View Full Version : A Butterfly Lifestyle
Bewlay Brother
02-14-2012, 03:38 AM
All matters of butterflies scrutinized
Manners overlooked
The wind composes the dumbest of instruments
Flowery and flowing the butterfly moves
Nets come up empty but never flailing
Because gilded butterflies count for bonus points
Bewlay Brother
04-04-2012, 02:43 PM
Bumpedy bump bump
tailor STATELY
04-04-2012, 04:48 PM
A Butterfly Lifestyle
All matters of butterflies scrutinized
Manners overlooked
The wind composes the dumbest of instruments
Flowery and flowing the butterfly moves
Nets come up empty but never flailing
Because gilded butterflies count for bonus points
I like this little piece a lot. So much said in such a tight poem.
L3... might be better with a substitution for "dumbest".
L4... I would be tempted to replace "moves" with "flutters" for the alliterative effect you have started.
L5... might be better with "ever" instead of "never".
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
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