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Ancient Mariner
03-17-2012, 07:25 AM
The Fancy Poet

It is ten PM and the poet must get to work.
Excogitates most beautiful words,
Makes the first line of the verse.
Mention of a gorgeous woman,
It is Inherent to all art.
Metaphors are requisite,
Compare her to stars above,
Her lips to roses red and her face to that of a dove.

Which reader is foolish enough,
To confuse a woman with heaven’s stars?
Take my advice, poetic friend,
With the pen, you’re wasting your hours.
If beautiful your woman was,
You wouldn’t need to make a fuss.
If beautiful your woman was,
Your poem would have had purpose.

The poet throws more words,
Into his new hybrid poem.
Cardiac ability of endless love,
For a lunar faced woman.
Poems need not make sense,
Their own meanings must readers make,
For the juxtaposition of words,
Many meanings which may take.

Don’t be silly, dear fancy poet,
People tread now on the moon.
With their shoes and their machines,
You lover’s face they mar.
How can a human face,
Rival in whiteness, the moon?
She looks well in human colour,
Why portray her as a cartoon?

Impressive I have to sound,
Open the poetic thesaurus book.
Pick words they never saw,
My epic poem, is too good to get.
Good art is never known,
Marvel at the magnificence,
You could never have achieved,
Such poetic incoherence.

Fool, you make me sick,
Good art do you disgrace.
If it doesn’t make sense,
Then in this world it hasn’t a place.
Art should change beholder’s life,
Objective purpose, it must have.
If your purpose isn’t sure,
Then your poetry is impure.

Must finish it by ten-thirty,
The template is almost filled.
Another masterpiece I create,
Heartbreak, the final content.
Immune to criticism I am,
You may bark as you wish,
The real judges are my readers,
And my work they do cherish.

Your readers, you know are fools,
What perplexes them, they praise.
Pretending to know complexity,
They pose to have rich taste.
No one really likes your work,
They pretend and they conform.
It is fashion to praise gibberish,
They praise to follow fad.
Haven’t you known all along,
That the only judge is you?
Haven’t you known all along,
That I’m only a part of you?

Ancient Mariner
03-17-2012, 09:02 AM
Do leave comments please.

Buh4Bee
03-17-2012, 10:12 AM
This is AWESOME! I laughed out loud a couple of times. It also has a nice sincere quality at the end.

Ancient Mariner
03-17-2012, 11:15 AM
Thanks Buh4Bee. Good to get a reply since this is the first thing I've posted here.

Buh4Bee
03-17-2012, 12:55 PM
You're pretty opinionated for being a first time poster.

Delta40
03-17-2012, 06:05 PM
Thank God I write for my own pleasure first! I'm thinking you might not care too much about the flow of this poem so much as its message but if you do, its rhythm doesn't hold too well and its awfully bumpy in places and of course as to content, it is rather presumptious to 'know' others at anytime and then speak as if you were an authority. Having said that, I enjoyed the wit contained within many of the lines.

Ancient Mariner
03-18-2012, 03:45 AM
@Buh4Bee: First time poster though not a first time writer.

@Delta40: Thanks for your review. You're right I wasn't much concerned about the flow of this poem but it is something that I have to get better at. And about the content being presumptuous, I don't mind it being that, it's supposed to be that way.

Jerrybaldy
03-19-2012, 08:23 PM
Very well spotted ! Love your cynicism. Now write another :D

Buh4Bee
03-22-2012, 08:45 PM
Or some may think you are a first time writer.

Carolie86
03-22-2012, 09:04 PM
You're right I wasn't much concerned about the flow of this poem but it is something that I have to get better athttp://www.infoocean.info/avatar2.jpg

Ancient Mariner
03-24-2012, 04:18 AM
Thanks Jerrybaldy, I will write another when I have something to write about.

@Carolie85: Your point?

Buh4Bee
03-24-2012, 07:48 AM
Really? You think people are that stupid? This person has 2 avatars!

Ancient Mariner
03-24-2012, 07:53 AM
@Buh4Bee: What?

AuntShecky
03-24-2012, 01:52 PM
I'd suggest a quick refresher course in scansion, rhyme, and punctuation, especially the use of the comma. Also, avoid "wrenching"-- using convoluted constructions in order to make the meter and/or rhyme "fit." There are quite a few instances of inverted syntax --"Yoda" speech-- in your piece. Try to write lines that are a little less awkward, as well as sounding as if they had been written in 2012.

I wish I could tell you that the subject of your piece is brand-new and fresh; alas, it has been around for three hundred and one years in a work that embodies the line "What oft was thought but ne'er so well expressed." You can read it here. (http://poetry.eserver.org/essay-on-criticism.html)


Despite all this, I do hope you return to the LitNet and post something. We might offer constructive criticism, but I promise you we'll make an effort to be nice. (And feel free to reciprocate by posting comments on the work of other LitNutters.)

Ancient Mariner
03-25-2012, 02:26 PM
AuntShecky, thanks for the suggestions. However, I must say that in this poem, I didn't intend to be technically pleasing. In fact, following a certain meter would have made me seem like the template following, impressively poetic person I am criticizing in this poem. I can't sit down to write a poem and have only a limited set of words to choose from, making sure that a stressed syllable follows an unstressed one. That would be more like solving math problems. I have to write with a huge amount of freedom.

But having said that, I am willing to experiment with my poem writing and will try to write one completely in Iambic Pentameter just to see how it goes. This particular poem was a rule-breaking rebel, but not every poem I write will be that. So I do need to make my poetry more fluent without restricting freedom. I think I should take care of the number of syllables in each line. I rather like Yoda speech as it brings emphasis on the important part of the sentence.

And I haven't yet read the poem in your link, I will but I know that my subject isn't new. I'm aware of a Shakespeare sonnet with a similar theme. In the long history of the world, every subject has probably been covered.

Do not take this reply to mean that your comments are not welcome because they sure are.