baye
04-28-2012, 10:43 AM
‘Because she was always there for me!’
The lunar night with a chilly wind, the debris in the school with fragmented roofed buildings, the desperate countenance with a lunatic and heart-slitting laugh, the shut of the sphere world and hence the shut of past love; and the eyes – one pair being despairing grief and ever-longing, the other being anxious worries, confused eagerness, and helpless ardor.
‘You must release me, and so yourself’, the boy claimed enthusiastically, even though he could not, by all means of the power of his counterpart, the girl’s name whereabouts the boy would rather forget his own than hers, and hopelessly continued his impotent persuasion, ‘Go back to your own world and be the goddess there. STOP the pointless while endless murder that even includes murdering your every self, because by doing so you cannot get the happiness that you sincerely long for, but the fathomless despair and anguish. GO BACK NOW!’
‘NO! NEVER! YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND! It’s all your fault! ’ The girl tried to be calm by turning around not to see and to be seen by the boy, yet her voice quivering with uncontrollable passion and despondency. ‘All because your heart is too soft! Why can’t you kill me, when only one of us can survive? So you deliberately avoid the performer of killer, don’t you? And let me be the black face who has to kill her very beloved, and then suffer the rest of her whole life, which is permanent? I don’t care to be a god, all I hope is … is with you … forever … do you understand?’ Suddenly, the sorrowful face turned with a tiny slice of smile, yet still turned in the opposite direction, ‘Yet I won’t kill you. I both have the strength and cleverness to fulfill all your dreams – I will let you live under the world that I designed, where all your dreams are realized, a world only of happiness, without sorrow, without murder, without loss, … and without me and my name.’ No sooner did she finish her last ever conversation with him, than the whole world before him is totally shut, seamless and hopeless.
‘Wait, I don’t want it, Wait … Damn it, why can’t I pronounce your name …’ But it was too late, once and for all, the realistic world is shut, and the new fantastic dreaming world is now becoming his ‘real’ world. Yes, no more wonderful world can be found, or even be imaged, for it is already the perfect. Once his divorced and dead parents are revived and rejoined, merrily and innocently with him, that nothing malevolent, conspiring, and fatal had seemingly ever occurred at all. Moreover, his long-lost wish is satisfied – to see the stars in the beautiful night sky joyfully together with his parents in the highest mountain summit of the zone through the most advanced and his father’s favorite skyscope. Moreover, they are going to see it now, just in this day. Moreover, he has finally lost the misery residing inside his memory, all of the past sadness, loss, pain … and her name and her once existence in a world. Now he is happy, wrapped by the dreams.
Now she was standing in the outer world, the realistic one, alone, in the freezing night, wearing mealy a frock, with the half-moon shimmering slyly above. The moon is exactly half, the cut being accurately through its center – half left, half gone – where has the half-gone gone? Never mind, an exactly duplicate copy is to be found in the new world, the third world – the different world from the first world, where she really came from and became the new time-space goddess, and the second world, where he really came from and fell for her and she him, who was now existing in his dream world, created by her, the goddess of the first world and the second. Never mind, she can find the duplicate of him in the third world definitely, and definitely the perfect copy of him of the second world, who has been serving as the duplicate of the one of the first world in the past, without his own consciousness. But firstly, she had to kill her duplicate of the third world, and replaced her as herself in the third world, and with the duplicate of him, to restart the game in the third world, endlessly. Never mind, she would have him forever, or his duplicates forever.
And he did not know, nor care, nor remember her now, dreaming inside his dreaming world created by her, preparing the very event of seeing the start sight with his warm family. His mother now is, in his dream, preparing the lunch and supper for their picnic of the seeing-star-event. Was he happy? Of course, that he can be with his parents again. Was he happy? Of course, that he can realize his dream of seeing the stars with his parents. Then was he happy? Then why was he sad, tearing, uncontrollably and bewilderingly, as he told his parents, in his dreaming world, that he had a dream last night, which was actually the real event in the real world, that he engaged in a weird game that the contestants of the future diary owners should compete until only one survived and became the new god of the world, where he met a strange girl, who was also a future diary owner and hence his rival, and fell so deeply love for her at the end of the game that he simply couldn’t kill her no matter what. What is more, he even couldn’t remember her name, while couldn’t help feeling so sad, lost and despair, that he couldn’t help pumping out his tears at the very joyous moment of realizing his wish of the seeing-star-event.
‘I love her, because the same reason that I love you,’ he said to his parents in his dreaming world, ‘that she was always there for me.’ Hence he can’t relax in his dream, while letting her suffer in the real world, although he cannot even remember her. He may realize his dream in his dreaming world, the warm harmonious lovely family with his parents, both alive and married, and see the star night that he wished for years. Yet he can’t leave her in the real world alone, repeat the malicious and mournful games again and again in different worlds, becoming the pointless disgusting goddess again and again, and seeing their friends die, while tearing her heart and breaking her hope. He is going to relinquish his dreams, and came back to release her agony once and for all.
And he did release her in the end, entrapped himself instead into the endless misery of being the cursed god, grieving the past memory of her by the last message in his diary 10,000 years ago – ‘Yuno killed herself’, yet not regretting at all. ‘Because she was always there for me!’
-- It is the feelings after watching the anime 'future diary'.
The lunar night with a chilly wind, the debris in the school with fragmented roofed buildings, the desperate countenance with a lunatic and heart-slitting laugh, the shut of the sphere world and hence the shut of past love; and the eyes – one pair being despairing grief and ever-longing, the other being anxious worries, confused eagerness, and helpless ardor.
‘You must release me, and so yourself’, the boy claimed enthusiastically, even though he could not, by all means of the power of his counterpart, the girl’s name whereabouts the boy would rather forget his own than hers, and hopelessly continued his impotent persuasion, ‘Go back to your own world and be the goddess there. STOP the pointless while endless murder that even includes murdering your every self, because by doing so you cannot get the happiness that you sincerely long for, but the fathomless despair and anguish. GO BACK NOW!’
‘NO! NEVER! YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND! It’s all your fault! ’ The girl tried to be calm by turning around not to see and to be seen by the boy, yet her voice quivering with uncontrollable passion and despondency. ‘All because your heart is too soft! Why can’t you kill me, when only one of us can survive? So you deliberately avoid the performer of killer, don’t you? And let me be the black face who has to kill her very beloved, and then suffer the rest of her whole life, which is permanent? I don’t care to be a god, all I hope is … is with you … forever … do you understand?’ Suddenly, the sorrowful face turned with a tiny slice of smile, yet still turned in the opposite direction, ‘Yet I won’t kill you. I both have the strength and cleverness to fulfill all your dreams – I will let you live under the world that I designed, where all your dreams are realized, a world only of happiness, without sorrow, without murder, without loss, … and without me and my name.’ No sooner did she finish her last ever conversation with him, than the whole world before him is totally shut, seamless and hopeless.
‘Wait, I don’t want it, Wait … Damn it, why can’t I pronounce your name …’ But it was too late, once and for all, the realistic world is shut, and the new fantastic dreaming world is now becoming his ‘real’ world. Yes, no more wonderful world can be found, or even be imaged, for it is already the perfect. Once his divorced and dead parents are revived and rejoined, merrily and innocently with him, that nothing malevolent, conspiring, and fatal had seemingly ever occurred at all. Moreover, his long-lost wish is satisfied – to see the stars in the beautiful night sky joyfully together with his parents in the highest mountain summit of the zone through the most advanced and his father’s favorite skyscope. Moreover, they are going to see it now, just in this day. Moreover, he has finally lost the misery residing inside his memory, all of the past sadness, loss, pain … and her name and her once existence in a world. Now he is happy, wrapped by the dreams.
Now she was standing in the outer world, the realistic one, alone, in the freezing night, wearing mealy a frock, with the half-moon shimmering slyly above. The moon is exactly half, the cut being accurately through its center – half left, half gone – where has the half-gone gone? Never mind, an exactly duplicate copy is to be found in the new world, the third world – the different world from the first world, where she really came from and became the new time-space goddess, and the second world, where he really came from and fell for her and she him, who was now existing in his dream world, created by her, the goddess of the first world and the second. Never mind, she can find the duplicate of him in the third world definitely, and definitely the perfect copy of him of the second world, who has been serving as the duplicate of the one of the first world in the past, without his own consciousness. But firstly, she had to kill her duplicate of the third world, and replaced her as herself in the third world, and with the duplicate of him, to restart the game in the third world, endlessly. Never mind, she would have him forever, or his duplicates forever.
And he did not know, nor care, nor remember her now, dreaming inside his dreaming world created by her, preparing the very event of seeing the start sight with his warm family. His mother now is, in his dream, preparing the lunch and supper for their picnic of the seeing-star-event. Was he happy? Of course, that he can be with his parents again. Was he happy? Of course, that he can realize his dream of seeing the stars with his parents. Then was he happy? Then why was he sad, tearing, uncontrollably and bewilderingly, as he told his parents, in his dreaming world, that he had a dream last night, which was actually the real event in the real world, that he engaged in a weird game that the contestants of the future diary owners should compete until only one survived and became the new god of the world, where he met a strange girl, who was also a future diary owner and hence his rival, and fell so deeply love for her at the end of the game that he simply couldn’t kill her no matter what. What is more, he even couldn’t remember her name, while couldn’t help feeling so sad, lost and despair, that he couldn’t help pumping out his tears at the very joyous moment of realizing his wish of the seeing-star-event.
‘I love her, because the same reason that I love you,’ he said to his parents in his dreaming world, ‘that she was always there for me.’ Hence he can’t relax in his dream, while letting her suffer in the real world, although he cannot even remember her. He may realize his dream in his dreaming world, the warm harmonious lovely family with his parents, both alive and married, and see the star night that he wished for years. Yet he can’t leave her in the real world alone, repeat the malicious and mournful games again and again in different worlds, becoming the pointless disgusting goddess again and again, and seeing their friends die, while tearing her heart and breaking her hope. He is going to relinquish his dreams, and came back to release her agony once and for all.
And he did release her in the end, entrapped himself instead into the endless misery of being the cursed god, grieving the past memory of her by the last message in his diary 10,000 years ago – ‘Yuno killed herself’, yet not regretting at all. ‘Because she was always there for me!’
-- It is the feelings after watching the anime 'future diary'.