ainjim
02-19-2012, 05:42 AM
This story didn’t happen yet
It will certainly happen tomorrow
The undeniable prophecy said so
Souvenir from the last
zionist soldier in Palestine
15th of March
Yesterday night was extremely chilly. I didn’t suppose for a moment that he may give me the worn blanket that he covers his lap and legs with. To attract his attention, I made a little movement. He just threw a short glance at me and drew the edge of the blanket towards his left shoulder covering his left arm together with his automatic rifle. Every now and then he leaves his seat and goes to the end of the room to have another look through the window into darkness..
The girl, who was trembling in the corner, was looking at that blanket too. It seemed that she had the same idea, she wanted that blanket. She was ready to do any think to have it. In fact she seems to be ready to do anything for no reason at all. Or should I say she has her good reason, she was ready to do anything to have him, the *****. It was easy for her as for any person to guess that he was the leader of the group. She behaved as a Jewish woman not as a soldier during these two days.
Sitting on the floor, she stretched her back and gave a little cough. I have no doubt now that the daughter of Zion is playing the role she used to play. He didn’t seem to take notice of her. He just sits there with his chin over his breast, fixing his eyes over the floor. It seems that his only concern was his colleagues who left few hours ago after we heard far away shootings. She moved again. She hugged her legs with her tow arms to gain some warm, while her eyes were fixed upon him. She feels that she had attracted his attention but he prefers to ignore her. There is a shadow of a smile on the corner of her mouth. It is the smile of challenge. Can she succeed with that brute creature? I hope she can, at least something could happen to break this heavy stillness.
The light of the little lamp does not give things its true shapes. While she looks small, and slender, he looks like a huge statue over his chair.
He sits there absent-minded. He seemed to be out of the whole situation in that long barn. Out of my suffering from cold, out of her eagerness to have him, and out of the little smile, now faded, over her lips. His only concern is the long absence of the other three men who went out and left him with the girl and me in that solitary barn.
What am I doing here? I asked myself this question a thousand times in vain. Two weeks ago, whoever tells me that I may find myself in such circumstances I will call him mad.
4th of April
He pushed me hard behind a high erected rock, which emerged like a shield from the mountain. There, in the shed of the rock, we will take our hide. He beckoned to me, then to the girl who followed us without any hesitation. I understand. So I told her to keep quiet and don’t make any sound or any movement whatsoever. He took his position not far from that rock, in a spot that enables him to watch us, as well as the only road, through the high mountains. The other two did the same from different positions. The forth, who had left us an hour ago and returned just before this sudden action took a position in front. His position enables him to see whoever comes from the other end of the road, which take a sharp turn to the right. In such a place, I reckon, those four can cause heavy casualties to any advancing enemy soldiers. We stayed frozen for a good while before the fourth man, who was their pioneer, if my guess was right, gave a signal that the alarm was false. The coming patrol was another group roaming the area for a prey.
I still remember when few senior officers in the military intelligent service came on in a hurry and told the general that the terrorists had crossed the border from hundreds of places in small groups.
“It was like an invasion” they described the situation “We have just come from a meeting with the high staff general. The Prime Minister took knowledge of the matter” The general was seriously concerned. He asked about the Prime Minister’s reaction when he heard this news.
“Oh, not much. He just gave a laugh and said, “that is what we were waiting for, aren’t we? Now it is time to go and pick them up, the living ones only of course”. The general‘s face was red with rage. He said, biting his words “what does this Polish Pig understand?” Then he said as if talking to himself “So, finally the Jordanian played their winning card. It will not be an ordinary military campaign to be sure.”
Now I understand what the general had meant. They spread at the whole country. Each group is not more than eight fighters, with deferent kinds of weapons. And each group decides by themselves when and where to attack. The whole country is their battlefield. They plant fear in every soldier’s heart. They wait for their preys at every place. Every turn of a road might hide death. Soldiers expect them everywhere, in valleys, on tops of hills, behind trees, over mountains, inside ruined villages. They are everywhere.
How to deal with such an army? They are one body with thousands of heads and hands. We have to admit that it is impossible for any regular army to win such a game.
But who am I to question the talent of an Israeli military strategy? I am but an ordinary Russian Jew who came here lately. The best I had got then was to serve an Israeli general.
All that I have got now is to accept the facts as they are. I‘m here, captured, full of deferent feelings, full of hatred, bitterness, anger, disgust and full of fear. My only solace is to pour my desperate thoughts on these pages of my diary.
6th of April
I consider myself lucky when I met him face to face that dawn. How it happened, I don’t know exactly. All I know that I had walked the whole night dragging myself up through rocks and bushes. I had stopped just for a while to take a breath after a long run and to throw a last look at the burning car on the high road. Things happened suddenly. All I knew was I found myself thrown from the car, which were blazing with fire after the exploding. At the same time there were shootings from the other side of the road. I found myself running towards the high hills, which were hardly seen on the horizon, not knowing what happened to the driver and the other three. But I reckon they were dead.
It didn’t occur to me that I might find any living sole there. The place was so isolated. But there he was aiming his gun towards me ready to shoot. I just stopped and looked directly into his eyes.
. He was astonished; it seems that he thought I was coming towards him purposely to surrender. He looked at me then at the gun, which I was carrying with my left arm. I dropped it. He beckoned to me to move few steps aside, then he picked it up and smelt its nozzle.
Afterwards, when I met the others, and they began to argue about me, smelling the nozzle of the gun again, I understood that what saved my life was that I hadn’t used that rifle before. Thanks to the general who kept me with him as a servant. If he didn’t send me to that settlement with the doomed letter to his sister and her husband asking them to leave, I might still leading the leisurely life I used to live. It was funny that I had blamed the general when I knew the purpose of my mission. But now I am fully convinced of his good judgment. It is his job to live in such a hell, why he should let those whom he loved to suffer with him? What futures have we here? Beside most of the wealthy people sent their families abroad, why not the general?
I don’t know now what will happen to me. They consider me a burden on them. But they didn’t get rid of me till now. Maybe that’s why I had still had this little flint of hope inside my chest that they may release me. They know I didn’t fight them. They had a belief that I surrender to them. But they have to keep moving. What is the good of a man they have to watch everywhere they go? These contradicted thoughts inside my head give me headache.
7th of April
We had rushed quickly under a thick olive tree when we heard the buzzing sound of the helicopter. It was coming from behind the high peak of the mountain, which throw its cool rich shed over the wide sunny meadow. Although it was difficult for the searching patrol up in the sky to see us, yet they crumpled over the girl and me. We stayed calmly so, waiting for the heavy minutes to pass a way. While the buzzing of the plane came nearer and nearer. I noticed that she was partly underneath him. She moved slowly and turned over to face him. She was looking at his close face. Her hot breath hit his long dark heir that curled on his forehead. He turned his face impatiently. Her lips were trembling softly. Is this the right time woman? Can’t you leave any opportunity to get what you want?
When the bothering noise had faded away, he got up and walked few steps aside. His face betrayed his anger. He didn’t say anything to her while the other three were looking at him and at each other. He beckoned at the girl and said something to one of them who nodded his head. Few minutes later he left taking the girl with him. When she left she throw a short gaze at me as if she was saying, “I won at last”
Before sunset we aimed toward an isolated farm with a ruined house. There we are going to spend another long chilly night.
We entered the only room with a roof. They gathered at the corner near the wooden door. Sitting there chatting and waiting for something.
Hours passed on. At any queer sound one of them would leave outside to have a look into darkness. Weeks ago sounds of shooting could be heard sometimes, far and near, from deferent kinds of weapons. At night sounds became so clear. One can easily judge the direction of the clashing. Nowadays I hardly noticed that we live in land of battle.
When the big operation began, we had a notion that it will not take more than two months. The American will continue bombing main cities in Iraq, Syria, and southern Lebanon while we will have enough time to evacuate all the Palestinians out to Jordan. It was a well-prepared plan. But the Jordanian’s fast move changed the wave. I don’t know how they managed to establish a public army that counts more than a hundred thousand in a very short time? But they did. They established hundreds of small camps to avoid heavy casualties in case the Americans or we bombed the camps. The volunteers were sent behind our back while their regular army was ready to prevent the big transfer.
The public army, mostly Palestinians and Iraqis who were well trained due to their part in the Iraqi Iranian war, spread like bees from hives. Striking here and there in small groups, they were able not only to hinder the movement of our army, but to paralyze its capability as well.
What chance a poisonous snake had when hundreds of bees sting its tail and sides but to curl around itself and wait for the enemy to leave? But the enemy is not leaving because he lives there. The snake’s fate is doomed.
Suddenly they heard a sound of something that came nearer. One of them jumped out. When he returned he was followed by the leader and other four men. The girl was not with him, I started to be concerned about her.
10th of April
The long road to the village was climbing around a huge high rocky hill. We had passed few buildings of a new settlement at the bottom which was deserted now. The high greenish hills, and the dark green valley underneath, together with the high yellow and brown mountain on the opposite side, contradicted the white spotted blue sky. The whole seen, which was bathing under the blazing sun was as beautiful as a painting of the middle age period.
Before we reach the top of the hill, I turned my face to have another look at the settlement. It hasn’t the chance to enlarge and creep over to destroy the harmony of the place. It was laying there like a strange thing, which is not suited, the place. Its red bricks gave it a different look. It is as ugly as a shapeless spot of red cancer flesh over a healthy body.
They tried to give the area the name of the settlement. I am sure now that the area has retained its own name again. In fact it hasn’t lost its name in spite of the large signboard, which carries the funny name they choose for the settlement. Once I had heard the general give an area a queer name before he corrects himself. It was its origin Palestinian name.
We were about to reach the village when I noticed that the farms and fruit gardens were completely destroyed. Rocks, heaps of branches and leaves were scattered all over the whole area, It is obviously clear that our army had passed through here.
Tow old peasants came out of a ruined house, which fronted us before we reach the village to tell what had happened to the other houses. The two men walked slowly toward us then they stopped looking at us suspiciously. One of them drew nearer, carrying an old English hunting rifle. Then his inquiring face was enlightened with a large smile. He shouted and a boy appeared from behind, he told him something, the boy run back to the village. He saluted the men then they began to talk. One of the men beckoned at me, the old peasant throw a short glance at me, and returned to the speaker.
On the corner of the long dusty road that leads to the village a group of about twenty peasants (or so I thought for the first while) appeared. When they came close I found that they were not peasants. They were young men and women dressing with military clothes. They were carrying deferent kinds of weapons. Mostly were R.B.K.Morters, and R.B.G.rockets.
“The Palestinians had returned” I told myself. The general was cleaver enough to predict the danger early. He demanded to postpone the big transfer operation until a political settlement could be reached with Jordan about the problem of the public militia. But how can anyone convince this thickheaded Polish Pig?
The old peasant beckoned to me to follow him. He walked as proud as a peacock across the whole group who gave way, some were smiling others were trying hard to hide their laugh with twisted closed mouths. I walked behind.
We went through the ruined into a small dusty road that leads to the partly destroyed and deserted houses of the village. He stopped there, looked at me for a while, and then beckoned to me to walk in front. When I passed him he said in broken Hebrew “you are lucky”. I looked curiously. He gave another hint to go on walking. Then he continued as if to explain himself
“If you had used your gun, you would be dead by now. Beside, this group carries their orders strictly; the other day one of them brought a soldier, who was a girl, without touching her. With other group, matters would be deferent”
“That is what happened to the girl then” I told myself. I was really lucky because I happened to be with this talkative old man.
“Where are you going to take me?” I asked.
“To the village, where else?” was his obvious response.
Then he stopped, hesitated for a while, and then said “oh, you mean after that, well, to the main bases across the border. My task is to take you there. I don’t know what‘s the use of you or your alike to them. You are not more than another prisoner of war. Not more than another number
The 1st of May
The old man was watching me with an eye of an eagle. “We came close to our destination” he said. The road descended down to the river that could be seen now under the feet of the high hills. We were walking in front of a few peasant families who accompany us from the village. We had started early in the morning and crossed hills, large areas covered with wild trees, valleys, and wide meadows. I have noticed people; some were traveling on far roads others were gathering near small villages. “The area started to live again” I told myself.
“Where is our army?” the question stunned me. “How come the whole area lives in peace and quietness? Did the war is over? What really happened during the past few weeks? Am I the last Zionist soldier here?”
“Let us have some rest here,” the old man said. I turned to find the peasants were gathering under the trees that cover the hills on both sides of the road.
We took a place under a tree. A small girl brought us some food, and stayed looking at me. I remembered my little sister. She had the same insisted gaze. She used to sit near the stove and keep looking at me. When I ask her why she keeps looking at me she would just raise her shoulders and smile. Oh, how much I miss her now. Does she remember me? Can she imagine that I am thousands and thousands of miles away from her and from my little town?
In a moment my thoughts took me back there. I found myself covered till my neck with my fur coat running across the snowy street to the familiar bar. The hot air inside carries the smell of smoke and vodka, and the crowded rosy faces fill the whole place with shouts and laughs. There at the usual table in the corner my friends were waiting for me to join them.
“Go away” The harsh voice came to push the girl a way, and to pull me back to reality.
When I had finished my meal, I pulled out my diary. He looked at me. Do not worry old man. I’ll keep my promise to you. I’ll give you my diary as a souvenir. You can boast as much as you can that you brought a prisoner of war and handed him to the regular army. You will be proud and happy. But the contradiction is that I myself will be happy too, being in the hand of the army means to me the beginning of the journey to my homeland. I’ll cut out these few years out of my past and throw it in the trash. I’ll leave behind me the great cheating place, where they try to convince themselves that the religion is a nationality, and the Geto is an independent state. What nonsense!
Amman 2001
It will certainly happen tomorrow
The undeniable prophecy said so
Souvenir from the last
zionist soldier in Palestine
15th of March
Yesterday night was extremely chilly. I didn’t suppose for a moment that he may give me the worn blanket that he covers his lap and legs with. To attract his attention, I made a little movement. He just threw a short glance at me and drew the edge of the blanket towards his left shoulder covering his left arm together with his automatic rifle. Every now and then he leaves his seat and goes to the end of the room to have another look through the window into darkness..
The girl, who was trembling in the corner, was looking at that blanket too. It seemed that she had the same idea, she wanted that blanket. She was ready to do any think to have it. In fact she seems to be ready to do anything for no reason at all. Or should I say she has her good reason, she was ready to do anything to have him, the *****. It was easy for her as for any person to guess that he was the leader of the group. She behaved as a Jewish woman not as a soldier during these two days.
Sitting on the floor, she stretched her back and gave a little cough. I have no doubt now that the daughter of Zion is playing the role she used to play. He didn’t seem to take notice of her. He just sits there with his chin over his breast, fixing his eyes over the floor. It seems that his only concern was his colleagues who left few hours ago after we heard far away shootings. She moved again. She hugged her legs with her tow arms to gain some warm, while her eyes were fixed upon him. She feels that she had attracted his attention but he prefers to ignore her. There is a shadow of a smile on the corner of her mouth. It is the smile of challenge. Can she succeed with that brute creature? I hope she can, at least something could happen to break this heavy stillness.
The light of the little lamp does not give things its true shapes. While she looks small, and slender, he looks like a huge statue over his chair.
He sits there absent-minded. He seemed to be out of the whole situation in that long barn. Out of my suffering from cold, out of her eagerness to have him, and out of the little smile, now faded, over her lips. His only concern is the long absence of the other three men who went out and left him with the girl and me in that solitary barn.
What am I doing here? I asked myself this question a thousand times in vain. Two weeks ago, whoever tells me that I may find myself in such circumstances I will call him mad.
4th of April
He pushed me hard behind a high erected rock, which emerged like a shield from the mountain. There, in the shed of the rock, we will take our hide. He beckoned to me, then to the girl who followed us without any hesitation. I understand. So I told her to keep quiet and don’t make any sound or any movement whatsoever. He took his position not far from that rock, in a spot that enables him to watch us, as well as the only road, through the high mountains. The other two did the same from different positions. The forth, who had left us an hour ago and returned just before this sudden action took a position in front. His position enables him to see whoever comes from the other end of the road, which take a sharp turn to the right. In such a place, I reckon, those four can cause heavy casualties to any advancing enemy soldiers. We stayed frozen for a good while before the fourth man, who was their pioneer, if my guess was right, gave a signal that the alarm was false. The coming patrol was another group roaming the area for a prey.
I still remember when few senior officers in the military intelligent service came on in a hurry and told the general that the terrorists had crossed the border from hundreds of places in small groups.
“It was like an invasion” they described the situation “We have just come from a meeting with the high staff general. The Prime Minister took knowledge of the matter” The general was seriously concerned. He asked about the Prime Minister’s reaction when he heard this news.
“Oh, not much. He just gave a laugh and said, “that is what we were waiting for, aren’t we? Now it is time to go and pick them up, the living ones only of course”. The general‘s face was red with rage. He said, biting his words “what does this Polish Pig understand?” Then he said as if talking to himself “So, finally the Jordanian played their winning card. It will not be an ordinary military campaign to be sure.”
Now I understand what the general had meant. They spread at the whole country. Each group is not more than eight fighters, with deferent kinds of weapons. And each group decides by themselves when and where to attack. The whole country is their battlefield. They plant fear in every soldier’s heart. They wait for their preys at every place. Every turn of a road might hide death. Soldiers expect them everywhere, in valleys, on tops of hills, behind trees, over mountains, inside ruined villages. They are everywhere.
How to deal with such an army? They are one body with thousands of heads and hands. We have to admit that it is impossible for any regular army to win such a game.
But who am I to question the talent of an Israeli military strategy? I am but an ordinary Russian Jew who came here lately. The best I had got then was to serve an Israeli general.
All that I have got now is to accept the facts as they are. I‘m here, captured, full of deferent feelings, full of hatred, bitterness, anger, disgust and full of fear. My only solace is to pour my desperate thoughts on these pages of my diary.
6th of April
I consider myself lucky when I met him face to face that dawn. How it happened, I don’t know exactly. All I know that I had walked the whole night dragging myself up through rocks and bushes. I had stopped just for a while to take a breath after a long run and to throw a last look at the burning car on the high road. Things happened suddenly. All I knew was I found myself thrown from the car, which were blazing with fire after the exploding. At the same time there were shootings from the other side of the road. I found myself running towards the high hills, which were hardly seen on the horizon, not knowing what happened to the driver and the other three. But I reckon they were dead.
It didn’t occur to me that I might find any living sole there. The place was so isolated. But there he was aiming his gun towards me ready to shoot. I just stopped and looked directly into his eyes.
. He was astonished; it seems that he thought I was coming towards him purposely to surrender. He looked at me then at the gun, which I was carrying with my left arm. I dropped it. He beckoned to me to move few steps aside, then he picked it up and smelt its nozzle.
Afterwards, when I met the others, and they began to argue about me, smelling the nozzle of the gun again, I understood that what saved my life was that I hadn’t used that rifle before. Thanks to the general who kept me with him as a servant. If he didn’t send me to that settlement with the doomed letter to his sister and her husband asking them to leave, I might still leading the leisurely life I used to live. It was funny that I had blamed the general when I knew the purpose of my mission. But now I am fully convinced of his good judgment. It is his job to live in such a hell, why he should let those whom he loved to suffer with him? What futures have we here? Beside most of the wealthy people sent their families abroad, why not the general?
I don’t know now what will happen to me. They consider me a burden on them. But they didn’t get rid of me till now. Maybe that’s why I had still had this little flint of hope inside my chest that they may release me. They know I didn’t fight them. They had a belief that I surrender to them. But they have to keep moving. What is the good of a man they have to watch everywhere they go? These contradicted thoughts inside my head give me headache.
7th of April
We had rushed quickly under a thick olive tree when we heard the buzzing sound of the helicopter. It was coming from behind the high peak of the mountain, which throw its cool rich shed over the wide sunny meadow. Although it was difficult for the searching patrol up in the sky to see us, yet they crumpled over the girl and me. We stayed calmly so, waiting for the heavy minutes to pass a way. While the buzzing of the plane came nearer and nearer. I noticed that she was partly underneath him. She moved slowly and turned over to face him. She was looking at his close face. Her hot breath hit his long dark heir that curled on his forehead. He turned his face impatiently. Her lips were trembling softly. Is this the right time woman? Can’t you leave any opportunity to get what you want?
When the bothering noise had faded away, he got up and walked few steps aside. His face betrayed his anger. He didn’t say anything to her while the other three were looking at him and at each other. He beckoned at the girl and said something to one of them who nodded his head. Few minutes later he left taking the girl with him. When she left she throw a short gaze at me as if she was saying, “I won at last”
Before sunset we aimed toward an isolated farm with a ruined house. There we are going to spend another long chilly night.
We entered the only room with a roof. They gathered at the corner near the wooden door. Sitting there chatting and waiting for something.
Hours passed on. At any queer sound one of them would leave outside to have a look into darkness. Weeks ago sounds of shooting could be heard sometimes, far and near, from deferent kinds of weapons. At night sounds became so clear. One can easily judge the direction of the clashing. Nowadays I hardly noticed that we live in land of battle.
When the big operation began, we had a notion that it will not take more than two months. The American will continue bombing main cities in Iraq, Syria, and southern Lebanon while we will have enough time to evacuate all the Palestinians out to Jordan. It was a well-prepared plan. But the Jordanian’s fast move changed the wave. I don’t know how they managed to establish a public army that counts more than a hundred thousand in a very short time? But they did. They established hundreds of small camps to avoid heavy casualties in case the Americans or we bombed the camps. The volunteers were sent behind our back while their regular army was ready to prevent the big transfer.
The public army, mostly Palestinians and Iraqis who were well trained due to their part in the Iraqi Iranian war, spread like bees from hives. Striking here and there in small groups, they were able not only to hinder the movement of our army, but to paralyze its capability as well.
What chance a poisonous snake had when hundreds of bees sting its tail and sides but to curl around itself and wait for the enemy to leave? But the enemy is not leaving because he lives there. The snake’s fate is doomed.
Suddenly they heard a sound of something that came nearer. One of them jumped out. When he returned he was followed by the leader and other four men. The girl was not with him, I started to be concerned about her.
10th of April
The long road to the village was climbing around a huge high rocky hill. We had passed few buildings of a new settlement at the bottom which was deserted now. The high greenish hills, and the dark green valley underneath, together with the high yellow and brown mountain on the opposite side, contradicted the white spotted blue sky. The whole seen, which was bathing under the blazing sun was as beautiful as a painting of the middle age period.
Before we reach the top of the hill, I turned my face to have another look at the settlement. It hasn’t the chance to enlarge and creep over to destroy the harmony of the place. It was laying there like a strange thing, which is not suited, the place. Its red bricks gave it a different look. It is as ugly as a shapeless spot of red cancer flesh over a healthy body.
They tried to give the area the name of the settlement. I am sure now that the area has retained its own name again. In fact it hasn’t lost its name in spite of the large signboard, which carries the funny name they choose for the settlement. Once I had heard the general give an area a queer name before he corrects himself. It was its origin Palestinian name.
We were about to reach the village when I noticed that the farms and fruit gardens were completely destroyed. Rocks, heaps of branches and leaves were scattered all over the whole area, It is obviously clear that our army had passed through here.
Tow old peasants came out of a ruined house, which fronted us before we reach the village to tell what had happened to the other houses. The two men walked slowly toward us then they stopped looking at us suspiciously. One of them drew nearer, carrying an old English hunting rifle. Then his inquiring face was enlightened with a large smile. He shouted and a boy appeared from behind, he told him something, the boy run back to the village. He saluted the men then they began to talk. One of the men beckoned at me, the old peasant throw a short glance at me, and returned to the speaker.
On the corner of the long dusty road that leads to the village a group of about twenty peasants (or so I thought for the first while) appeared. When they came close I found that they were not peasants. They were young men and women dressing with military clothes. They were carrying deferent kinds of weapons. Mostly were R.B.K.Morters, and R.B.G.rockets.
“The Palestinians had returned” I told myself. The general was cleaver enough to predict the danger early. He demanded to postpone the big transfer operation until a political settlement could be reached with Jordan about the problem of the public militia. But how can anyone convince this thickheaded Polish Pig?
The old peasant beckoned to me to follow him. He walked as proud as a peacock across the whole group who gave way, some were smiling others were trying hard to hide their laugh with twisted closed mouths. I walked behind.
We went through the ruined into a small dusty road that leads to the partly destroyed and deserted houses of the village. He stopped there, looked at me for a while, and then beckoned to me to walk in front. When I passed him he said in broken Hebrew “you are lucky”. I looked curiously. He gave another hint to go on walking. Then he continued as if to explain himself
“If you had used your gun, you would be dead by now. Beside, this group carries their orders strictly; the other day one of them brought a soldier, who was a girl, without touching her. With other group, matters would be deferent”
“That is what happened to the girl then” I told myself. I was really lucky because I happened to be with this talkative old man.
“Where are you going to take me?” I asked.
“To the village, where else?” was his obvious response.
Then he stopped, hesitated for a while, and then said “oh, you mean after that, well, to the main bases across the border. My task is to take you there. I don’t know what‘s the use of you or your alike to them. You are not more than another prisoner of war. Not more than another number
The 1st of May
The old man was watching me with an eye of an eagle. “We came close to our destination” he said. The road descended down to the river that could be seen now under the feet of the high hills. We were walking in front of a few peasant families who accompany us from the village. We had started early in the morning and crossed hills, large areas covered with wild trees, valleys, and wide meadows. I have noticed people; some were traveling on far roads others were gathering near small villages. “The area started to live again” I told myself.
“Where is our army?” the question stunned me. “How come the whole area lives in peace and quietness? Did the war is over? What really happened during the past few weeks? Am I the last Zionist soldier here?”
“Let us have some rest here,” the old man said. I turned to find the peasants were gathering under the trees that cover the hills on both sides of the road.
We took a place under a tree. A small girl brought us some food, and stayed looking at me. I remembered my little sister. She had the same insisted gaze. She used to sit near the stove and keep looking at me. When I ask her why she keeps looking at me she would just raise her shoulders and smile. Oh, how much I miss her now. Does she remember me? Can she imagine that I am thousands and thousands of miles away from her and from my little town?
In a moment my thoughts took me back there. I found myself covered till my neck with my fur coat running across the snowy street to the familiar bar. The hot air inside carries the smell of smoke and vodka, and the crowded rosy faces fill the whole place with shouts and laughs. There at the usual table in the corner my friends were waiting for me to join them.
“Go away” The harsh voice came to push the girl a way, and to pull me back to reality.
When I had finished my meal, I pulled out my diary. He looked at me. Do not worry old man. I’ll keep my promise to you. I’ll give you my diary as a souvenir. You can boast as much as you can that you brought a prisoner of war and handed him to the regular army. You will be proud and happy. But the contradiction is that I myself will be happy too, being in the hand of the army means to me the beginning of the journey to my homeland. I’ll cut out these few years out of my past and throw it in the trash. I’ll leave behind me the great cheating place, where they try to convince themselves that the religion is a nationality, and the Geto is an independent state. What nonsense!
Amman 2001