Agony Aunt Game

[cacian]

Make up a problem for the agony aunt to solve, and the next person is the agony aunt. After solving the problem, they post a new "problem".

For example:
"Dear Auntie,
My boyfriend says I should stop roller blading as it makes me look fat. But I love the spangly costumes. What do you think I should do?
Troubled of Denmark"

Answer:
Dear Troubled,
Your boyfriend sounds like a Class A jerk. Ditch him at once and become a nun. They let you rollerblade 24/7.

Your turn:

Dear Auntie
I have asked my partner to buy me a car but he insists I don't need on and instead I should carry on using my bicycle.
what shall do to convince him?
Stubborn From London

[Pendragon]

DEAR Stubborn

Forget this, ah, person, and get a job and buy your own car. In the long run you'll be better off, trust me.

Dear Auntie:

My neighbors can't seem to follow simple direction as to property boundaries. Their latest project encroaches at least a foot onto my property. They refuse to take action on resolving this dispute. Any suggestions?

Miffed in Marion

[BookBeauty]

Dear Miffed in Marion,

This is an issue Auntie has heard about through many of her letters. Her answer is always the same. Three words to solve your SoS: 'Shoot. On. Sight.'

Dear Auntie,

My son insists on wearing his little sister's pink tutu with slippers. I can't get rid of them, or poor Francesca won't be able to have her ballet. He's 16. Please help!

[Lokasenna]

Dear nameless,

This is a common problem, but one that can fortunately be solved with a common solution: simply amputate his feet. Your daughter will never have her shoes 'borrowed' again, and he will thank you in the end.


Dear Auntie,

The old woman next door keeps an ungodly number of cats, and the smell is beginning to devalue property prices in the area. Can you suggest a solution?

Yours,

Doddering of Doncaster

[Pendragon]

Dear Doddering:

There is a book available entitled "100 Great Recipes for Cat Meat". Buy one at once!

Dear Auntie:

The jerk next door has had a loud, obnoxious party going on for two days straight. My nerves are totally frayed. Suggestions!

Peeved

[BookBeauty]

Dear Peeved:

Try drinking camomile tea, with a teaspoon of honey, and listening to classical music with heavy duty head phones.

Dear Auntie:

I have an enormous hangnail on my toe! It's so big that the doctor refuses to remove it! What shall I do?

Resignedly,

Suffering in Agony