Slapping

[PMLondonderry]

I was watching a clip online today and a woman slapped a man across the face. In response, he slapped her back. This raised a question between my mother and I: Is it ok for a woman to hit a man? If it is, is it ok if the man hits back?

I hear "men can't hit girls" often but I never hear how girls shouldn't hit men. Is it ok for girls to hit but not men? If it is ok, why?

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

A man should be able to defend himself. Cases of spousal abuse where the woman abuses the man aren't all that uncommon.

[Darcy88]

I wouldn't hit a woman unless she had a gun. If she had a knife maybe, but I'd probably still take my chances running away or taking her down. Hitting a woman just seems deeply wrong to me.

Its also not okay for a woman to hit a man, but its still not just cause for a man to hit back.

[Charles Darnay]

If you change the scenario to "a man hits another man and then that man hits him back" - is it an entirely different issue?

I think the idea that it is only men abusing women and not the other way around is very dangerous.

[Darcy88]

If you change the scenario to "a man hits another man and then that man hits him back" - is it an entirely different issue?

I think the idea that it is only men abusing women and not the other way around is very dangerous.

Yeah I can see that. Maybe we hear more of men abusing women because few men would admit to being physically abused by their spouses. But still, the average man significantly out weighs the average woman, possessing a lot more muscle mass and strength. Its like if you were walking down a dark alley-way and a young man was walking your way you might feel a little anxious. A young woman and you'd feel fine. An out of control man can beat a woman to death without much difficulty. Its not the same the other way around.

[cacian]

It is a 50 /50 world and I agree women are as bad as men and yes there should a counerargument to readjust the balance.
There was this programm about rape and young women and the add was a young man and women about to have some kind of sexual contact but it turns nasty because the young man is portrayed as the baddie/rapist.
I think there is a danger of stereotyping all young men as being the baddies and the young women the victims.
I think it is again a 50/50 deal because lots of young men also are victim of sexual violence and it is never mentioned by anybody.
It is logial to portray this kind of abuse with both genders in mind as victims which should send out a message that not every one is an abuser .
Victimise the cause/the act itself and not the gender is what I am trying to say.

[Lokasenna]

Ideally, I'd prefer not to hit anyone.

It would have to be extreme circumstances for me to strike a fellow human being, though I honestly cannot say what they would be. I hope I'm never put in that situation.

[Mutie]

i think women are more emotional violence. and you can stuff that in your "womens day".

[PoeticPassions]

Ideally, I'd prefer not to hit anyone.

It would have to be extreme circumstances for me to strike a fellow human being, though I honestly cannot say what they would be. I hope I'm never put in that situation.

I agree with you. I am all about nonviolence. Though one time I did slap a man... and then he threatened to hit me back, and I kept saying he did not have the balls to do it, and kept egging him on, saying 'c'mon hit me, do it...' This provocation went on for a while... and then he slapped me. And then I stood in shock for a few moments and yelled, 'I can't believe you hit me!'
Ah women... we are complex :D

[Jack of Hearts]

Why can't the question be if a woman slaps another woman, is it okay for her to slap back? And why can't this be done in an inflatable pool full of mud or jello?

Sexist.







J

[JuniperWoolf]

A man slapping his girlfriend for slapping him isn't so much self defense as it is revenge, it's not like he can't get away. If your girlfriend is the type to slap you (and you don't like it) then leave her, problem solved.

Incidentally, isn't this International Prevent Violence Against Women Day or something?

[cacian]

A man slapping his girlfriend for slapping him isn't so much self defense as it is revenge, it's not like he can't get away. If your girlfriend is the type to slap you (and you don't like it) then leave her, problem solved.

Incidentally, isn't this International Prevent Violence Against Women Day or something?

This almost seems to suggest that slapping is international and that all women around the world are slapped which I am sure is unfounded.
Not everyone around the world is violent.

[LitNetIsGreat]

A man slapping his girlfriend for slapping him isn't so much self defense as it is revenge, it's not like he can't get away. If your girlfriend is the type to slap you (and you don't like it) then leave her, problem solved.

Incidentally, isn't this International Prevent Violence Against Women Day or something?

OK, but does this work the other way around? If your boyfriend is the type to slap you (and you don't like it) then leave him, problem solved?

[cacian]

OK, but does this work the other way around? If your boyfriend is the type to slap you (and you don't like it) then leave him, problem solved?

sure but not without teaching him or her a lesson surely because then he goes to do it to somebody else.

[PoeticPassions]

Incidentally, isn't this International Prevent Violence Against Women Day or something?

It is International Women's Day. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women%27s_Day
:)

[PoeticPassions]

Why can't the question be if a woman slaps another woman, is it okay for her to slap back? And why can't this be done in an inflatable pool full of mud or jello?

Sexist.


J

hahahaha...

one time, in college, I actually mud wrestled with some female friends. Unfortunately, my friend and I, not knowing much, bought huge bags of potting soil to use for dirt... Smart, I know. All I can say is, after the mud wrestling was all said and done, the feeling was not pleasant. I had splinters everywhere... :eek::dupe:

[JuniperWoolf]

OK, but does this work the other way around? If your boyfriend is the type to slap you (and you don't like it) then leave him, problem solved?

Of course, except for the obvious fact that men are usually stronger than their girlfriends. If he hits her and she can leave him (as in she can still stand, and he isn't physically inhibiting her from getting away), then she should do so. No point (likely ineffectually) assaulting him back, it's probably not a good idea to slap a man who's willing to haul off and hit someone who might be half his size just for the sake of your damaged pride, that could get you killed.

And blah blah financial dependence blah blah, it's a poor excuse for staying in an abusive relationship.

[Pensive]

I personally wouldn't find it okay to hit anyone or get hit by anyone except for maybe in defence. Ideally I wouldn't do that in defence either. An eye for an eye shall turn the whole world blind anyway. It goes equally for everybody; men, women, friends, foe, etc. Maybe it's only me but I am of the kind who likes to have too much of her personal space and doesn't even usually allow friends (even female friends) to practise hitting in joke or as a prank. Except well when it's very light and it's all in good humour. And again that goes equally for both male and female friends.


I wouldn't hit a woman unless she had a gun. If she had a knife maybe, but I'd probably still take my chances running away or taking her down. Hitting a woman just seems deeply wrong to me.

Its also not okay for a woman to hit a man, but its still not just cause for a man to hit back.
I appreciate your thinking, especially if you feel the same about getting hit by a fellow man.

[PMLondonderry]

The reason I bring this up is because I saw this clip:

(sorry, there is an age/approval thing becuase the content is said to be disturbing)

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fv%3DXiwXb26mloQ

While the video gets funny ("How can she slap!?!?"), whenever I watch it, the people react by gasping when she slaps the man. When he slaps back, however, the people react even worse. It got me thinking why they react so strongly when he hits her back, but not when she slapped him.

[LitNetIsGreat]

The reason I bring this up is because I saw this clip:

(sorry, there is an age/approval thing becuase the content is said to be disturbing)

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fv%3DXiwXb26mloQ

While the video gets funny ("How can she slap!?!?"), whenever I watch it, the people react by gasping when she slaps the man. When he slaps back, however, the people react even worse. It got me thinking why they react so strongly when he hits her back, but not when she slapped him.

Jesus. That was intense. It looks like India's version of Jeremy Kyle/Jerry Springer by the way, but yes that was pretty violent. He seemed to do that instinctively in his defence, the heat of the moment sort of thing. What a horrible woman too.

[kiki1982]

Well, if I consider myself equal to my man, then I should expect to be hit when I hit first. And if my hubby or boyfriend is stronger, then I should not complain if he hits me and he hurts me more than I him. Surely, I should know him before I hit him... :p

But hitting is childish, so I have grown out of it :D.

[PMLondonderry]

Jesus. That was intense. It looks like India's version of Jeremy Kyle/Jerry Springer by the way, but yes that was pretty violent. He seemed to do that instinctively in his defence, the heat of the moment sort of thing. What a horrible woman too.

I thought she was a pretty horrible woman too. Her slap to the face was incredibly uncalled for....and, to be honest, I agree that if I am to call myself equal to a man, I should not complain if he slaps me after I slap him.

I don't disagree that most women are not as physically strong as most men, so a man hitting a woman may be more damaging than a woman hitting a man. However, I can't help but feel the "men can't hit girls" statement is a double standard. In our culture, it seems to be looked down upon, but not shocking if a woman slaps a man. How many times has a woman slapped a man and it caused us to gasp? Not many. At least not for me. However, the moment a man hits back, all hell breaks loose and people lose their cool. I can't help but feel like it is an unfair double standard.

[LitNetIsGreat]

I thought she was a pretty horrible woman too. Her slap to the face was incredibly uncalled for....and, to be honest, I agree that if I am to call myself equal to a man, I should not complain if he slaps me after I slap him.

I don't disagree that most women are not as physically strong as most men, so a man hitting a woman may be more damaging than a woman hitting a man. However, I can't help but feel the "men can't hit girls" statement is a double standard. In our culture, it seems to be looked down upon, but not shocking if a woman slaps a man. How many times has a woman slapped a man and it caused us to gasp? Not many. At least not for me. However, the moment a man hits back, all hell breaks loose and people lose their cool. I can't help but feel like it is an unfair double standard.

I agree. I also think it is an unfair double standard. Women shouldn't be able to feel that they can do what they want and hide behind the 'he can't hit me back' philosophy. I'm not excusing violence you understand, it's just that women can't go around slapping men and expect them all to behave like Gandhi in return.

[Jack of Hearts]

hahahaha...

one time, in college, I actually mud wrestled with some female friends. Unfortunately, my friend and I, not knowing much, bought huge bags of potting soil to use for dirt... Smart, I know. All I can say is, after the mud wrestling was all said and done, the feeling was not pleasant. I had splinters everywhere... :eek::dupe:

Ouch!







J

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

The reason I bring this up is because I saw this clip:

(sorry, there is an age/approval thing becuase the content is said to be disturbing)

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fv%3DXiwXb26mloQ

While the video gets funny ("How can she slap!?!?"), whenever I watch it, the people react by gasping when she slaps the man. When he slaps back, however, the people react even worse. It got me thinking why they react so strongly when he hits her back, but not when she slapped him.

Hahahaha, I like the guy who's standing next to the male slapper. He's like, "was that supposed to happen, or what?" HOW CAN SHE SLAP!? :lol:

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chNrZTB9KT4&feature=related)

[Paulclem]

Seeing as its a gameshow and she's trying to get rid of them, then he's a wuss. It wasn't so hard to him, but he could have hurt her. She's doing a job. No wonder they jumped in to give him a kicking.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Sean Connery has some interesting thoughts on the subject. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0d1zTAFKA)

[LitNetIsGreat]

Seeing as its a gameshow and she's trying to get rid of them, then he's a wuss. It wasn't so hard to him, but he could have hurt her. She's doing a job. No wonder they jumped in to give him a kicking.

It's a gameshow, what? I don't know it looked pretty hard to me. The other 10-15 people piling in to beat up the man I thought was the worst part. How can that be OK too? What a horrible show. Like Eastenders on drugs.

[Paulclem]

It's a gameshow, what? I don't know it looked pretty hard to me. The other 10-15 people piling in to beat up the man I thought was the worst part. How can that be OK too? What a horrible show. Like Eastenders on drugs.

Nah. Dd you ever see Endurance the Japanese gameshow?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEOz7gaFfmU

Anybody who goes on a gameshow deserves what they get. I agree it's a horrible show, but everyone knows the presenter's doing a job, including the contestant. He was out of order.

[kiki1982]

Yes, it was definitely a game show. Bad acting as well. The fake intonation! :lol:

So I suppose that he was already kind of aggravated by the mocking of his friend in the Build-up to the slap-clip. So then she slaps him in an effort to make him do something because viewers are getting frustrated by this point...
Indeed, the question is why everyone was so outraged that he hit back... and started hitting him into the bargain. As far as I am concerned that was pretty humiliating for him because he looked quite sweet. On the other hand you know that people are going to do such things if you go on something like that... Although maybe it is absolutely a no-no to slap a woman in Indian (?) culture?

That Endurance show seems quite scary actually. I wonder why people would like to do that...

[Paulclem]

Yes, it was definitely a game show. Bad acting as well. The fake intonation! :lol:

So I suppose that he was already kind of aggravated by the mocking of his friend in the Build-up to the slap-clip. So then she slaps him in an effort to make him do something because viewers are getting frustrated by this point...
Indeed, the question is why everyone was so outraged that he hit back... and started hitting him into the bargain. As far as I am concerned that was pretty humiliating for him because he looked quite sweet. On the other hand you know that people are going to do such things if you go on something like that... Although maybe it is absolutely a no-no to slap a woman in Indian (?) culture?

That Endurance show seems quite scary actually. I wonder why people would like to do that...

It is a cultural thing. My wife was harassed by a bloke on a bus in India, and she gave him a slap. He ran off at the end of the journey because the other passengers would have got him.

As for endurance - perhaps it tied up to the honour thing in Japan. Maybe that's where they got the "I'm a Celebrity Get me out of here" idea from.

[Babyguile]

I profoundly disagree with those who say it is a double standard to consider a man hitting a women the more serious offence: it's just common sense - and I hate this misconception of equality, which is often taken to mean that women should be treat as men. Real feminists have only ever used 'equality' to mean equality in law, in employment and in education. Men and women are very different in their behaviour and motives.

This video illustrates how in danger a woman is in the presence of any man, no matter how close they seem.

I lost my appetite (I was eating a delicious sandwich!) when I first saw this. It's very disturbing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5W85KHhcc0&feature=related

Notice how the dynamics change as soon as the blow lands. Her life was in his hands, and the lives of her children. This is how serious male-on-female violence is. Most of it happens in the home.

How dare he.