Biggus
05-04-2012, 04:01 AM
SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 8
Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at the theme park
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the visitors
When it says Exhilarate, Exhilarate
MOTHER OF TWO
George is a married man
Who is content with his lot
But he calls his wife “mother of two”
Which she likes not a jot
One day at a house party
He said as the partying was done
“Come along then “mother of two””
She replied “ok father of one”
MARRIAGE DEAL
Marriage is like a pack of cards
In the beginning to make the grade
You need two hearts and a diamond
By the end you want a club and a spade
THE LARGE HUNG-OVER NORTHERN ELK
The morning after the night before
When his head is like a helter-skelta
The large hung-over northern Elk
Has to reach for the Elka-seltza
SUPPORT GROUP – WEIGHT PROBLEMS
Do you suffer from a weight problem?
Well that’s what Support groups are for
We meet every Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the large double door
DIRECTORY ENQUIRY
I was a stranger in town,
And didn’t know my way around
“Could you tell me mush?
How I get to Shepherds Bush?”
To a local inhabitant I did beg
And he replied “up the Shepherd’s leg”
THE THING ABOUT MANGE-TOUT
The thing about mange-tout
That I want to say to you
Is when all said and done
I could never eat a whole one
THE CHURCH LADIES
The Church ladies have cast off clothing
Of every kind, generously strewn
They may be seen in the back room
Of the church hall every afternoon
AT THE FOOT OF MY BED
At the foot of my bed
As in my bed I laid
I saw Gloria Gaynor’s ghost
At first I was afraid........
I WENT SHOPPING THE OTHER DAY
I went shopping the other day
To an out of town shopping mall
I wanted some camouflage trousers
But I couldn’t find any at all
Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at the theme park
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of the visitors
When it says Exhilarate, Exhilarate
MOTHER OF TWO
George is a married man
Who is content with his lot
But he calls his wife “mother of two”
Which she likes not a jot
One day at a house party
He said as the partying was done
“Come along then “mother of two””
She replied “ok father of one”
MARRIAGE DEAL
Marriage is like a pack of cards
In the beginning to make the grade
You need two hearts and a diamond
By the end you want a club and a spade
THE LARGE HUNG-OVER NORTHERN ELK
The morning after the night before
When his head is like a helter-skelta
The large hung-over northern Elk
Has to reach for the Elka-seltza
SUPPORT GROUP – WEIGHT PROBLEMS
Do you suffer from a weight problem?
Well that’s what Support groups are for
We meet every Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the large double door
DIRECTORY ENQUIRY
I was a stranger in town,
And didn’t know my way around
“Could you tell me mush?
How I get to Shepherds Bush?”
To a local inhabitant I did beg
And he replied “up the Shepherd’s leg”
THE THING ABOUT MANGE-TOUT
The thing about mange-tout
That I want to say to you
Is when all said and done
I could never eat a whole one
THE CHURCH LADIES
The Church ladies have cast off clothing
Of every kind, generously strewn
They may be seen in the back room
Of the church hall every afternoon
AT THE FOOT OF MY BED
At the foot of my bed
As in my bed I laid
I saw Gloria Gaynor’s ghost
At first I was afraid........
I WENT SHOPPING THE OTHER DAY
I went shopping the other day
To an out of town shopping mall
I wanted some camouflage trousers
But I couldn’t find any at all