Love Poem 71

[ShadowsCool]

As long as I have breath in me
My breath will breathe for you.
From the yellow sun
My spirit will burn through,
That's how much I love you.

Thus it is and always will be,
My days will be counted as the stars in the sky;
Of the dawn of time I always was,
Even through the dim of a cloud
I always did love you.

From the primeval of time
When I was sand
I laid out for you,
That when you walked
You would feel who I am.

And when I was air
I became part of you
So that when you inhaled
Your breath went out to the stars
And I was thus formed!

[Buh4Bee]

Love the message! Structurally, it seems to be written in one sitting. BUT sometimes, those are the poems we express our feelings most honestly. I envy the lady you write for. Happy weekend and always a fan.

[ShadowsCool]

Love the message! Structurally, it seems to be written in one sitting. BUT sometimes, those are the poems we express our feelings most honestly. I envy the lady you write for. Happy weekend and always a fan.

Thanks. I wasn't going to post it. Structurally it is weak. I promise not to post anymore like this. When I wrote it, it started out strong. But then I just couldn't get rid of the repeat words that plague it. Oh well, maybe down the road. Thanks for reading Buh4Bee.

[michaelsbearre]

The flow did begin to wane but it's alright man! Good poem either way! There's always rewrites!

[MorpheusSandman]

It's definitely in need of a rewrite and tune up, but it's a lovely sentiment.