21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 5

[Biggus]

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 247

John Cook was riding down the road
Pedalling fast
He hit a pothole
And has ridden his last

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 248

To market, to market, to buy a plum cake;
Make sure it’s a plum cake, don’t make a mistake
I don’t want a Battenberg at any price
Because it is foreign and not very nice

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 251

Mary hand a little lamb
The sweetest lamb devised
But when all said and done
The midwife was surprised

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 253

There once was a lady named Paddy Rabbitt
Who had a flat in Tower Bridge she did inhabit
But no one would believe it
Not a living soul would have it
That a flat in Tower Bridge housed Paddy Rabbitt

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 246

John Cook was riding up
Shooter's Hill,
Pedalling fast
Pedestrians scattering to avoid being killed

[AuntShecky]

Believe me, I know that writing these isn't as easy as it might look.

The following are dedicated to you, Biggus:

Nursery Rhymes for the New Millennium

I.

There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe--
not as comfy as a condo,
but the cheaper rent would do.

II.

Mary, Mary quite contrary,
how fragrantly your garden grows
with oregano
and cilantro
and cannibis by the kilos.


III.
Simple Simon went a-buyin’
at the Gun Show Jamboree.
Said Simple Simon to the salesman,
“Want to see my photo I.D.?”

The salesman laughed a little while,
and then he told him, “No!
And no stinkin’ background check!
Just let me see your dough.”


IV.
Smoke rings ‘round the rosy,
smoking butts in the back–
Ashes, ashes,
Fourteen bucks the pack.

[Biggus]

Thanks Aunty they're great