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soloIQ
04-01-2012, 12:43 AM
Gulp... have a drink
Puff Puff... no way man
F- ing Hippy that's illegal
You drinkers made the plan

Boy if I was still a cop
Ya I'd be in jail
Wait here...need to puke
hold on to that rail

Smoking pot's so bad
At least no one is dying
was mean again to the wife last night
I know I heard her crying

THAT STUFF DOES SMELL GOOD!!!
I'll drive and please don't shout
Do you murmember where I live?
Ya Dad... Just pass out

Hawkman
04-01-2012, 01:43 PM
I really liked this, but again, you need some punctuation, though I don't think quotation marks are necessary. Spacing out some of the words with commas or even a dash (where appropriate) would be a good idea though. It's clever and witty, with a good payoff.

Please remember to only post one thread per 24 hour day though, as per forum rules. Theres nothing to stop you posting several poems in one thread though ;)