Rome

[Alexander III]

Tender evening in Rome,
Seen from a hill above the ancient ruins;
Cold fires, of a sun melting in the sky.

Over the funeral
A few bright flowers drop,
Like snow from the heavens.

[cacian]

great little piece, intriguing imagery in the second stanza!

[Charles Darnay]

Should it be "fell on a hill"?

[Buh4Bee]

Can someone be sitting watching the sunset?

[Buh4Bee]

The first stanza has "sun" twice and it kills the flow.

[Alexander III]

Thank you all for your comments, i have re-written the poem. The notion i wanted to capture is that of Rome and as a result all human civilizations, as a funeral in motion, but one were the narator is not among the mourning , his cheeks are dry his grief gone and replaced by serenity.

[Alexander III]

down in rome

[Alexander III]

deleted

[Alexander III]

Um why can't I edit and delete my poem?

[Bar22do]

Um why can't I edit and delete my poem?

It becomes impossible after some time. I also experienced that frustration when I wanted to revise an old poem... and I too would like to know the reason...