A Pome What I Wrote

[Hawkman]

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

130 Words

I ain’t a cat
not Schrödinger’s or logic’s

I ain’t a dog
not an imperialist’s running one, anyway

I ain’t a mouse
I ain’t a rat
ain’t got a house
ain’t got a flat

but I versify
diversify
in freedom’s form—
it seems the norm

I do sums with words
and lettuce
which is algebra
of sorts: vegetable poetry
for cabbages

with slug lines:

INT. THE POET’S MIND – DAY

Don’t run away
just watch and learn
don’t spurn my efforts to amuse
I’ll edify you if I choose
or not

We gotta stop the rot

What say?
Decay!
No thanks
Keep the rust at bay with polish
dress the pitted surface with a layer of gloss:
keep rolling and you’ll stay free of moss

That’s deep

Now go to sleep

[PrinceMyshkin]

Does the term freaking genius mean anything to you? It ought to. This is great fun. Thanks a ton!

[cogs]

ah i love your wit. what i'm missing (and this is the reader speaking), are transitional bridges within the overall coherent scope of the poem. perhaps it's the prose writer in me, spilling 'readership' into shortcut lines. that unintentional effect is ironic, isn't it?

[Hawkman]

Prince: Freaking? :D I take it you imply that genius is unhinged, or at least, that portion of which you seem to imply I might be posessed :D If so, and if I do, you are probably right - LOL. I'm delighted you enjoyed it, as always.

cogs: Hi, and thanks for reading. Transitions hmmm. The poem is sort of set out as a rant, or one-sided conversation. The narrator begins by stating what he is not, and hasn't got, proceed to what he does and how he does it, and then continues with is reaction to the audience's reaction to his tirade. There is, I think, a logical progression in this soliloquy. I leave it to the reader to insert their own reactions as responses to the various elements of the speech :D

Glad you thought it witty :)

Live and be well - H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Prince: Freaking? :D I take it you imply that genius is unhinged, or at least, that portion of which you seem to imply I might be posessed :D If so, and if I do, you are probably right - LOL. I'm delighted you enjoyed it, as always.


I take it you are being, how you say. disingenuous, and that you know freaking stands here in place of some naughty Anglo-Saxonism

[Hawkman]

Ahh, well it's a while since I did any of that, all I have is the madness :D

LLAP - H

[cogs]

yes, you're right that it does have a logical progression. perhaps the readers' mental response is what i'm 'reading' into this, with the idea of transition. perhaps you intentionally cast out an image, and see how readers swim around it. i do not wish you to change, since the lines definitely dynamically explain themselves.

[firefangled]

Fun and interesting. Almost a nursery rhyme, I think. I do like the way the way narrator is presented n such an unpretentious way, considering the subject matters of his/her rant.

[cacian]

Hi Hawkman I liked the first one especially the first/second/third and fourth stanzas.
Just a question
what does a Pome mean?

[Hawkman]

cogs: Thanks again and I'm glad you think so :)

ff: not sure about the nursery rhyme, I think it's more of an anti-lullaby - lol. I guess it's the last line that does it ;) I had in mind the kind of person who takes his sopbox to speaker's corner :D Thanks for reading.

cacian: Pome is a deliberate misspelling of poem, a hint to this is included in the bad grammar of the thread's title. I'm glad that you especially liked some of it. :D

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

Are we starting a new trend here? Is it possible to fail?

[Hawkman]

Are we starting a new trend here? Is it possible to fail?

You've lost me here, Delta. :confused: It's always possible (though undesirable) to fail :D I do hope you don't think I have - LOL

[Delta40]

I'm getting the impression that these poems are a tacit 'stab'

[miyako73]

Yes, Delta. The arrogant "Edify" will give you an idea.

Like a bamboo, I, too, just want to grow.

[Hawkman]

Poems? I've only written one of these. That it mocks pretentiousness can't be denied, but I still don't see the connection to your first comment.

Live and be well - H

[MorpheusSandman]

I already told Hawk in PM that this is far better than my effort on the same subject but, then again, I was trying to write mine as badly as possible; this is just plain good!

[miyako73]

I already told Hawk in PM that this is far better than my effort on the same subject but, then again, I was trying to write mine as badly as possible; this is just plain good!

Like Stallings with free verse, I'm honest in accepting my lack of skill in formal verse. Childish rants are for idiots. How will readers take you personally when there is no honesty but deception in your writing? And my God! You're proud of it, Morpheus.

[Hawkman]

Miyako, something you should be aware of: I can laugh at myself just as loudly as I can laugh anyone else, including you. It wouldn't do you any harm to learn to read stuff like this with a little self-deprecating good humour. I would rather not have the carcass of this debate, endlessly circled over by forum members, like vultures, flitting in to gobble a beakful of bile, in any of my threads. The proper place for the discussion of poetic theory is in the Poems, Poets and Poetry strand. Start a thread there and you can all argue to your heart's content.

If you have anything to say about the relative merits or flaws of the poem, with regard to it's execution, then feel free to comment. However, Clutching some perceived personal injury to yourself and approaching it in the guise of a slighted victim probably won't help in this. If you weren't so sensitive about your rather precious philosophy of art, you would see that this poem is mocking the debate in general, including both sides of the argument. So please, stop bleading your wounded ego all over my thread.

Live and be well - H

[Jack of Hearts]

Hawk, this reader must be missing some context here? But as a 'stab' at pretentiousness, we'll take it!





J

[Hawkman]

Thanks Jack, both for reading and the comment :)

live and be well - H

[MorpheusSandman]

How will readers take you personally when there is no honesty but deception in your writing? ...the truest poetry is the most
feigning; and lovers are given to poetry, and what
they swear in poetry may be said as lovers they do feign.

[Delta40]

Poems? I've only written one of these. That it mocks pretentiousness can't be denied, but I still don't see the connection to your first comment.

Live and be well - H

Forgive me. My comment isn't aimed at you personally Hawk. But there is a theme on this forum at the moment which I cannot ignore which has a certain 'authorial intent' shall we say? I am perhaps mistaken and if I am, apologies all round :blush2: The poet of course seeks inspiration everywhere and your comments about being able to laugh at oneself are true. I just wondered if it is yourself you are laughing at in this piece.

[Hawkman]

Certainly, in the second half I am and in the general tone of the piece. :)

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

Certainly, in the second half I am and in the general tone of the piece. :)

Live and be well - H

That's wonderful! :smilewinkgrin: