After 6 painfully long years...

[Adolescent09]

... and much coming and going, entrances and departures, sadness and joy I have finally reached my 1000th post! I don't really think anyone should care but it means a lot to me because when I think about where I was six years ago, I know that if it hadn't been for some people I met in my life and God I would not be here today. And because of everything that I have been through in my past, I can now confidently say that I feel optimistic about my future.

So in honor of this small occasion of celebration for me and also to get to know all of the relatively new faces around here...I would like to know where were you six years ago, where are you now, and where do you see yourself six years from now?

I'll start this off. Six years ago I was a dyspeptic 15 year old who wanted the world to revolve around him when he didn't realize that he was not the center of attention and there were millions of other adolescents who were going through exactly what he was going through. I broke things, I was abusive, I cursed at my parent and I was neglectful (mainly because I was neglected).

Today, six years later, I am still irascible at times but I have better control over my behavior. I care more about other people's thoughts and life stories and I put my immediate wants behind the needs of others. I am diligent, I care more about my mother's feelings and I try my hardest to empathize with a single woman doing everything she can to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads.

Six years from now I see myself graduating from college with a clearer more goal-oriented focus on life. I see myself in medical school at either Yale or Johns Hopkins doing what that younger, angry boy always wanted to do but never had the words or courage to do: simply help others.

So that's enough of me for now. What about you all?

[Pensive]

Painfully long? My time passed quickly like wings of the wind! :D

[Adolescent09]

Painfully long? My time passed quickly like wings of the wind! :D

Good for you! I'm happy to hear that. I wish it had for me :(. But I guess time passes by slower when you are young.

edit: not to imply that you aren't young. I don't know how old you are, sorry lol.

[Darcy88]

That's great. I also just hit the 1000 post mark, though it look less than half the time it took you. I have enjoyed your posts of late as well as the brilliant poetry you recently shared.

Six years ago I was an entirely different person. I didn't read. I weighed 85 more pounds than I weigh now. I was angry and depressed. I really didn't do much else but drink, smoke and lift weights. The year before I was on academic probation because I literally had amassed the worst attendance record in the history of my high school, something I was and still am rather proud of.

So at the commencement of my senior year, 6 or 7 years ago, I had to pick a science to take, as you need at least one in order to graduate. I wanted to pick the easiest one, earth sciences or some such slacker course, but my TA, the vice principal, Mr McKinnon, said "Brendan, I know you've had a lot of issues in your time here, but I want you to take biology or chemistry. I think you can do it. That way if God forbid you should want to seek post-secondary education, you will be able to." So I did. I was working as a security guard doing graveyard shifts. Bored as hell I thought heck, why not study? I wound up getting the best mark in the class. The teacher said to me once "you don't look smart." Every time the teacher posted the cummulative marks for the entire class this skinny four-eyed nerdy type would give me the dirtiest fiendish looks.

Then at the very end of the year,right before graduation and after again being persuaded by McKinnon to take an academic course, this time english, I was surprised at the outcome. He stopped me in the hall one day with a jubilantly beaming face and literally dragged me into his office. He went to his desk, pulled out a bunch of papers and said "Brendan! You got the best mark on your english final in the entire school! 98 percent!" I couldn't believe it. Someone who had gotten by on c minuses for years, someone everyone but McKinnon had written off as a dumb****, had out-achieved in english of all things every nerd and teacher's pet in the whole graduating class.

That day, instead of hitting the barbells and then going out and hitting the whisky I went to a used book store and spent 200 dollars on books. Then the day after I signed up for a full slate of courses at the college here. I quit drinking, quit seeing all my old friends, devoted myself for the next 6 years wholly to books, first poetry and novels, then philosophy, then the classics, and now all of it. To my grade 11 guidance counsellor who actually (and I'm not making this up) insinuated that I should just drop out of school and go work in construction as I had been in the summers I sent a copy of my first year's all A pluses transcript and the little pin I got along with my academic award for achieving a GPA just a hair under 4.

Mckinnon is a hero to me. Its people like him who show how big a difference a person occupying a humble station in this life can make. Because of him I am seriously considering becoming a high school teacher.

[cacian]

Well what is there to say, after 1,096 posts it seems I only beginning:lol:
I am not that far a visionary when it comes to what I am going to do, I tend to live life as it comes.

[Helga]

wow Darcy that is a big change!

Six years ago I was pregnant, in a hospital and so very unhappy. Today I have a kid that is almost six years old, I am in school and not unhappy.

[qimissung]

Wow, adolescent09, Darcy, and Helga, those stories are mighty powerful! It is one of the pleasures of lit-net that you get to "meet" people from all around the world and from all stages of life. I am really, really glad you all have so amazingly turned your lives around, brought order to your chaos and began the delightful process of finding yourselves.

I'm happy for you, too, cacian. Living well and in the moment is no mean feat, as Helga, Darcy and adolescent09 can attest too.

Six years ago I was on the cusp of one of the most difficult periods of my life, although I did not know it at the time: my sons' adolesence. I was worried, but hopeful, but alas, good things were not to be.

They plunged headlong into the darker side of life and are only just now coming out on the other side. They made some decisions that will affect them for years to come and probably burned some bridges, but they are alive, and they do seem to, finally, be thinking about their futures. My son who is 22 is more himself than he has been in years. Not to go all Celine on ya'll but we really are on the cusp of a new day in our lives, and I am once again filled with hope.

On the professional side, I have worked in an inner-city school for years. But it's time for a change. Since "No Child Left Behind", and our hardest times do date from the passage of that law, our administrators have been manipulative and cruel. I can't ignore my increasing unhappiness. Due to economic factors they are riffing several times a year, so I don't even know if I'll have a job or be there next year, so I'm doing some thinking about the next phase of my life. I'm not sure yet the direction it will go in, but I hope it will include art, languages, and travel. This is my personal committment to myself-that never again will I work in such a toxic atmosphere. I really wanted to work with those kids, so I'm not sorry I stayed.

But that's over now. It's time to move on.

[Darcy88]

Wow, adolescent09, Darcy, and Helga, those stories are mighty powerful! It is one of the pleasures of lit-net that you get to "meet" people from all around the world and from all stages of life. I am really, really glad you all have so amazingly turned your lives around, brought order to your chaos and began the delightful process of finding yourselves.

I'm happy for you, too, cacian. Living well and in the moment is no mean feat, as Helga, Darcy and adolescent09 can attest too.

Six years ago I was on the cusp of one of the most difficult periods of my life, although I did not know it at the time: my sons' adolesence. I was worried, but hopeful, but alas, good things were not to be.

They plunged headlong into the darker side of life and are only just now coming out on the other side. They made some decisions that will affect them for years to come and probably burned some bridges, but they are alive, and they do seem to, finally, be thinking about their futures. My son who is 22 is more himself than he has been in years. Not to go all Celine on ya'll but we really are on the cusp of a new day in our lives, and I am once again filled with hope.

On the professional side, I have worked in an inner-city school for years. But it's time for a change. Since "No Child Left Behind", and our hardest times do date from the passage of that law, our administrators have been manipulative and cruel. I can't ignore my increasing unhappiness. Due to economic factors they are riffing several times a year, so I don't even know if I'll have a job or be there next year, so I'm doing some thinking about the next phase of my life. I'm not sure yet the direction it will go in, but I hope it will include art, languages, and travel. This is my personal committment to myself-that never again will I work in such a toxic atmosphere. I really wanted to work with those kids, so I'm not sorry I stayed.

But that's over now. It's time to move on.

You say your son is 22. I didn't really begin to blossom into a strong well-functioning young man until I reached the age of 21. Before then it appeared by all signs I wouldn't pull through the many difficulties and struggles I was going through. My close friend was a drug-dealing depressive meat-head until age 25 and is now in his third year at a good university and passionate about politics and knowledge. Anyway. I'm glad to hear your son is doing better. He's still SO young too.

Education is a suffering both sides of the border it appears. There is now taking place a nasty battle between teachers and the government in my own province. The government wants unlimited class sizes and reduced special aid for learning disabled children. Its rough.

Keep on keeping on gimissung.

[cafolini]

... and much coming and going, entrances and departures, sadness and joy I have finally reached my 1000th post! I don't really think anyone should care but it means a lot to me because when I think about where I was six years ago, I know that if it hadn't been for some people I met in my life and God I would not be here today. And because of everything that I have been through in my past, I can now confidently say that I feel optimistic about my future.

So in honor of this small occasion of celebration for me and also to get to know all of the relatively new faces around here...I would like to know where were you six years ago, where are you now, and where do you see yourself six years from now?

I'll start this off. Six years ago I was a dyspeptic 15 year old who wanted the world to revolve around him when he didn't realize that he was not the center of attention and there were millions of other adolescents who were going through exactly what he was going through. I broke things, I was abusive, I cursed at my parent and I was neglectful (mainly because I was neglected).

Today, six years later, I am still irascible at times but I have better control over my behavior. I care more about other people's thoughts and life stories and I put my immediate wants behind the needs of others. I am diligent, I care more about my mother's feelings and I try my hardest to empathize with a single woman doing everything she can to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads.

Six years from now I see myself graduating from college with a clearer more goal-oriented focus on life. I see myself in medical school at either Yale or Johns Hopkins doing what that younger, angry boy always wanted to do but never had the words or courage to do: simply help others.

So that's enough of me for now. What about you all?

I tend to agtree with you that growing up is painful, whether you end up wanting to help others or making them sick so that you can help them.:nod:

[qimissung]

Thanks, Darcy. Here's to growing up. :cheers2:

[Adolescent09]

That's great. I also just hit the 1000 post mark, though it look less than half the time it took you. I have enjoyed your posts of late as well as the brilliant poetry you recently shared.

Six years ago I was an entirely different person. I didn't read. I weighed 85 more pounds than I weigh now. I was angry and depressed. I really didn't do much else but drink, smoke and lift weights. The year before I was on academic probation because I literally had amassed the worst attendance record in the history of my high school, something I was and still am rather proud of.

So at the commencement of my senior year, 6 or 7 years ago, I had to pick a science to take, as you need at least one in order to graduate. I wanted to pick the easiest one, earth sciences or some such slacker course, but my TA, the vice principal, Mr McKinnon, said "Brendan, I know you've had a lot of issues in your time here, but I want you to take biology or chemistry. I think you can do it. That way if God forbid you should want to seek post-secondary education, you will be able to." So I did. I was working as a security guard doing graveyard shifts. Bored as hell I thought heck, why not study? I wound up getting the best mark in the class. The teacher said to me once "you don't look smart." Every time the teacher posted the cummulative marks for the entire class this skinny four-eyed nerdy type would give me the dirtiest fiendish looks.

Then at the very end of the year,right before graduation and after again being persuaded by McKinnon to take an academic course, this time english, I was surprised at the outcome. He stopped me in the hall one day with a jubilantly beaming face and literally dragged me into his office. He went to his desk, pulled out a bunch of papers and said "Brendan! You got the best mark on your english final in the entire school! 98 percent!" I couldn't believe it. Someone who had gotten by on c minuses for years, someone everyone but McKinnon had written off as a dumb****, had out-achieved in english of all things every nerd and teacher's pet in the whole graduating class.

That day, instead of hitting the barbells and then going out and hitting the whisky I went to a used book store and spent 200 dollars on books. Then the day after I signed up for a full slate of courses at the college here. I quit drinking, quit seeing all my old friends, devoted myself for the next 6 years wholly to books, first poetry and novels, then philosophy, then the classics, and now all of it. To my grade 11 guidance counsellor who actually (and I'm not making this up) insinuated that I should just drop out of school and go work in construction as I had been in the summers I sent a copy of my first year's all A pluses transcript and the little pin I got along with my academic award for achieving a GPA just a hair under 4.

Mckinnon is a hero to me. Its people like him who show how big a difference a person occupying a humble station in this life can make. Because of him I am seriously considering becoming a high school teacher.

This story really moved me Darcy88. I truly believe that it is the people who stick with us to the very end, through thick and thin, who motivate us to look past our own shortcoming when everyone else percieves a failure... they are the true heroes as you said. I might have had some misconceptions about this years ago, but today I believe we all have a Mckinnon somewhere out there in the world whether it be someone we know personally or someone we meet online. Sometimes that source of inspiration is buried deep within us, just bursting to ensue forth through a bit of hard work, struggle, and experience overall. Again I liked reading your story, thanks for appreciating my poems, and I look forward to seeing more of your posts on these forums.

[Adolescent09]

Wow, adolescent09, Darcy, and Helga, those stories are mighty powerful! It is one of the pleasures of lit-net that you get to "meet" people from all around the world and from all stages of life. I am really, really glad you all have so amazingly turned your lives around, brought order to your chaos and began the delightful process of finding yourselves.

I'm happy for you, too, cacian. Living well and in the moment is no mean feat, as Helga, Darcy and adolescent09 can attest too.

Six years ago I was on the cusp of one of the most difficult periods of my life, although I did not know it at the time: my sons' adolesence. I was worried, but hopeful, but alas, good things were not to be.

They plunged headlong into the darker side of life and are only just now coming out on the other side. They made some decisions that will affect them for years to come and probably burned some bridges, but they are alive, and they do seem to, finally, be thinking about their futures. My son who is 22 is more himself than he has been in years. Not to go all Celine on ya'll but we really are on the cusp of a new day in our lives, and I am once again filled with hope.

On the professional side, I have worked in an inner-city school for years. But it's time for a change. Since "No Child Left Behind", and our hardest times do date from the passage of that law, our administrators have been manipulative and cruel. I can't ignore my increasing unhappiness. Due to economic factors they are riffing several times a year, so I don't even know if I'll have a job or be there next year, so I'm doing some thinking about the next phase of my life. I'm not sure yet the direction it will go in, but I hope it will include art, languages, and travel. This is my personal committment to myself-that never again will I work in such a toxic atmosphere. I really wanted to work with those kids, so I'm not sorry I stayed.

But that's over now. It's time to move on.

Hey qimissung! I'm so happy to hear that your sons are doing well and you have more hope for their futures. Your son who is 22 is just a year older than me! I've always wanted to get to know young men and women at or near my age. What is he doing in life and how is he coming along? Best wishes :). (also, your avatar is from the Signet Classivs version of Hugo's Les Miserables which just so happens to be my favorite book! Is it your favorite book as well?)

[Delta40]

Congratulations Adolescent09! Six years ago I had a couple of rebellious, tear away teenage daughters. I was working full time as a single parent trying to put food on the table and keep them in school, while trying to get my degree. Now they've both left home and have jobs. Phew! I work part time now and over the next six years the house will be paid off, I'll still be working but also holidaying and giving more time to myself.

[Adolescent09]

Congratulations Adolescent09! Six years ago I had a couple of rebellious, tear away teenage daughters. I was working full time as a single parent trying to put food on the table and keep them in school, while trying to get my degree. Now they've both left home and have jobs. Phew! I work part time now and over the next six years the house will be paid off, I'll still be working but also holidaying and giving more time to myself.

Sounds like great news Delta40. Cheers to happy endings! :cheers2: How old are your daughters now, if you don't mind me asking?

[Hildegard52]

Not to go all Celine on ya'll but we really are on the cusp of a new day in our lives, and I am once again filled with hope.http://www.datasea.info/avatar2.jpg

[Delta40]

Sounds like great news Delta40. Cheers to happy endings! :cheers2: How old are your daughters now, if you don't mind me asking?

lol. I wouldn't say cheers to happy endings so much as cheers to new beginnings! They're 20 & 22.