Nightmare Land

[MystyrMystyry]

In the land where the trees grow down
Dense forests of towering black roots
Like burnt skeletal hands clutch the sky
Mangled ground cracked and gnarled
A twisted red mess of ancient chaos
From sickly green hills and mountains
Noxious rivers fill tar pits and slime lakes
Blue-grey oceans tsunami the rocky coast
A few warring tribes of bony humanoids
Eke out a wretched existence among
Malshapen concrete monuments with
Broken glass eyes peering down like Gods
From a secret dark past while feral cats
Snarl and hiss with flashing fangs


Horrible place

[AuntShecky]

Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

Don't let anyone ever tell you that your imagination ain't unique. You already know how I heart your quirky sensa humah.

The opening image is "fantastic" in every sense of the woid. This has got to be the first time anyone has ever used "tsunami" as a voib.

And I getcha about dem feral cats.

[Delta40]

Great description MM. Loved: A few warring tribes of bony humanoids
ugh! You really have a skill at picking at the living bones of people!

[DocHeart]

Obviously, you've met my ex in-laws.

But seriously, this is beautifully crafted, the imagery is extremely powerful, **accessible to the casual reader** and **original**. It is what directors of horror films only wish they could fathom.

Thanks for sharing!

Best,
DH

[cogs]

love the comparison of a tree that grows down, as if everything in this scene is in chaos. their towering roots, like a skeletal hand, is a powerful simile. the monuments with broken eyes are perhaps a mysterious clue to this land's destruction. i wanted to hear more about them.

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Aunty :)

You like off-beat imagery huh? I've got a head full of it you can gladly have (the images, not my head)

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Delta :)

Bony's a good word I reckon

[martunia99]

Very good poem, I loved it ven tough while reading it I felt a little scared of what was going to happen in the next line.

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Doc :)

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Cogs :)

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Martunia99 :)

[MorpheusSandman]

It's an extremely vivid, nightmarish portrait you've painted here, Mystyr--colorful enough to match your avatar, actually! My only objection is perhaps that it does read more like a portrait, as if it exists on a 2D, atemporal plane. That's not necessarily a bad thing, mind you, but considering its 14 lines are echoing (even if faintly) a sonnet, it does seem to cry out for something like a progression rather than just a long, developed image. I could also quibble over a few of the dictional choices, eg, "dark secret past" reads like something out of a cheap romance novel and its bland abstraction is not worth the vividness of the rest of the descriptions. But these are indeed quibbles as this is a very good piece overall.

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou MorpheusSandman :)