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Revolte
03-02-2012, 07:08 AM
You dear sweet child
with your eye-strings plucking
like guitars with every glance
into dead lands and memories
buried in cracking sands.

You dear poor child
searching traumatic depths
of your stillborn heart
for your late mother May
who sung to you in rhymes.

Follow me!

I know the asking price
of the deaths that hold her
like a ghostly convict
in barbed-wire straight jackets
and nettle-forged muzzles.

Follow me!

But be aware
sometimes it's simply safer,
simply right,
to just forget.

BookBeauty
03-02-2012, 07:34 AM
A very thought-provoking piece. I love how you combine words. Barbed-wire straight jackets.. Nettle-forged muzzles. I definitely read an internal struggle going on here.

My only suggestion is to replace, ''berried'' with ''buried'', if that is your intention. :D

Revolte
03-02-2012, 03:36 PM
A very thought-provoking piece. I love how you combine words. Barbed-wire straight jackets.. Nettle-forged muzzles. I definitely read an internal struggle going on here.

My only suggestion is to replace, ''berried'' with ''buried'', if that is your intention. :D


Ah yes thank you lol. I'm getting to used to chromes wacky spell check. :auto: but it will never catch me!

cafolini
03-02-2012, 03:49 PM
Yes. How far could we follow? It would be unending.

Buh4Bee
03-02-2012, 08:59 PM
Revolte- This one stuck with me. I think it is, because it has a fable like nature to it with the lesson at the end.

Really enjoyed this stanza:
I know the asking price
of the deaths that hold her
like a ghostly convict
in barbed-wire straight jackets
and nettle-forged muzzles.

Revolte
03-03-2012, 10:49 PM
Revolte- This one stuck with me. I think it is, because it has a fable like nature to it with the lesson at the end.

There is a reason for that. But I'm not going to ever tell anybody. It's an Easter egg.