Born In The Image of God

[ShadowsCool]

Born In The Image of God
~
We were born in the image of God,
A Man familiar with sorrows.

We esteemed Him not.
He was stricken with pains
To carry us through on His shoulders.

He was not much to look at,
God did not make Him
In a pleasant physical way.
He had to bare each our scars,
The kind which never heal.

And He came on His journey
To receive our hate,
Our iniquities;
All our future blindness
Was on Him, the Deliverer of lost souls;
Who came to pardon our sins.

And He asked that we understand
That when He went away
He had to be tempted himself,
To show us a way,
So we can walk in the dim
And still find the ray to that Light.

And we heard His counsel,
And we felt His love.

And when wisdom fell from His lips,
We had enough,
We had to do away with Him;
Nailing His body on the cross
To die a slow pain
Along with everyone's sorrow.

And He cried out,
"God why have You forsaken Me"?
As God from heaven poured out His wrath
To His withered frame,
Now tattered in shame,
Weeping in the wind
To the blindness of man.

And as He hung there barely alive
He cried out, "I thirst!"
And we gave Him nothing in kind,
But some sour brew from our hearts.

And that's when He knew
It was time to die,
And lifted His head
And said:
"Into thy hands I conjoin My Spirit".

And then and there the earth grew silent,
As our sterile hearts looked into
The encroach of dark clouds.

And a veil fell on the earth
To testify of God's anger.

And we fell on our faces
Into the dust,
Tasting the earth
That He made of us.
~

[Delta40]

This sort of poetry is always difficult to review Shadows due to the nature of its theme. It is more of a testimonial of one's personal beliefs and such becomes a well written sermon more so than anything else. I know how passionate you are Shadows and on this basis, I think it is well composed and I can imagine it being read aloud in the right context, touching the hearts of those who truly believe.

[ShadowsCool]

This sort of poetry is always difficult to review Shadows due to the nature of its theme. It is more of a testimonial of one's personal beliefs and such becomes a well written sermon more so than anything else. I know how passionate you are Shadows and on this basis, I think it is well composed and I can imagine it being read aloud in the right context, touching the hearts of those who truly believe.

Well thanks Delta. I shutter sometimes when I post a religious poem. Cause they usually piss people off. Some think it's preaching, others think I'm high minded LOL. I'm not a holy roller and I'm not versed in traditional writing. Though I do enjoy writing love poems.

[Delta40]

Well thanks Delta. I shutter sometimes when I post a religious poem. Cause they usually piss people off. Some think it's preaching, others think I'm high minded LOL. I'm not a holy roller and I'm not versed in traditional writing. Though I do enjoy writing love poems.

Lol. I'm pretty crappy at love poems and I don't think I've ever written one about God. Maybe I should make them my next two challenges...

[ShadowsCool]

Lol. I'm pretty crappy at love poems and I don't think I've ever written one about God. Maybe I should make them my next two challenges...

It's funny you say that. Cause I cannot write your style of writing. I mean it's very good of course, but different. Maybe because you've read a lot of authors? Idk, but I guess we have our own methods of getting where we are going to.

Ever write something and you think it's good but no one says a damn thing? And another time you write something quick and you brush it off and they love it LOL.

[Delta40]

It's funny you say that. Cause I cannot write your style of writing. I mean it's very good of course, but different. Maybe because you've read a lot of authors? Idk, but I guess we have our own methods of getting where we are going to.

Ever write something and you think it's good but no one says a damn thing? And another time you write something quick and you brush it off and they love it LOL.

All the time!

[Buh4Bee]

Delta put it best! In the right crowd, people would really enjoy this. I do have faith and I enjoyed it, but I found that your pacing is inconsistent.

Stanza 3:
He was not much to look at,
God did not make Him
In a pleasant physical way.
He had to bare each our scars,
The kind which never heal.

Here, you are telling more than showing. This is a common complaint on the forum.

Stanza 4:
And He came on His journey
To receive our hate,
Our iniquities;
All our future blindness
Was on Him, the Deliverer of lost souls;
Who came to pardon our sins.

The flow is better and it has a nice sequence.

My main point is contrasting just these two stanzas is to shows how the poem lacks control, but not passion for Christ. I laugh, because Delta is probably more qualified to critique than myself.

[ShadowsCool]

Delta put it best! In the right crowd, people would really enjoy this. I do have faith and I enjoyed it, but I found that your pacing is inconsistent.

Stanza 3:
He was not much to look at,
God did not make Him
In a pleasant physical way.
He had to bare each our scars,
The kind which never heal.

Here, you are telling more than showing. This is a common complaint on the forum.

Stanza 4:
And He came on His journey
To receive our hate,
Our iniquities;
All our future blindness
Was on Him, the Deliverer of lost souls;
Who came to pardon our sins.

The flow is better and it has a nice sequence.

My main point is contrasting just these two stanzas is to shows how the poem lacks control, but not passion for Christ. I laugh, because Delta is probably more qualified to critique than myself.

No, you've done a fine job of critiquing. I see what you mean. I tend to tell more than I show. Thanks for bringing that out Buh4Bee.

[Delta40]

I laugh, because Delta is probably more qualified to critique than myself.

Good grief Buh4Bee, whatever gave you that idea? You underestimate yourself. Go and say twenty Hail Marys!

[Buh4Bee]

I'm flawed, I know! LOL!

[ShadowsCool]

Good grief Buh4Bee, whatever gave you that idea? You underestimate yourself. Go and say twenty Hail Marys!

:angelsad2: Hail Mary, Mother of God.... haha

[Silas Thorne]

I share Delta's ideas on it being difficult to comment on this topic, but as an agnostic interested in poetry, I'll respond anyway.

I'm wondering if this might be better written as prose poetry, since you don't always need the line breaks here, and there's no reason why rhyme, alliteration etc can't present itself in prose, and thinking of the King James edition, there's a lot of poetry in there.

Oh, and perhaps I'm being pedantic here, but there are areas where the capitalisation can cause a bit of confusion here, such as:
'As God from heaven poured out His wrath
To His withered frame,'

In the first line you mean God, right? And in the second, I take it you mean the demigod nailed to the cross? But both are 'His'. The problem is if they are both 'His,' they are the same thing.
I'm not sure if you can 'walk in the dim', since 'dim' is an adjective. Perhaps 'walk in the shadows/twilight/darkness?' .Or something similarly bereft of light.

[ShadowsCool]

I'm wondering if this might be better written as prose poetry, since you don't always need the line breaks here, and there's no reason why rhyme, alliteration etc can't present itself in prose, and thinking of the King James edition, there's a lot of poetry in there.

I agree. Prose it is!




In the first line you mean God, right? And in the second, I take it you mean the demigod nailed to the cross? But both are 'His'. The problem is if they are both 'His,' they are the same thing.


Yes, in the first line I mean God.
In the second line I mean God on the cross.
And they are the same, (I and the Father are One!) so both get capitalization out of respect.

demigod? I'm not sure what you mean?
If a demigod died on the cross then there would be no Christianity to speak of.

A true Christian don't worship a demigod, they worship God.

Thanks for your comment Silas!

[Silas Thorne]

Yes, in the first line I mean God.
In the second line I mean God on the cross.
And they are the same, (I and the Father are One!) so both get capitalization out of respect.



Oh, okay, I was wondering about that. Ignore that comment then, and the other one following it. I don't really have much knowledge to comment on the content, and with the comment above my question about the form was intimately connected with the content you wanted to present.

Anyway, happy to try to help, even if it wasn't much help at all.
Later,
Silas