Saving Me

[ShadowsCool]

I stood long before the ledge
Desperate for an answer
Looking down at the people
Just leading their lives

I thought long before jumping
Even looked up to heaven
Then looked down at the ground
Do I want to be around?

My mind was racing
My heartbeat pacing
I closed my eyes
Thinking what the heck

So I jumped off the ledge
Flying through the air
Into the arms of a dream
Saving me.

[YesNo]

I'm curious what sort of dream would save one in this circumstance.

If I took the act of jumping as a metaphor for not struggling with life's problems but letting solutions arise to save one as they may, it might make sense, but using this metaphor seems as if I'm injecting a meaning into the words that isn't there.

[ShadowsCool]

I'm curious what sort of dream would save one in this circumstance.

If I took the act of jumping as a metaphor for not struggling with life's problems but letting solutions arise to save one as they may, it might make sense, but using this metaphor seems as if I'm injecting a meaning into the words that isn't there.

It's not a metaphor at all. It's a very simple poem. There is no hidden meaning. I kept it as understandable as possible. It was just a dream that saved me. I realized I woke up.

[Hawkman]

Actually, Shadows, that is not immediately apparent. When I first read this poem I interpreted the dream as the sleep of death, and the 'saving', as being a release from life.

[WolfLarsen]

Excellent poem except for one thing: the rhymes.

But rhyme away if you want. Do whatever you want! But rhyming will nearly always hurt your poem in contemporary poetry.

[ShadowsCool]

Actually, Shadows, that is not immediately apparent. When I first read this poem I interpreted the dream as the sleep of death, and the 'saving', as being a release from life.


It's actually a dream sequence where I wake up relieved I didn't die. The dream saved me, it was only a dream. I fell in the arms of a dream (I woke up) I'm sure we all dreamed a dream that felt so real. And to wake up shocked it wasn't.

[ShadowsCool]

Excellent poem except for one thing: the rhymes.

But rhyme away if you want. Do whatever you want! But rhyming will nearly always hurt your poem in contemporary poetry.

Rhymes are burdensome if they are forced. These rhymes came natural to me. Rhymes are like little bells that ring. Sometimes when I write they just come naturally. If I have to force a rhyme, I don't engage it.

But if you say rhyming hurts contemporary poetry, I have to digress. I feel it's up to the poet and how he uses them. I prefer internal rhymes or half rhymes. However, I'm not big on rhymes myself.

Most of the poems I write these days don't rhyme at all. But if one is singing to me while I'm writing, who am I to deny it?

[Delta40]

I like this poem Shadows and the rhyming feature worked as good device for tension where it was appropriately needed. I'd rate it as one of your better poems. I especially like the idea of taking the plunge into the arms of a dream thereby being saved.

[ShadowsCool]

I like this poem Shadows and the rhyming feature worked as good device for tension where it was appropriately needed. I'd rate it as one of your better poems. I especially like the idea of taking the plunge into the arms of a dream thereby being saved.

Thanks Delta. I know I've been posting a lot of mediocrity these past few months. I'm more focused now and hopefully I worked out the cobwebs of not writing for 15 years.

[Assassin101]

Nice poem.:cornut: