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cacian
02-07-2012, 10:33 AM
it's a city before it's dawn
it makes your eyes water with joy,
its labyrinth is parted fast
through spirral glass
and pillow guards,
revealing airs of
years gone by.

it is a light,
it shines so bright,
eternally it hovers fast,
it casts a blaze
of cooler shades
then blasts
perfect
through broken frames.

further up highs
there sits a state,
it glows of fame
in sparkle waves,
and curves in reds
silver and beige,
it feels nearer
to mountain glades,
and grades upright
to peaks divines
it feels so fresh
beauty has face
it's mirror maze
to golden age

ShadowsCool
02-07-2012, 10:46 AM
I like the ending of both stanza's. I feel they are the best part of the poem.

esp: it casts a blaze
of cooler shades
then blasts
perfect
through broken frames.



I rather enjoyed it, seeing some nice images with good word flow.

Bar22do
02-09-2012, 04:00 AM
tis a light,
it shines so bright,
eternally it hovers fast,
it casts a blaze
of cooler shades
then blasts
perfect
through broken frames.



my preferred part of your poem here... greetings!

cacian
02-09-2012, 12:40 PM
Dear ShadowsCool and Bar22 I thank you both for your comments and reading.:smile5:

BookBeauty
02-09-2012, 12:48 PM
Very nice. :) I love the visuals I'm brought through.

'it shines so bright,
eternally it hovers fast,
it casts a blaze
of cooler shades
then blasts'

My favourite part. :)