Biggus
02-24-2012, 05:17 AM
SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 2
Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at our uni
He doesn’t really communicate
And he scares a lot of the students
When is says “Extrapolate, Extrapolate”
EINSTEIN A GO-GO # 2
The special theory of relativity
So I was led to believe
Meant if you went with a 2nd cousin
She could safely conceive
TUP THAT
One of the most fulfilling moments
Is when I’m behind you tupping
And I reach beneath you
Until your breasts, I’m cupping
This is such an awesome pleasure
It always makes my spine tingle
And there I continue to hold you
Until the moment our juices mingle
ALPHABETICALLY DESCRIBED
After fifty years of married life
And after being prompted by his wife
A husband set out to describe her
And this was what he said of her
"You're A, B, C, D, E, F,
G, H, I, J, K, L." He said sweetly
“And what does that mean?”
She asked suspiciously
"Adorable, Beautiful,
Cuddly, Delightful,
Elegant, Fragrant,
Generous, Heaven-sent.”
"Oh, that's so lovely
What about I, J, K and L?"
"I'm Just Kidding Love!" He laughed
And she made his eye swell
WIND IN THE WILLOWS # 1
Ratty the water vole
And his friend Mr Mole
Buried Toad deep in a hole
A SOLEMN UNDERTAKING
When drivers choose to undertake
A risky manoeuvre is undertaken
But what they risk undertaking
Is an appointment with an undertaker
IF PASTA AND ANTI PASTA
If pasta and anti pasta
Came together
On one platter
Would it lead to disaster?
SHAMPOO MODUS
Bimbette was in the bathroom
And Clair shouted up to her
“You can use my shampoo
If you want to wash your hair”
And Bimbette shouted back
“Thanks but I can’t use it Clair,
It says it’s only for dry hair
And mine is wet to be fair”
BREAKFAST FOR MAISIE
This morning, mewing loudly
The cat greeted me
She clearly wanted her breakfast
So I gave her mewsly
GREEN BELT
Planning regulations only apply
It seems, to the ordinary people
The rank and file
Those without power or influence
Or the means to fill brown envelopes
Because to Politicians and developers
The only green they understand
Is cold hard cash
And they think that the green belt
Is just an inferior grade in Judo
Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just scrounging off the state
But there is one working at our uni
He doesn’t really communicate
And he scares a lot of the students
When is says “Extrapolate, Extrapolate”
EINSTEIN A GO-GO # 2
The special theory of relativity
So I was led to believe
Meant if you went with a 2nd cousin
She could safely conceive
TUP THAT
One of the most fulfilling moments
Is when I’m behind you tupping
And I reach beneath you
Until your breasts, I’m cupping
This is such an awesome pleasure
It always makes my spine tingle
And there I continue to hold you
Until the moment our juices mingle
ALPHABETICALLY DESCRIBED
After fifty years of married life
And after being prompted by his wife
A husband set out to describe her
And this was what he said of her
"You're A, B, C, D, E, F,
G, H, I, J, K, L." He said sweetly
“And what does that mean?”
She asked suspiciously
"Adorable, Beautiful,
Cuddly, Delightful,
Elegant, Fragrant,
Generous, Heaven-sent.”
"Oh, that's so lovely
What about I, J, K and L?"
"I'm Just Kidding Love!" He laughed
And she made his eye swell
WIND IN THE WILLOWS # 1
Ratty the water vole
And his friend Mr Mole
Buried Toad deep in a hole
A SOLEMN UNDERTAKING
When drivers choose to undertake
A risky manoeuvre is undertaken
But what they risk undertaking
Is an appointment with an undertaker
IF PASTA AND ANTI PASTA
If pasta and anti pasta
Came together
On one platter
Would it lead to disaster?
SHAMPOO MODUS
Bimbette was in the bathroom
And Clair shouted up to her
“You can use my shampoo
If you want to wash your hair”
And Bimbette shouted back
“Thanks but I can’t use it Clair,
It says it’s only for dry hair
And mine is wet to be fair”
BREAKFAST FOR MAISIE
This morning, mewing loudly
The cat greeted me
She clearly wanted her breakfast
So I gave her mewsly
GREEN BELT
Planning regulations only apply
It seems, to the ordinary people
The rank and file
Those without power or influence
Or the means to fill brown envelopes
Because to Politicians and developers
The only green they understand
Is cold hard cash
And they think that the green belt
Is just an inferior grade in Judo