Spring Leaf

[Alexander III]

I sit;

Lonley and sad like a spring leaf,
Left alone on that wet branch,
After the storm. Relishing for that red plague,
And the snow, to tear it down and let it,
Rott with the worms and it's ancient brothers,
For ever distant from this sad and lonely earth.

Savoring these thoughts; surrounded
By that sun and the blue sky and flowers of yellow;
And the little girls chasing butterflies.

[Buh4Bee]

Xxxxxxxxxxx

[lh33334]

The gorgeous scene created by the last two lines drew me to the first line and I started reading, line by line, until the end.

" I sit, lonely and sad like a spring leaf "
I am not sure if "spring leaf" implies "lonely and sad" in other cultures, but in my culture ( Chinese culture), we connect "autumn leaves" to "loneliness and sadness". So if I were the author, I would use "autumn leaf" here instead, for the reason just mentioned, also for another reason which will be mentioned soon.

"Left alone on that wet branch"
At my first reading, I misread "branch" as "bench", where I also got a meaningful image:
Left alone on that wet bench...

As it says on the first line, the "author" sit, so this sitting made me misread the word "branch" as "bench", while I was reading I was assuming I were the "author" and I were on the scene. So I sit on that wet bench as a lonely and sad "autumn leaf" falling onto it because of the heavy rain---- which made the bench wet, and the strong wind and heavy rain caused the falling of the leaf onto the bench.

And then when I was writing this feedback, I realized that I misread the word "branch".

so the correct reading should be ""Left alone on that wet branch"
The leaf is still on the branch, not falling down, until the storm and snow came "to tear it down and let it, rot with the worms and its ancient brothers"

The snow here, is the other reason makes me think the "leaf" should be "autumn leaf", because the winter comes after the autumn, not after the spring.

"For ever distant from this sad and lonely earth."
That leaf decayed, as the deceased did, vanished from this sad and lonely world.
From death to life, from sadness to happiness, from despair to hope...... after the turning point of the process of thought ----- "Savoring these thoughts; surrounded",
we see a gorgeous scene:

"By that sun and the blue sky and flowers of yellow;
And the little girls chasing butterflies. "

The sorrow, the depression, all the negative emotions are released! What a beatiful feeling!

[lh33334]

The last two lines would imply two opposite meanings:
1. the one I interpreted above, the "author" got out of the sadness and saw the brightness of life and hope.

2. another possible effect is "contrast effect" .
the last two lines (the outside world ) serve as a foil to the sadness and loneliness of the "author" (the inside world), which makes the sadness and loneliness even deeper.

by using the term "surrounded by", I think the author intended the "contrast effect" instead of my initial interpretation of the last two lines.
And now I have turned to the second possibility.

Thanks to the author for sharing with us this great poem full of meanings.

[lh33334]

The third possibility is that the "author" is in between the first and the second situations, is still in sadness but longing to see the bright side of the future.
And now I tend towards this interpretation.

[Bar22do]

I sit; (I'd suggest to erase the semi-colon, L break is sufficient...)

Lonley and sad like a spring leaf, (comma not needed)
Left alone on that wet branch, (comma not needed)
After the storm. Relishing for that red plague,
And the snow, to tear it down and let it, (erase the comma)
Rott with the worms and it's ancient brothers, ("rot", I believe? and "its")
For ever distant from this sad and lonely earth. ("forever")

Savoring these thoughts; surrounded
By that sun and the blue sky and flowers of yellow;
And the little girls chasing butterflies.

Hey AIII!!! Except for some punctuation which I'd suggest you revise, it's an interesting, atmospheric poem and I thank you for sharing it....! my best to you.

[Alexander III]

@Ih33334 - wow thank you that was a very good and usefull response. I will definitaley take note of your points and try to perfect the poem. Once again thank you for the beautifull analysis.

@Bardo - Thank you for your reading and comments :)

[Alexander III]

Final bump!

[Bar22do]

OK, would you like to read my all relative a revision?

I sit
lonely and sad like the only leaf
on a branch
to have survived a storm,
relishing for the red plague and the snow
to tear it down and let it
rot with the worms: back to earth.

Chewing such thoughts! while around
the sun on a spotless blue sky
and the yellow flowers -
little girls chasing butterflies.


what do you think? :willy_nilly: does it give you any matter for new thought about your poem (which, as it was, I liked as well)??