Heavenly Made

[ShadowsCool]

Heavenly Made
~

Cobalt blue sunshine,
The colors of the divine;
Amid a golden pedestal
Two angelic figures emerge,
Waving a declarative wand
Into the abodes of heaven,
Beseeching the power of the divine
To make her luring as can be.

And they betokened her with love,
And put daises upon her eyes;
Merging lips with sugarplum;
As pastel butterflies
Flew buoyant through her hair.
And from the castles of heaven
She came down harlequin stairs,
And nothing else arrayed
As lovely, nor as fair!

[Hawkman]

Hi Shadows, To be honest I'd discard the first stanza completely as it doesn't make a whole lot of sense grammatically and is a bit confused. It doesn't really add much to the poem anyway. S2, on the other hand is actually quite good. You just need to replace the misused semicolons with commas, though I'd drop the and that begins the stanza. You might want to amend the last 2 lines:

"and nothing was arrayed
so lovely or so fair."

Live and be well - H