RollupsandBeer
03-19-2012, 03:27 PM
I knew she would be there with him.
But I couldn't drag myself away. I went as well.
When I arrived, she and I made eye contact briefly, before I averted my stare and shuffled with the crowd to the edge of the gathering.
Then the speech was over and the sobbing began. I lingered. Sitting on a heavy rock at the edge of the lake.
Waiting, I gazed over it's enormous reach. It's stillness.
There was no tide. No swimming birds navigated it's breadth. No fish swam in it's gloomy embrace.
As I ponder it's depth, she approaches.
She sits in front of me. On a corpse, mostly submerged under the freezing water. Her odour is overwhelming. Heavy with noxious fumes.
She is relaxed. There is no tension in her frame.
It's late. But no birds sing, no animals hunt or hide.
As she sits, we smile and she asks, "What did you think"?
"That was powerful. It really spoke to me". I lean close, grinning. Making sure she has a chance to see my rotting teeth.
She exhales and I breath in her foetid stench.
She asks calmly, "Who did you come over with"?
Nervously, I pick a scab from my earlobe, "I just arrived myself".
She pauses, wiping the leaking blond from her nose onto her hand then onto my thigh.
"I saw you come in. You should have come and admired with Gerry and me"
Staring at the shadow of her frown I respond, "I didn't want to impose"
"Gerry and me love the rapture. You wouldn't have been imposing"
"I know you do. That's why I didn't want to join you then make anyone uncomfortable"
"What's there to be uncomfortable about ?" She tugs at her unbrushed hair.
"Well. I would be uncomfortable, and nervous. I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone.
I wouldn't be able to engage in the spirit."
She slowly squashes a fat sluggish fly against my thigh. "There's no point worrying about that any more"
As she breathes those words on me, the sun dips below the lake.
We are silhouetted by the moon. Dark, blind.
"But I do worry about it! We loved the rapture. We spent our lives devoted. I thought we were forever."
She doesn't react. her hand continues to wipe the remains of the fly against my leg.
Her breathing is steady. Still, menacing, like the lake. "I know you are sad baby, I know you are sore. But we can't go back. I have made my choice".
My bowel releases, I slump into the thick lake. Its cold blanket hugging me. Her words drowning me.
Sinking, I say, "I always wanted you more than I wanted the rapture."
She doesn't breath. She slides into the water. Holding my head in her nail bitten hands.
"You only ever felt your own pain. Never anybody else's pain"
Her hand pulling on my head is colder than the icy lake.
I can't see her features. The lake is thick and I am blind beneath it. Her broken fingers pull me down.
When she releases me, she will go to him, forever. And I will sink deeper into this bottomless lake.
But I couldn't drag myself away. I went as well.
When I arrived, she and I made eye contact briefly, before I averted my stare and shuffled with the crowd to the edge of the gathering.
Then the speech was over and the sobbing began. I lingered. Sitting on a heavy rock at the edge of the lake.
Waiting, I gazed over it's enormous reach. It's stillness.
There was no tide. No swimming birds navigated it's breadth. No fish swam in it's gloomy embrace.
As I ponder it's depth, she approaches.
She sits in front of me. On a corpse, mostly submerged under the freezing water. Her odour is overwhelming. Heavy with noxious fumes.
She is relaxed. There is no tension in her frame.
It's late. But no birds sing, no animals hunt or hide.
As she sits, we smile and she asks, "What did you think"?
"That was powerful. It really spoke to me". I lean close, grinning. Making sure she has a chance to see my rotting teeth.
She exhales and I breath in her foetid stench.
She asks calmly, "Who did you come over with"?
Nervously, I pick a scab from my earlobe, "I just arrived myself".
She pauses, wiping the leaking blond from her nose onto her hand then onto my thigh.
"I saw you come in. You should have come and admired with Gerry and me"
Staring at the shadow of her frown I respond, "I didn't want to impose"
"Gerry and me love the rapture. You wouldn't have been imposing"
"I know you do. That's why I didn't want to join you then make anyone uncomfortable"
"What's there to be uncomfortable about ?" She tugs at her unbrushed hair.
"Well. I would be uncomfortable, and nervous. I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone.
I wouldn't be able to engage in the spirit."
She slowly squashes a fat sluggish fly against my thigh. "There's no point worrying about that any more"
As she breathes those words on me, the sun dips below the lake.
We are silhouetted by the moon. Dark, blind.
"But I do worry about it! We loved the rapture. We spent our lives devoted. I thought we were forever."
She doesn't react. her hand continues to wipe the remains of the fly against my leg.
Her breathing is steady. Still, menacing, like the lake. "I know you are sad baby, I know you are sore. But we can't go back. I have made my choice".
My bowel releases, I slump into the thick lake. Its cold blanket hugging me. Her words drowning me.
Sinking, I say, "I always wanted you more than I wanted the rapture."
She doesn't breath. She slides into the water. Holding my head in her nail bitten hands.
"You only ever felt your own pain. Never anybody else's pain"
Her hand pulling on my head is colder than the icy lake.
I can't see her features. The lake is thick and I am blind beneath it. Her broken fingers pull me down.
When she releases me, she will go to him, forever. And I will sink deeper into this bottomless lake.