My homelessness poems

[martunia99]

A man on the street
Sitting on the cold ground,
Thinking of his past,
His old home,family and good times he once had.
Now he is sad and lonely,
Trying to get his life back,
Hoping a nice person will put money in his hand.
The weather is not improving,
And neither is his health,
In the cold it is not easy for him to live.
The rain was pouring down,
Again he slept outside,
His only shelter an oak tree in the park.
But maybe one lucky day,
Something good might happen,
A charity might take him of the streets and save him from the darkness.

Homelessness in child's eyes
My mum lost her job,
My dad was always drunk,
It was really no surprise,
When we were thrown out of our house.

The B and B was cosy,
But it was nothing like our home,
I missed my toys and friends,
Longing for the warmth of the fire.

Now we live at my granny's house,
She's very nice to us,
But I'm not sure how long we can stay here,
I hope my life get's back on track.

( My class is working on a homelessness project and we had to write these. I was just wondering if these two poems are good, I'm more a story writer but they were quite fun to write.)

[Delta40]

I think they are honest. They don't hide anything and make pure statements of truth. So if you're looking for that in your project - to bring the point home, then you have filled the criteria. Poetically, I would search for more symbolic ways of relating the state of homelessness which is much more challenging. For example:


The ground is much colder
than the past
which once blanketed him
in the warmth of family and good times.
Now, stripped down to nothing more
than sadness and loneliness,
he begs on the street
to get it back,
coin by coin.
Ah but life's weather is harsh
and his health takes a daily beating.
As his spirit is soaked by rain,
so is his hope.
Only an oak tree in a park
will give him shelter.
Yet under the branch of darkness,
he still dreams of luck,
charity
and light.

This is just a guide and not a criticism of your work at all.

[martunia99]

thanks I'll try to work on that in my future poems

[Delta40]

Good luck martunia. What year are you in?