The Middle of The Bridge

[Delta40]

Rush hour on the bridge
and the cardboard sign
with its pitiful scrawl
of a violent story
is held down by mishapen feet,
shattered by all the wrong
turns a person could make.
Coins collect in a drooping hat
on a bridge of pedestrians
all heading in the right direction.
There is just enough money
to pay the price of admission
and lose oneself for a while
amid northwest landscapes
in oil and beeswax emulsions,
bronze sculptures and
progressive art.
Or purchase a ticket
at the train station
right back to the hell
those feet limped away from.
Sitting in the middle,
with no real place to go,
it's never too late to jump.

[Hawkman]

This is really good Delta. I do have a bit of a problem with the card being held by the mishapen feet though. Held above, perhaps? I'd also suggest: "...losing onself for a while amid Northwest landscapes in oil..." Lastly I don't think you need stumbled & limped. I think limped is sufficient here.

I think it's a well wrought and sympathetic picture of the hopelessness and desperation of the down and out, on the run from their origins, now in the city where the streets aren't paved with gold. Thanks for the read

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

Edited. Thanks for your guidance Hawk.

[tylerdf]

this is beautiful.
i really dig this.

[tylerdf]

this is really beautiful.
i dig this.

[Delta40]

Thanks for the double review!

[YesNo]

When I read the title, I said to myself "don't jump". I guess the middle of a bridge and jumping sort of goes together. I suspect the guy with sign doesn't need to take a train to get to the bridge. If he does jump there might be someone he's protecting who will be worse off, if that is possible. And then if he does jump it might not be enough to kill him. Oh, well, your poem brought interesting ideas to my mind and I thought I would share them with you.

[Delta40]

Thanks yes/no. I guess the title does invoke ideas.

In Perth there is a pedestrian bridge which has art galleries and theatres at one end and the train station at the other. I cross it each time I go to work and I was inspired by a woman sitting there who I talked to on Friday.

[tylerdf]

oops. thought the first one didnt work.

[Buh4Bee]

I find when reading your poems, you often approach your subject matter with a fresh level of creativity. I liked this one in particular for the ironic humor.

[Delta40]

Yes I suppose there is a degree of ironic humour there which I hadn't considered when writing it. Thanks Buh4bee.

[Haunted]

I didn't get what the "violent story" is... There are plenty of sob stories written on cardboards here on the streets of New York and some are really convincing and sad. I wondered why they weren't writers. But I'm digressing, something I do a lot lately.

The irony of pedestrians heading in "the right direction" works well, considering 'down" might be right for some. The last line is a great pay off.

[Delta40]

I didn't get what the "violent story" is... There are plenty of sob stories written on cardboards here on the streets of New York and some are really convincing and sad.

Domestic violence. Her feet were in really bad shape from her husband stomping on them with his work boots.

[Haunted]

Domestic violence. Her feet were in really bad shape from her husband stomping on them with his work boots.

This puts everything in context for me now when it was esoteric before...

a violent story
is held down by mishapen feet,
shattered by all the wrong
turns a person could make.

Still, what you wrote in your reply makes for a much more powerful and graphic presentation. I'm a sucker for details, so knowing the specifics I appreciate the last line even more.

[Delta40]

It's a shame though Haunted because I don't really like to go into too much detail about the inspiration behind my poetry. What about you?

[Haunted]

I'm the opposite: I dig the nitty gritty — down to every blemish, every mole. To me it's details that makes a creative piece unique. I forgot where I picked that up from, I was trained to think and see microscopically.

[Delta40]

I suppose. But I feel that nitty gritty extinguishes the misty quality of what I'm writing. Oh well, we're all poets with a toolbox I guess and I'm glad you still like the poem :-)

[Haunted]

I dig the nitty gritty precisely because I am incapable of writing misty or grand sweeping. Now the cat is out of the bag!

But whether you know it or not, there is plenty of details in your other poems, and it's the details in your domestic diva poems that set you apart.

[Delta40]

Thanks Haunted.