PDA

View Full Version : She Walks in Beauty with a Clipboard



hallaig
03-28-2012, 06:57 AM
She Walks in Beauty with a Clipboard
(Or The Limitations of Poetry)


I see you in the distance.
It is grey today, not burgundy, your dress.
You are not walking like the night,
though there is a tiredness there
as you move out of sight behind the scaffolding.
I am a poet, so desperate to liken you to something,
but you are not a red rose or a fever, or a bright star,
or even a spring day like this one,
with light stretched like fabric across hot glass.
You don’t have a radiance or corona about you
but what looked to me like a clipboard.
My heart didn’t ignite or melt when I looked up
if it had, how could I still be here staring moodily
into the middle distance drinking coffee?
There would have been defibrillation.
Poetry doesn’t solve a thing, map skills
would be better, then at least I could find you,
not your essence, or anything at all that’s wordy,
just touch for a moment ineffable you.

qimissung
03-28-2012, 11:38 PM
I don't think you proved your point, hallaig. This is so sweetly serious and beautiful, such a loving contemplation of a beloved. It reminds me of that Shakesperean sonnet..."my mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun..." although the tone of yours is completely different.

PrinceMyshkin
03-30-2012, 09:15 AM
I love this, the way the poetry of it seems to lift, effortlessly out of literal, everyday longing.

Delta40
03-30-2012, 09:44 AM
I agree with the above. Despite its non-romance efforts, the point is still made including a dose of humour.

Buh4Bee
03-31-2012, 07:45 PM
I too found this to be so damn sincere that you can't overlook the expression of emotional depth that this piece carries. There have been so many bad love poems on the forum lately, but by comparison this is very good.