View Full Version : A Fool for Spring
ampoule
04-24-2012, 06:52 PM
A Fool For Spring
Do be on the lookout,
A woman stumbling,
Bumbling like a bee full of nectar,
Her eyes glazed, dazed,
Her fragrance-crazed face emerging
From a neighbor's lilac bush,
Drool from her contorted lips
Falling over hidden blooms of grape hyacinths,
Yellow daffodils;
Who, along the road, is known
for uncontrollable gasps and outbursts,
“Look! A redbud!!”
Ampoule, April TwentyFirst, TwoThousandTwelve
Delta40
04-24-2012, 07:09 PM
I could so easily read this as a hard hitting party girl from the night before. In fact, it fits just right in my mind. Probably not without attraction though...!
ampoule
04-25-2012, 07:36 AM
LOL...never thought of that! Thanks, Delta!
Buh4Bee
04-25-2012, 10:12 AM
How could one not enjoy this one? Celebrate spring!
Delta40
04-25-2012, 05:17 PM
LOL...never thought of that! Thanks, Delta!
I don't know about you ampoule but when somebody else interprets my poems differently and I think 'oh yeah!' I marvel at the reader but also how I didn't notice it myself!
ampoule
04-27-2012, 08:18 AM
I don't know about you ampoule but when somebody else interprets my poems differently and I think 'oh yeah!' I marvel at the reader but also how I didn't notice it myself!
I'm right there with you, Delta. Once I let go of a poem, it belongs to the reader.
PrinceMyshkin
04-27-2012, 10:26 AM
So juicy! So full of wise folly! I loved it.
MorpheusSandman
04-27-2012, 11:25 AM
This piece made me smile, ampoule. That last line reminded me of the running joke on Family Guy with James Woods where they're trying to "capture" him by setting out pieces of candy and he keeps following the trail and picking up each piece going "ooh, a piece of candy!" Although, I feel given the subject matter you could've had some more fun by messing the with the form a bit, eg, instead of "centering" it on the page you could've played around with indents and steps and spaces and whatnot. As it is on the page it seems to balanced to reinforce what's being described. But it's a very humorous piece regardless.
AuntShecky
04-27-2012, 05:03 PM
Good to see you posting here again.
The best part of this piece is the opening line.
ampoule
05-02-2012, 09:45 PM
This piece made me smile, ampoule. That last line reminded me of the running joke on Family Guy with James Woods where they're trying to "capture" him by setting out pieces of candy and he keeps following the trail and picking up each piece going "ooh, a piece of candy!" Although, I feel given the subject matter you could've had some more fun by messing the with the form a bit, eg, instead of "centering" it on the page you could've played around with indents and steps and spaces and whatnot. As it is on the page it seems to balanced to reinforce what's being described. But it's a very humorous piece regardless.
Oooo, Morpheus, I really like your suggestions. Thanks!
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