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RollupsandBeer
03-20-2012, 04:38 PM
the end is nigh my friend,
my hands are washed my nails are clean
i have sought solace in a gallon of whiskey
only to be drowned by wasteful pity
if only i had cheekbones highlighted by the moon
if only i had a line to punctuate this silent room
if only i had a weapon by my side ,
a drill, a look, a quip to lift this gloom.
the end is nigh, but not to soon,
if only i had an arrow to pierce this gloom

he was a sorry man but will be missed
by all he loved and all he kissed
i have to pause
to hold a smirk,
he was a loser a ****ing jerk

Delta40
03-20-2012, 06:35 PM
the first verse sounds rather suicidal while the second, almost a eulogy. I'm not sure about the line: if only i had cheekbones highlighted by the moon. Firstly, its rhythm doesn't flow with the poem and secondly, why?

I'm loathe to say similar words (esp the end is nigh) have been written a million times, yet they still manage to convey that sense of desperate pain so familiar to many.

Buh4Bee
03-20-2012, 06:54 PM
XXXXXXXXXXXx

Cheers!

RollupsandBeer
03-20-2012, 07:42 PM
I know its Sh*t, but we all got to poo sometime !!
and I confess it's badly written and was rushed.

The line starting "a dill.." was meant to be something else and "dill" was a typo. However as you might have guessed the whiskey drowned my concentration and I can't remember what I meant to say.

The second verse is a response to the self pitying nonsense of the first verse.

I appreciate the comments, thanks

Jerrybaldy
03-21-2012, 06:51 PM
RollupsandBeer. Two of lifes staples. As I wander off muttering, I think you can fill my shoes. Be bad.