Ode to a Brick

[Hawkman]

Replete with rectilinear rectitude
face glazed, though pitted
by those cruel vicissitudes of age,
you stand,
supported by your fellows
in that solidarity conferred
by numbers in an English bond.
A thin red line that separates
the inside from the out;
a shield against the weather.

Society cemented you in place,
pointing out your Roman virtue
and though mere clay,
when fired up,
the iron in your flesh
tints durable determination
with a ruddy countenance.

In phalanxes and squares,
marching through towns
and colonising country fields,
you’re here to stay.

[AuntShecky]

Good to see you posting again!

Interesting take on an ordinary object -- a somewhat durable rectangle composed of a heated mixture of such mundane materials as clay and straw and yet for centuries has served as a building block for various civilizations. Bricks do, however, crumble in time as well as having the quality of turning a structure into a veritable furnace in extremely hot weather. During a heat wave in Chicago about a decade ago hundreds of people , especially older citizens, who lived in apartments in brick buildings, perished.

Still, this piece serves to show that a skilled writer can write a poem about anything. Your choice of a so-called "homely" object as your subject is something you share with the 17th century metaphysical poets such as Donne.

[Hawkman]

Hi Auntie, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. JD was a bit of a gap in my reading to be honest. I decided to rectify this a while back and bought a book of his stuff, though so far I have only glanced at it - too many other books to read! ;) I keep getting distracted from Herodotus - so far by Mary Shelly and Joseph Conrad. I read Frankenstein some 20 years ago, and as it was available as a free iBook I read it again. It has a liberal sprinkling of plot holes! Still ploughing through Heart of Darkness.

With regard to my poem, I'm most gratified that it seems to meet with your approval. Hope you enjoyed the punning and wordplay :D Of course, over here, we seldom get heatwaves which are capable transforming a house into a kiln, so we're fairly safe - lol.

Live and be well - H

[Haunted]

this piece serves to show that a skilled writer can write a poem about anything.

Ditto.

The cultural richness that you attached to this mundane object exalts it to becoming an exquisite item, it's alchemy by poetry. This is a piece worthy of study by neophytes and even someone who's been writing for a while, namely myself.

[Hawkman]

Thanks Haunted, you are too kind ;) A little playful punning helps the poetry go down - lol.

Live and be well - H

[Buh4Bee]

Hawk-
These are great lines to exemplify how simple writing can express many ideas simultaneously.

A thin red line that separates
the inside from the out;
a shield against the weather.

Nice one!

[Delta40]

Remarkable writing Hawk. I love how you portray the brick, like a soldier waiting in line, life fired into it, to march like troops across the country in the final stanza.

[Hawkman]

B4B & Delta: Thank you both for reading and appreciating this little piece. If it has a flaw it is probably in the gratuitous alliteration in the first line. Silly really as it was the first line that inspired the poem, but I have neglected to slaughter my baby on this occasion. :D I have exposed it, but it has not succumbed to the elements :devil:

Once one has a "thin red line" one merely wants for "deadly Russian shot and Cossak spears" - lol. (how else can one carve one's way to glory?) ;)

Live and be well - H

[smerdyakov]

Robust stuff, Hawk. Great weaving of metaphor and some nice wordplay in this one. Won't repeat what's already been said. I enjoyed reading it. Well done.
I also get the impression that you're leaving it up to the reader whether you are extolling or deriding soldiers in general. Nice one.

[_Paul]

I concur with the positive feedback and really enjoyed the poem. The use of metaphor, alliteration and wordplay here is exemplary. Although I disagree with smerdyakov, I believe it is quite apparent the poem is praising soldiers.

[Gertrude73]

http://www.infoocean.info/avatar2.jpgWith regard to my poem, I'm most gratified that it seems to meet with your approval.

[Hawkman]

smerdyakov, & Paul: Thanks to you both for reading and enjoying the poem. I confess it never really occurred to me that the poem would be interpreted as any kind of comment on soldiers. Essentially it's a poem about a brick and the references to a thin red line and squares were merely metaphorical images. I doubt if there are any armies who habitually wear red uniforms (except in ceremonial duties) in this day and age. Red is a rather visible colour on a battlefield and tends to make a chap a prominent target for anyone with a half-decent rifle! :D

Gertrude73: ???????? (but thanks for the bump.


Live and be well - H

[_Paul]

smerdyakov, & Paul: Thanks to you both for reading and enjoying the poem. I confess it never really occurred to me that the poem would be interpreted as any kind of comment on soldiers. Essentially it's a poem about a brick and the references to a thin red line and squares were merely metaphorical images. I doubt if there are any armies who habitually wear red uniforms (except in ceremonial duties) in this day and age. Red is a rather visible colour on a battlefield and tends to make a chap a prominent target for anyone with a half-decent rifle! :D

Gertrude73: ???????? (but thanks for the bump.


Live and be well - H
I remember my English teacher said far more thought goes into the analyzing than into the actual creation of literature.

You should have kept quiet. It really is a good poem about soldiers! :thumbs_up

[DocHeart]

This is skillfully crafted and original - the kind of originality that comes when art transforms an ordinary theme into a poem. Thank you for sharing, Hawk.

Also, I agree with Buh4Bee above - the last three lines of S1 are beautifully done.

Best regards,
DH

[Hawkman]

Thanks Doc, you are too kind! Delighted you enjoyed it so much :)

Live and be well - H