Black Tide

[Jerrybaldy]

The tide was black
the moon juxtaposed
as best as it could.
I smoked a number 10
and undressed
for I had known you all night
and I was the one.
The sand between my toes,
the cliffs above my head,
seaweed bubbles,
your skin caressed
by a salty breeze.
Come to me on a spring tide
above the plimsoll line,
I see your pale skin
where the moles are yet to be.
Your pink bikini
the panda eyes
from FCUK
designer lies.
I will hold you in the dark
I will be the one.
Come live with me
and be my love
and we will all the pleasures prove.
There is two for one at the carvery,
shoot me,
shoot me now.

[PrinceMyshkin]

A wonderful example of your ability to assemble sharp, apparently random details that add up to a scene or a mood.

[the facade]

A wonderful example of your ability to assemble sharp, apparently random details that add up to a scene or a mood.

Agreed - with some reserve. I felt that you were able to poignantly convey a mood but not so sure about the scene. The object of your affection here remains elusive, but not in a way that begs me to explore more.
What I felt was the strongest element in the poem were the lapses in rhythm that seemed in accord with the mood.

Cheers

[Haunted]

Very sensual. I see a lover poem here, made more compelling with the last 2 lines.