,
Of an abridged outsider culture.

I haven't been there, I wouldn't get in
past the bouncer from Shaolin
Who checks at the door, to be sure
your degree (2.1 or above) is from a reputable establishment.

[Hawkman]

What a marvellously humerous take - on so much! LOL. Red Brick? ;)

I would suggest that the longer lines would benefit from some line breaks. The one about the leering caged louts doesn't quite scan to the rhythm of the rest of it, and generally the poem has very good rhythm. Apart from that - priceless :)

Live and be well - H

PS where have you been hiding?

[Jack of Hearts]

Agreed with Hawkman. Where is this joint? Of course, this reader doesn't understand that last bit about the degree. What's a '2.1'? This poem seems subversively English... which is also a bit like Hawkman, coincidentally.






J

[Bonsai Ent]

Thanks, glad it raised a smile. :)
lol worse than redbrick, I'm one of those it-used-to-be-a-polytechnic-but-now-it's-a-university types.
It does need a bit of ironing out, I'm hoping reading it out loud a few times will effect a cure.

I've mostly been hiding in my dissertation (signed up a while back but got distracted), I mostly only lurk in the poetry section. My poem-output is fairly low, a hobby really

[Bonsai Ent]

Agreed with Hawkman. Where is this joint? Of course, this reader doesn't understand that last bit about the degree. What's a '2.1'? This poem seems subversively English... which is also a bit like Hawkman, coincidentally.




J

It's a few places merged into one in my head, though mostly about a local dive that was a favourite spot for underage debauchery, that is being turned into something pricey.

UK Bachelors degrees have 5 grades: 1st, 2.1, 2.2, 3rd, and "pass"... (our post-grad ones are usually just "pass" or "Distinction", may be closer to the US system?)

[Hawkman]

BE: Good hobby :D You should develop it. Look forward to reading more from you, and a belated welcome to the boards.

Jack: a 2:1 used to be referred to as an upper 2nd. The top class of bachellors degree from a British university is 1:1 otherwise known as a 1st. You can have a 2:2, a 2:3 (I think, can't remember properly) and the lowest of the low, a 3rd. I've known a number of lecturers who had 3rd class bachellor degrees, but got away with a master's and embarked on a career in education - lol. As far as I can remember, most of the students learned from each other - LOL. My sister got a 3rd from Birmingham, but she now has a Phd. :)

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

I think it was a great take on bars going all poncey and it really brought a smile to my face. I do agree with Hawk about the line breaks. Great poem.