Are you wearing? # 10

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?

Are you wearing socks?
Tell me that you are, pray
Why must you adopt
The most bohemian way
And be quite sock less
On your wedding day

ARE YOU WEARING PIG TAILS?

Are you wearing pig tails?
Well that look never fails
To make you look, as a rule,
Like you’re still at school

ARE YOU WEARING A WAISTCOAT?

Are you wearing a waistcoat?
Well it certainly gets my vote
Though some might disapprove
And it falls on me to behove
To say without being uncaring
It’s the only thing you’re wearing

ARE YOU WEARING A FEATHER BOA?

Are you wearing a feather boa?
It makes you look like a goer
And I think that is a no noa
You don’t need any help so soa
You can loose the feather boa

ARE YOU WEARING A SASH?

Are you wearing a sash?
I think you’ll make a splash
And normally you’d be a smash
But isn’t that just a bit rash
I mean for this kind of a bash
For you only to wear a sash

ARE YOU WEARING PIERCING’S?

Are you wearing piercing’s?
Thru ears and nose and gob
Oh and is that a nipple ring?
I don’t think you’ll get the job
No please keep your trousers on
I’m sure there’s one thru your knob

ARE YOU WEARING A KILT?

Are you wearing a kilt?
Won’t your extremities wilt?
Well you’re a very hardy guy
And a braver man than I
You are pant less are you not?
Oh so your not a proper Scot
So you’re not very hardy guy
Nor a braver man than I
Well if from tradition you avert
You’re just a man in a skirt

ARE YOU WEARING GLASSES?

Are you wearing glasses?
Because you tire of the passes
But they will ignore the glasses
Worn by girls with nice arses

ARE YOU WEARING SPECTACLES?

Are you wearing spectacles?
To make you look sophisticated
Well I think your expectations
Have unfortunately been bated
You just look a little bookish
Sorry if that leaves you deflated

ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR A BET?

Are you wearing it for a bet?
Well you haven’t won it yet
But I would have to say
You’re worth a pound each way