Are you wearing? # 3

[Biggus]

ARE YOU WEARING SOMETHING?

Are you wearing something?
As you glide gracefully down the aisle
Having knowledge of you as I do
Wearing no underwear is more your style

ARE YOU WEARING SOMETHING SEXY?

Are you wearing something sexy?
As part of your beautiful wedding out fit
Are you all gartered or suspender-ed
Beneath your beautiful wedding kit
Powdered perfumed and splendour-ed
Are you buffed and waxed a bit
Beneath your beautiful wedding dress
Are you bronzed and toned and fit
Is there silk and lace and bows
I hope you’re wearing all the kit

ARE YOU WEARING AMERICAN PANTS?

Are you wearing American Pants?
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scoff
But I’ve heard about American pants
Just one yank and their off

ARE YOU WEARING BOXING GLOVES?

Are you wearing boxing gloves?
Well as they say “if the cap fits”
I should say it’s not before time
And might curb your nocturnal habits

ARE YOU WEARING A SMILE?

Are you wearing a smile?
Because you know all the while
In your own inimitable style
That you are a commandophile

ARE YOU WEARING SURGICAL STOCKINGS?

Are you wearing surgical stockings?
I know that shouldn’t excite me
The thought of them turns me on
If that’s a problem you can bite me

ARE YOU WEARING A ROSE?

Are you wearing a rose?
Its subtle fragrance, heaven knows
So sweet smelling to the nose
That Rose pinned to your lapel
Does intoxicate me so well
And does hold me in its spell

ARE YOU WEARING CHANEL?

Are you wearing Chanel?
Why do you wear that smell?
At the chip shop when it was quite late
And I asked you out on a date
When you were standing frying fish
You fulfilled my perfect wish
I thought you would smell like that
Because I like the smell of chip fat

ARE YOU WEARING WIDOWS WEEDS?

Are you wearing widows’ weeds?
Well you still have a woman needs
And you’re still in your prime
You’ve waited a respectful time
After that event so fateful
So just lie back and be grateful

ARE YOU WEARING SOMETHING BORROWED?

Are you wearing something borrowed?
As part of your beautiful wedding dress
Something loaned to you with love
Intended to bring luck and lovingly bless