Domestic Queen

[Delta40]

You can call me
a one solitary love song
twirling, spinning round
in outdated rhinestone heels
with imaginary crowds
bubbling from another lifetime.
I often lose myself on the dance floor.
Here I am
with badly applied lipstick
in the middle of the day
draped in nothing more
than colourful beads
tangled enticingly around my fingers,
between my lips,
across my breasts.
I get so dizzy, drops of wine splash on the mat.
Gazing up at faded streamers
glued to the ceiling
from some old birthday party,
I shimmy and sway to the ring
of Dancing Queen
while the dishwater turns
to cold greasy scum.

[ShadowsCool]

I shimmy and sway to the ring
of Dancing Queen
while the dishwater turns
to cold greasy scum.

I rather like that song by Abba. And I like the way you present the poem. I can visual each way through. It was a nice trip.

[Hawkman]

Hi Delta: I liked this poem with its distracted imagery of sensuality in the midst of domestic servitute, but:

"You can call me
a one solitary love song"

the a or the one, not both :D Also it's difficult to decide whether the call means summon, or name, if you get my drift. To say, "you can call me with a solitary love-song" would be clearer.

Otherwise, this is a vivid and engageing poem.

Live and be well - H

[Delta40]

'A one solitary love song' is a line from a song actually. Perhaps I need to italicize it.

[Hawkman]

Well, I know zip about love songs :D but it doesn't read well, quote or not. At the very least it needs a comma after one. Makes it hard to tell exactly what you're saying right at the beginning. But, like I said, the rest of this poem is a winner.

Live long and prosper - H

[Bar22do]

you excel in domestic romanticism, delta!!! enjoyed! and send my best! Bar

[Bar22do]

though, as for now, nothing surpasses Sparkie!!! :)

[Delta40]

lol. I didn't realise Sparkie was so good! but Thanks Bar x

[Haunted]

Delightful as it's so relatable. Will there be one dancing with the vaccuum cleaner? :D

[Delta40]

Delightful as it's so relatable. Will there be one dancing with the vaccuum cleaner? :D

I had thought about using a broomstick but it seemed a bit unoriginal. Glad you liked the poem Haunted.

[hallaig]

No sure I'd think this as part of the domestic romanticism school. It's a bit chilling actually, sad certainly, which is what I'm sure you had in mind. the end's great. No sure about 'imaginary crowds bubbling from another lifetime'. Good work, though, enjoyed it.

[PrinceMyshkin]

As marvellous a flight of fancy as it is, it's the "cold greasy scum" at the end that casts the true, sad light on the preceding.

[AuntShecky]

though, as for now, nothing surpasses Sparkie!!! :)

Oh, I couldn't agree more. You should enter "Sparkie" in a literary contest,
Delta, or make it the title poem of a collection.

(That's not meant to diminish this latest one, "Domestic Queen, " in any way.)