Immaculate Conception at the Guillotine

[WolfLarsen]

Immaculate Conception at the Guillotine
a play by Wolf Larsen

Shakespeare is ****ing Marie Antoinette up the *** while she is bent over with her head in the guillotine waiting to be executed as King Louis XVI watches from the sidelines and masturbates.

Marie Antoinette says as she’s being ****ed up the ***: "Hip-hop! Jodooolee! Skidaleedooobop!"

Shakespeare says as he's ****ing Maria Antoinette up the ***: "Eat salad! Yesterday I eeeerrrruuuped with all the marijuana plants growing from here to Holland in a curving line of old English hieroglyphics melting from all the planets and into the songs of go-juuuuhhh doooodallleee bop!

Louis XVI blurts out as he masturbates and watches: "DO-DA HU-LA PU-LA! MI-LA FU-LA PEE-LA!"

The crowd chants: "DO-DA HU-LA PU-LA! MI-LA FU-LA PEE-LA!"

Marie Antoinette moans: "Oh Mr. Shakespeare! Give me that old English right up my happy birthday! Oh yes! Oh yes! Give it to me like the ha-ha – ha of the Sears Tower having a boing -boing- boing with all the boopity-ga-dong! Can you yyyuujjjaaaring the yippity?!"

The crowd roars: YYYUUJJJAAARING THE YIPPITY!! YYYUUJJJAAARING THE YIPPITY!!"

Then a saxophone player jumps on stage and plays rrooOOOOOOaaaaarrrr! Zonk! Ka-davvile! The saxophone plays EEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEoooooOOOOOOoooorrraaaAAAAAAAAA aaaa

The crowd of both men & women throw off their clothes and chant: "LET'S ALL HAVE SEX WITH MARIE ANTOINETTE! LET'S ALL HAVE SEX WITH MARIE ANTOINETTE!"

Re-Antoinette moans: "OOoooooooooooohhh! It feels so Baroque! Give me more Baroque up my Jeeerrrrooling! That Baroque feels so gooooood!"

Shakespeare moans: "Oh! Oh! I'm about to gaaahiiirraajab! Gazooks! Ka-brooooowwng! Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Louis the 16th moans: "Shakespeare's about to impregnate my wife! Oh I'm so happy!"

And then the guillotine blade comes down and Marie Antoinette’s head rolls down the steps of a Mayan Temple on the planet Mars.

The crowd roars with JOY JOY JOY.
"VIVE LE GUILLOTINE!" the crowd shouts with JOY JOY JOY.

Louis XVI has an orgasm right there and then. Then Louis XVI is put in the guillotine next. Shakespeare watches and masturbates as Charles Manson mounts Louis XVI from behind and gives him his ga-joooonngg! Ka-plaaaaappppffff! Whoooppppeeee!

The crowd begins singing Christmas carols in a 12-tone-Schoenberg-kind-of-scale. The United States Armed Forces begin parachuting out of the sky and shooting everybody in sight. Predator drones begin blasting all the buildings in the city.

The crowd shouts out for more.

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

[smerdyakov]

Ah Wolf me ol mucker, you need help. :D

[Jack of Hearts]

Seriously? How is it ok to post this here?







J

[cafolini]

Seriously? How is it ok to post this here?

J

And how is it okay to do what was done with the Frech revolution and the age of the guillotine?
Wolf insane seems like one of the most sober gentlemen. No even a friend to the slightest lunatic.

[Jack of Hearts]

And how is it okay to do what was done with the Frech revolution and the age of the guillotine?
Wolf insane seems like one of the most sober gentlemen. No even a friend to the slightest lunatic.

It's as though someone performed a prostate exam on the lion of the third republic. Permissions are like gunpowder in the sense they're wrapped sometimes in animal hide. Nonody realizes the keg inbetween their legs before they're in on the Kraft dinner conspiracy with ketchup. Sickening, really, to see that democracy, with all its failings, would allow Mussolini to naked mud wrestle the Grape Ape and Boo Berry, products of the high fructose corn syrup revolution Nietzsche wrote about while plagiarizing Emerson who burnt himself an effigy of Jesus Christ but felt bad about it later because it was his birthday and his glands were swollen.







J

[Bonsai Ent]

Honestly, doesn't really work for me Wolf.

I've seen similar things done quite a long time ago by folk like Alfred Jarry, and the trouble with this kind of anarchic strings of imagery is its pretty much impossible to really do it in an original way.

IMHO &c.

[WolfLarsen]

Jack of Hearts wrote:


It's as though someone performed a prostate exam on the lion of the third republic. Permissions are like gunpowder in the sense they're wrapped sometimes in animal hide. Nonody realizes the keg inbetween their legs before they're in on the Kraft dinner conspiracy with ketchup. Sickening, really, to see that democracy, with all its failings, would allow Mussolini to naked mud wrestle the Grape Ape and Boo Berry, products of the high fructose corn syrup revolution Nietzsche wrote about while plagiarizing Emerson who burnt himself an effigy of Jesus Christ but felt bad about it later because it was his birthday and his glands were swollen.


BRAVO! BRAVO! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!

Even if your intent is sarcasm I think it's still think it's one of the best works i ever read by you Jack.

[Darcy88]

If a high school student handed this in for an english assignment he or she'd be put in a padded room. It reads like the product of a disturbed 14 year old's imagination. I liked your Alaska story better. Not trying to hamper your creativity, just telling you what I prefer.

[BienvenuJDC]

ok...I'm wondering how old Wolf is now. I think that discussing politics is more civil than this load of dung.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Trash, pure and simple.

[Sancho Panza]

It seems the Marquis de Sade has been resurrected but has lost the ability to form coherent sentences.

[Alexander III]

Seriously? How is it ok to post this here?







J

why what's wrong with it ?

[BienvenuJDC]

why what's wrong with it ?


because it is...

trash, pure and simple.

[Alexander III]

because it is...

Personaly I don't think it is trash at all. But let us assume hypotheticaly that it indeed is trash. So what? Have you seen the personal poetry and general writing forums? The majority of everything is trash.

Yet, all the normal people, comment on what they like, comment on posts that are bad but show promise, and for the rest they don't comment often.

Yet somehow, if I went around to a bunch of posts and said "this is trash, get out of here you waste of space" It would be frowned upon. Justly, because to act like that I would show I had the maturity of a child and the dignity of hypocrite.

But when everyone does it to woolf, it is seen as just. Mass mentality is never a good thing, especialy on a site where I thought all the people were of a certain cultural level, and yet lo and behold most people on this thread are acting like drunken peasants forming a mob, simply because everyone else is doing it, so it is acceptable to vent out a bunch of unresolved issued upon a scapegoat.

Personaly I find woolf's writing interesting, and I am not the only one. If you do not get it and do no like it, that is fine, don't comment. But commenting just out of spite is really base -


So how about this, for all of those who attacked woolf unjustly, simply beacuse everyone else was doing it, so all of a sudden what is rude and base no longer appeared so because everyone did it - walk off the thread after apologizing, with your heads held high. And enjoy your right never to read another one of Woolf's posts, if you like.

or you could just ignore me and continoue to act like a mob of drunken peasants chasing down a poor witch.

[BienvenuJDC]

Seeing that this writing seems like an excuse to use profanity (even though the ** are used) and vulgarity, it seems like something that should be just taken off the site. It's not even done in a good manner. It's like he's trying to be offensive and childish on purpose. So I think that I will just ignore you without being like a drunken peasant, but someone who is voicing his opinion about BAD writing.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Personaly I don't think it is trash at all. But let us assume hypotheticaly that it indeed is trash. So what? Have you seen the personal poetry and general writing forums? The majority of everything is trash.

Yet, all the normal people, comment on what they like, comment on posts that are bad but show promise, and for the rest they don't comment often.

Yet somehow, if I went around to a bunch of posts and said "this is trash, get out of here you waste of space" It would be frowned upon. Justly, because to act like that I would show I had the maturity of a child and the dignity of hypocrite.

But when everyone does it to woolf, it is seen as just. Mass mentality is never a good thing, especialy on a site where I thought all the people were of a certain cultural level, and yet lo and behold most people on this thread are acting like drunken peasants forming a mob, simply because everyone else is doing it, so it is acceptable to vent out a bunch of unresolved issued upon a scapegoat.

Personaly I find woolf's writing interesting, and I am not the only one. If you do not get it and do no like it, that is fine, don't comment. But commenting just out of spite is really base -


So how about this, for all of those who attacked woolf unjustly, simply beacuse everyone else was doing it, so all of a sudden what is rude and base no longer appeared so because everyone did it - walk off the thread after apologizing, with your heads held high. And enjoy your right never to read another one of Woolf's posts, if you like.

or you could just ignore me and continoue to act like a mob of drunken peasants chasing down a poor witch.
Man, Alex, it's hard to see you all the way up on that pedestal. Thank God we have you to tell us mortals to behave.

Wolf has only brought this criticism on himself from his attitudes. A RULE on this forum is to accept criticism, something Wolf never does. He either ignores it, or replies with a snide insult. Does he ever try to grow as a writer? No. On top of that, he has the gall to actually criticize other writers here on LitNet. He's a troll, and I have a sneaking suspiscion that if anyone scares off new members from sharing their work, it's his mumbo jumbo (i.e., the above piece). You also say the majority of everything posted in the writing sections is trash. Well, at least those writers can accept and value criticism, rather than acting like a child.

Why do you like this piece, Alex? I see no redeeming features. For one, it is in no way original or revolutionary, which is, of course, Wolf's goal. There's no discernible plot or message. The prose is childish, and like Bien said, it seems an exercise in using profanity and nothing more. I would've said that in my first post, but j figured, why bother? I'll be succinct in my opinion, which it is my right to express.

The criticism has only been brought on by Wolf himself. His pompousness and complete unwillingness to have any kind of thoughtful discourse is his doing alone.

[Darcy88]

Personaly I don't think it is trash at all. But let us assume hypotheticaly that it indeed is trash. So what? Have you seen the personal poetry and general writing forums? The majority of everything is trash.

Yet, all the normal people, comment on what they like, comment on posts that are bad but show promise, and for the rest they don't comment often.

Yet somehow, if I went around to a bunch of posts and said "this is trash, get out of here you waste of space" It would be frowned upon. Justly, because to act like that I would show I had the maturity of a child and the dignity of hypocrite.

But when everyone does it to woolf, it is seen as just. Mass mentality is never a good thing, especialy on a site where I thought all the people were of a certain cultural level, and yet lo and behold most people on this thread are acting like drunken peasants forming a mob, simply because everyone else is doing it, so it is acceptable to vent out a bunch of unresolved issued upon a scapegoat.

Personaly I find woolf's writing interesting, and I am not the only one. If you do not get it and do no like it, that is fine, don't comment. But commenting just out of spite is really base -


So how about this, for all of those who attacked woolf unjustly, simply beacuse everyone else was doing it, so all of a sudden what is rude and base no longer appeared so because everyone did it - walk off the thread after apologizing, with your heads held high. And enjoy your right never to read another one of Woolf's posts, if you like.

or you could just ignore me and continoue to act like a mob of drunken peasants chasing down a poor witch.

Its not mass mentality, its taste. Wolf has been posting garbage lately. Its likely he's doing it just to provoke a negative reaction. You post here and you open yourself up to criticism. I'm not even saying Wolf should leave, I think he should post serious creative efforts and accept criticisms. You have no right to tell people not to comment and I don't think anyone needs to apologize.

[Bonsai Ent]

Yeah, Wolf doesn't seem to take criticism very well.
And it's his right to take the piss out of his critics, but it does seem that his posting this stuff is a bit of a game for him.
He does it to get the negative reactions, which he then revels in...
If you've ever read his interviews with himself it's plain to see how he has built a self-esteem out of rejection. He's invented a narrative for himself as the outsider-artist, the thorn in the side of the literary establishment (who, in point of fact, haven't actually heard of him).

Ignoring him would probably be harsher than indulging him.